How to deal with fellow applicants' arrogance?

Applying to College
1

<p>I just need to vent a little, because this is driving me crazy.</p>

<p>There are two people at my school applying to more competitive American colleges, me and another person.
We have the same grades, all A's and one B (mine in gym, the other person's in math (almost calc, but our country's equivalent) and are strong writers. Our ECs really differ, but but this person isn't spectacular. Good, but there's loads of other people like her/him.</p>

<p>The other person's applying to HYPS, Brown, some selective LACs, etc,etc, really selective schools. S/he isn't applying for financial aid, which of course might increase his/her chances, it's just that this person gives me an attitude about it. I just don't happen to have 200.000 dollars lying around ,sorry!</p>

<p>I'm applying to three top-ranked LACs. I started my application process in late November, since I wasn't given permission by my parents to apply earlier.</p>

<p>The other person is going around acting like h/she already received his/her acceptances and the rest of the school are acting like that too.
Our classmates ask me where I'm applying, and I give them my schools. I get a weird look and they ask me why I didn't apply to HYPS because they sure THEY would get accepted if they just applied. </p>

<p>The thing is, I'm not applying to bad schools. I think I've made a realistic list, two semi-reaches, sure, but there's still a chance I could get accepted and I'm happy with my choices. I know the chances of getting accepted to HYPS are nearly zero. The problem is that no one here seems to realize it. </p>

<p>I can admit that I'm jealous of this person. I would have loved to apply to HYPS,etc, but I didn't have the time and it's very unlikely that I'd be accepted. I realize I kinda want this person to not get accepted, just to prove that I'm right. Petty, I know. </p>

<p>But I get so tired of the attitude that this person is so much better than me just because s/he applied to certain schools.</p>

<p>This person got rejected ED from a VERY selective school and told me this with the attitude 'I dont understand why I was rejected, I mean I was sure I would get accepted. Why wouldnt they accept ME?!'</p>

<p>I just get tired of the arrogance this person displays. Any advice on how to deal with it? </p>

<p>Enough of my venting. ^^</p>

2

<p>Sweetheart,</p>

<p>No matter where we go in life, and no matter what we do, there will always be someone smarter, wealthier, more attractive, etc. What you have to do is be confident in yourself and make sure you are happy with YOUR choices. I think it is natural to be focused on someone like this at your age (heck even at my age, people around me are focused on others) but you have to dig deep and understand that all that negative energy you are pouring into this situation will yield you nothing.</p>

<p>Be the best person you can be and find it in yourself to congratulate him/her when and IF those acceptance letters come. Then pat yourself on the back for making choices that are best for you and your family. Six months from now when you are sitting in a class with the peers in the college you attend, this will simply be an afterthought.</p>

<p>Just a Mom!</p>

3

<p>I don’t understand what the problem is…if you don’t like this person, don’t talk to her. If she talks to you, smile and walk away…She should be irrelevant to you…</p>

4

<p>This person is giving you valuable experience. </p>

<p>If it does not effect your own interests, politely validate their comments or be non-commital. Use ;“That school is really hyper competitive. I hear kids with their family names on buildings get turned down frequently” or some such BS.“How many foreign students are being accepted with the economic downturn in the US being so bad?” could also be useful.</p>

<p>Being petty is a common human failing. We all indulge at one time or another.
You do not really want to hurt this kids interests, especially as you are not applying to the same schools. Concentrate your time and energy on advancing your own interests.</p>

5

<p>collegeshopping, Thank you :slight_smile:
You are right, of course.</p>

<p>The whole ‘being a good person and be happy for others’ just isn’t that easy sometimes.
I will try, though. And I am happy with the schools I’ve chosen. it’s just frustrating to have others question them all the time. </p>

<p>Begone, negative energy. :wink: </p>

<p>Thanks again. ^^</p>

<p>geeps20, honestly, I’m not sure what the problem is either… :stuck_out_tongue: I think I’m simply irritated with the situation and needed to put it in writing. I think the uncomplicated answer would be that heck, I’m jealous. Or a combination of those and other things. The sad thing is we used to get along fine, before this person started with this attitude of superiority. </p>

