<p>My parents, moreso my father, are ignorant, as the title says, when it comes to colleges. They are blinded by Ivy League schools and schools that are known by the world. I'm beginning to think that subconsciously I am applying to two ivy league schools just for them.</p>
<p>I asked my dad to get the bank statements for financial aid for two schools and he started getting arrogant, saying why he had to waste time and effort getting forms for no-name schools (UWisconsin and UIUC). I almost threw up. At times he wants me to go to an affordable school so he can send my younger sister to college too but then he wants me to go to a 'prestigious' school, which are mostly above 40k per year. </p>
<p>What, excuse me, ****es me off is that he probably wants me to go to a 'good' school to get his ego stroked at work, which will last all of two weeks, maybe. I try to convince him that what matters is the student's enthusiasm but I guess it's like talking to a brick wall.</p>
<p>So now I'm stuck in a dilemma. Were I to be accepted to all my schools, I wouldn't know which school to pick. What if I get rejected from all reach schools? It's not that I hate some of my schools. I would not mind going to any of them but I feel uncomfortable knowing that my parents have such a big influence on my choice.</p>
<p>Both your feelings and those of your dad are natural. Your dad may want to brag about your school at work, but I'm sure he wants the best for you, too. As for his influence on your choices, it's hard for adolescents (and often for adults, for that matter) to separate their choices and feelings from those of other family members. </p>
<p>As long as you have a list of schools you like and they span a range of selectivity, try not to get too tied up with what your father thinks or hypothetical situations that may or may not occur in the future. Once your apps are in the mail I'd put your list away and concentrate on a strong finish to your high school coursework and engaging activities outside of class.</p>
<p>If you can't put the list away, I'd spend some time thinking about fit - how the schools appear to match your academic, career and social interests. That way, when it's time to choose you'll be able to articulate your reasons for attending the schools where you are accepted, and and you'll be able to have a productive discussion with your father.</p>
<p>Some people really believe that non-Ivy schools are worthless. Those are the people who are concerned about image, status, and credentials. I've met some students with parents who lived as if what school you attended and the major you chose was a life or death decision.</p>
<p>In my case my dad didn't limit his preferences to Ivy Leagues but when I did go to one he bragged to everyone and their brother. My dad is not a humble man so I guess it is good that he doesn't have much to brag about. My dad didn't have any say in where I went because he never planned on helping to pay for tuition, but I didn't find that out until after I accepted my early decision offer.</p>
<p>I wrote a very nice recommendation for a young man applying to the same Ivy league school that his father attended. We were all a bit surprised when he was not accepted. Turned out his essay was less than stellar - his lack of enthusiasm showed through. He is now happily enrolled at his first choice school. But I guess your apps are already in?</p>
<p>You might try to explain to him the admit rates at the Ivy schools and find a clipping about how many 4.0 1600's are turned down. Emphasize that application to those colleges are a lottery ticket and there is a very real liklihood of no acceptance and you don't want to be left high and dry with no college acceptance. Tell him that smart people have a good mix of reach/match/safety and those schools will get you good jobs and grad school prospects.</p>
<p>You'd probably make things easier on yourself by first realizing that despite your father's words, he is attempting to do things for you out of love. If you can accept that, then look for ways of involving him in your college process that will allow him to learn on his own about how very competitive it is to get into Ivies, and how much some other colleges have going for them.</p>
<p>Perhaps you could ask him to read an article about admissions, and then you could ask for his opinion of the article or his advice about how you could apply the information from the article to your plans for college. I think that if you look for ways to include your dad in your college app process, while also allowing him the chance to find out on his own the reality of the current situation, he's likely to be more open minded about your options.</p>
<p>If you, though, simply try to explain things to him, he may feel condescended to and may close his ears to the facts you're giving.</p>