<p>What can I do to help my parents understand that their views on some paticular colleges are ignorant, and that just because they don't like a college, it could still be a fit for me?</p>
<p>I think some background information could help you to understand my problem better. My dad is an extremely conservative Baptist minister. My mother has been shaped a lot by him. Both went to grad school and obtained their doctorates at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.</p>
<p>Luckily, I've fallen a bit further from the tree than they would have liked. I'm much more liberal (specifically, a libertarian) than either of them. I'm at this point areligious and agnostic. </p>
<p>My dad really likes schools that republicans went to. I'm not one for either of the major parties... My dad really likes Princeton and Yale. I don't mind them, and would probably attend either if I was granted admission. However, I do like some other schools that my dad doesn't like very much. In fact, he flat out told me that if I chose to attend either of these colleges, that I would recieve no financial help from him or my mother. Which are these Satanic institutions?</p>
<p>UC Berkeley and the New College of Florida. Surprisingly, he doesn't mind Brown very much, but I think that's solely because of the Ivy tag. </p>
<p>What can I do to open his eyes? Will a school take any of this into consideration if I do choose to attend there, and my parents do decide not to help finance it? I'm thinking they will view it as parents trying to get out of having to pay for college...</p>
<p>I guess that's just life sometimes...</p>
<p>Well, there goes a match and safety that I really loved.</p>
<p>Visirale, what exactly is it that your dad and mom are worried about, college-wise? As a parent, I'm guessing that they know college is a formative time, and you will change much over four years. And they're worried about the way in which you might change. Give them SOME credit as you listen to what they have to say, then do some research about the colleges you like, and assure them they don't have to worry. If they think you have really thought things through, I'm guessing they will be less concerned than if they think you're out to rebel. Talking about your religious convictions probably won't help your cause at this point. Good luck, and I hope you can find a compromise college.</p>
<p>If you are not getting any financial help from your parents, then the decision of where to go is entirely yours. Otherwise, with their money comes strings. To me, it really is that simple. If you are a libertarian, I assume you'll choose to make your own way rather than rely on others, especially others whose values you don't seem to accept.</p>
<p>My dad is stuck on the 1960 image of Berkeley, and stories he's heard from friends about NCoF. Basically he thinks that if I go to either that I will become a drug-using hippie. </p>
<p>These are just two colleges that I'm interested in... The rest of my list (in some kind of order from what I like the most to the least) is: Amherst, Brown, Colgate, Vassar, Princeton, Harvard, University of Miami, USC, UVA..</p>
<p>I just want to go to a school with a very strong english program. Not necessarily one that will **** him off.</p>
<p>And if they had any idea that I wasn't really adhering to Christianity, I'd be sent to a reconversion camp in the woods somewhere in the mountains.</p>
<p>Well, I went to Berkeley and that school looks a lot different than those other schools. </p>
<p>My daughter goes to Michigan and it's a calmer Berkeley (except for sports). I think it is a great school and Ann Arbor is a fantastic place to go to school. </p>
<p>Your other schools on your list are pretty good also.</p>
<p>I stole this link form Barrons. Have you seen this?</p>
<p>Visirale -- Do you think you could find statistics or information that you could use to help convince your parents about the schools in which you are interested?</p>
<p>I'm thinking of things like -- substance free dorms, kids from families similar to yours who have attended these institutions, on campus clubs and organizations that indicate the presence of students with attitudes similar to those of your parents....</p>
<p>I know many folks who have your problem! If your parents have doctorates they are very bright people who probably know exactly what they are doing. They may also be just a little unwilling to recognize your own ideas and aspirations. What I would do is try to negociate with them. Don't storm out and just try to compromise and keep discussions cool without emotions. You may have to work on this over time with them.</p>
<p>Being quite sympathetic to students leaving high school and entering college it is a huge social emotional transitionI still have to question your problem. I cant really see that your parents are really harming you in limiting you to these extremely good schools that anyone would be lucky to get into.</p>
<p>My feeling is that this has a bit more to do with your pride than your interests. Berkeley is a very good school, but I fail to see why you must limit yourself to it. Berkeley has had a radical reputation in years past, this undoubtedly affects your parents (and likely, your own interest in Berkeley;)) as I understand it Berkeley is far more main stream these days and very like the other schools on your list (in terms of liberalismall universities are way to the left of America in general).</p>
<p>Prove to them that Berkeley has the only English problem worth your effort (this would, in fact, be impossible but you can try). </p>
<p>Moreover, I agree with dstark, how about Michigan?</p>
<p>Interesting you let out Yale: It has a very strong English department. I don't know enough about the public universities on your list, but I would guess that in terms of size, they are very different from Colgate or Vassar. The list seems a bit strange to me.</p>
<p>everyone else seems puzzled by your list while i find it to make more sense than most. youve found fits in different shapes and sizes and i think that is certainly beneficial. i wish i could provide any help with the parental situation but its not something i have any experience with.</p>
<p>The beauty of Cal is that it's big enough to offer a million opportunities to do whatever you want and a billion ideas to challenge the person you think you are. Yeah, there are hippies and druggies, but there are serious engineers and philosophers and straight-laced English majors, too. </p>
<p>In the end, though, if your parents won't pay for Berkeley, there are plenty of colleges on your list that will give you similar if not identical opportunities. I don't think your dad is being completely unreasonable, even if he is letting past stereotypes color his opinions. I know a young man who is the son of a pastor, and he was only allowed to choose from certain religious colleges. He wanted to explore life and learning outside of his religion. He lasted one year at Wheaton and then dropped out.</p>
<p>Okay, if you really want to tick off your parents, consider adding Reed to your list (its unofficial motto is "atheism, communism, free love"). The catch to that attitude is that your parents are apparently paying for your education, and thus do have veto power, so why not work with them to create a list that is mutually acceptable? </p>
<p>Your list leans heavily toward east-coast liberal arts schools. You might want to consider Carleton and Macalester (in MN), Pomona (in CA), the University of Chicago.</p>
<p>Briefly, there isn't much you can do (especially not with the attitude I perceive in the first sentence of your post - most people don't want to be convinced of their "ignorance"). The question you seem to be asking is this: "How do I convince my parents to let me go to any college I want to, even if it's contrary to their beliefs or they don't like it, but still pay for it?" The answer is, you don't. If you're old enough to make your own value judgments, you're old enough to stand by them - either take the money with the strings attached, or stick by your values and defer college until you can pay for it yourself.</p>
<p>Colleges won't consider your parents' refusal to pay when granting financial aid - they consider only their ability to pay (see all the posts about children of divorce in which the non-custodial parent refuses to contribute). You may qualify for some merit aid.</p>
<p>If you get into a school they'll pay for, suck it up for four years and save telling them that you aren't a christian (good for you, by the way) until after college.</p>
<p>Also, try to get a full merit scholarship (or close approximation) at at least one safety so that, in the worst case scenario, you know you have a guaranteed backup. If you're national merit, the full scholarship part isn't hard; if not, I'd start looking now.</p>
<p>In any event, I don't see a lot of cohesion between the colleges on your list; Amherst is going to be HUGELY different than Berkely, which is going to be HUGELY different from Princeton, etc....</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. I wouldn't mind going to the other schools, and the two that are being argued over aren't even at the top of my list. It just angers me when my parents laugh at me and tell me "You aren't going there... I won't have it"...</p>
<p>My list is a bit strange, but I have my reasoning. I can be equally comfortable at an urban school as a school in the middle of nowhere. I just like a lot of things... which is good I guess.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input everyone. I guess I just won't get worked up about it.</p>