<p>BigG, true. I never though about it like that. Good point. (we are, however, applying to one of the same schools. sadly. :P)
I wish I wasn’t petty though. It feels stupid, because really, i dont have that much to complain about. But that’s question for another board, other people and another time.</p>

6

<p>Well, that person is obviously a jerk. I also hope they get rejected.</p>

7

<p>As someone above pointed out, in six months you’ll be wherever and s/he’ll be wherever, and you don’t have to ever see each other again. </p>

<p>Instead, there will be someone else to bug you! </p>

<p>Besides, if you really want to feel superior (and we all do from time to time), realize that your B in gym is not important at all to the schools, while her B in almost-calc might be.</p>

8

<p>If she speaks to you directly, look her in the eye and say with as much sincerity as you can muster “I hope we both get into the colleges of our dreams!” and then try to mean it. When I know I’m thinking unkind thoughts, I try very hard to respond in the way that I would wish to feel. And oftentimes I find that I really do mean it. You want to get into the school that will make you happy and deep down I bet you don’t wish your schoolmate anything but the same.</p>

9

<p>Here’s the deal: it’s never over until it’s over in college admissions. Really! Last year’s admissions statistics were absolutely brutal, and this year’s are rumored to top them in terms of percentages of highly qualified applicants turned down. Just because your classmate and many around her think she has her acceptances in the bag doesn’t make it so! Shocking things have and will happen! You may achieve unparalleled success in your admissions outcomes, and the acceptances she is counting on may slip through her fingers. Wait and see.</p>

10

<p>At least you are not competing for a slot in the same schools…I could see how that would really bother you.</p>

<p>Do something to relax and take your mind off the whole college situation. You sound like you could use a fun diversion; maybe after you are refreshed you’ll feel differently. Good luck to you!</p>

11

<p>Cheer up: if the jerk was rejected ED from a very selective school, s/he is unlikely to get into HYPS or Brown.</p>

<p>Now, imagine how hard it was for this person to have to tell you and everyone else to whom s/he has been bragging that s/he was rejected. No wonder s/he tried to assume an attitude of superiority.</p>

<p>Next time someone asks you where you’ve applied, say “Oh, several schools that I really like” and change the subject. Next time the jerk brings the subject up, follow zoosermom’s advice in post #8. Try to find something else to think about: it will all be over soon.</p>

12

<p>Aw, you are all so sweet and you make me feel a lot better. Thanks for taking the time to reply!</p>

<p>zoosermom, that is a great trick. i’m really going to try that. </p>

<p>1down, 1 to go, the truth is i could use a diversion. I’ve been busy with moving, unpacking 300 boxes (like really. 300.), school, school paper, fin. aid papers and health problems. So yeah. Luckily I have break now, I’m trying to relax. Sleep a lot, write, hang out with friends. So it’ll get better. ^^</p>

<p>But honestly, I kinda still hope this person gets rejected. :P</p>

13

<p>ha theres a guy at my school like that
he didnt used to be, but wow…</p>

14

<p>…high-5 'em in the face…;)</p>

15

<p>Ivy League is WAAAYYYY over rated. Hi five for applying to LACs.</p>

<p>Next time classmates give you crap just ignore them</p>

16

<p>better idea - kill them.</p>

17

<p>Lol at previous post.</p>

<p>Don’t worry about it. The higher they are, the harder they fall…</p>

18

<p>Hahaa, I dont think killing someone will do much for my ‘be-a-good-person-plan’. ;)</p>

<p>We discussed likely letters two weeks ago. quote from person “i’m expecting one any day.”. s/he was being completely serious. However, I don’t really think this person really understands what a likely letter is.</p>

<p>iVinshe, that used to be one of my favorite quotes. I used to say it all the time when I was in like eight grade… :P</p>