How to deal with my parents (help please?? >< i'm really desperate)

Parent Cafe
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<p>Hi herx,
I think you sound like you're in really good shape -- in your app process and your scores. </p>

<p>Sounds like you need some professional advice. I wonder if there is a guidance counselor at your school who is on duty now? Some of them are already in schools getting organized for next school year. If you can sit down with one of them and talk about this, guaranteed they will be impressed with what you have done so far, give you tips and pointers, and perhaps will agree to a meeting including your parents. Don't forget too, that you will need a gc rec anyway for your apps. You will stand out from the crowd for meeting in the summer, believe me!</p>

<p>Another resource is the University of California Admissions Officers. Generally they are knowledgeable about the whole system and can give you expert advice, which you can relay to your parents. Give them a call today.</p>

<p>If I read a subtext, though, and correct me if I'm wrong -- you do not have a summer job? Did you arrange with your parents to work on college apps in lieu of a job? Because if that is the case, maybe their reaction is a bit extreme, but you must admit they do have half a point.</p>

<p>Now I am imagining they come home from work, see you playing videogames, and they think that's all you've done all day -- so kaboom, their reaction is off the charts.</p>

<p>You know, this would describe a lot of kids your age</p>

<p>
[quote]

I, however, am currently more interested in playing videogames, considering

[/quote]
</p>

<p>but many of them have summer jobs, or they volunteer, or take summer classes, etc. All of my kids are working, including my 15-yr. old. My rising-senior son won't have time to start his apps until the fall, because he is out the door at 7 am and doesn't come back until night.</p>

<p>So please correct me if I am wrong in assuming anything here.</p>

<p>A.M.</p>

22

<p>So sorry, herxstolen!</p>

<p>I just saw your post about your summer -- big hugs for you and apologies.</p>

<p>Your parents are being too hard on you. Get help from your school guidance counselor! He/she will tell your parents, you are just fine and a great kid. Also they will explain the concept of 'safeties'. My son was really pleased to be admitted to his safety (Sonoma State), because they had a great astrophysics program. He wound up going elsewhere --but we all got a wonderful impression of the school.</p>

<p>Can you negotiate with your parents to at least make a visit to UCDavis? Then you can see if you truly want to apply there, and maybe mom and dad will actually like it.</p>

<p>Big hugs and best of luck.</p>

23

<p>The multitasking on computer particularly drives parents nuts. It's new to your generation. THeir work style is to clear away all distractions while you want to steady flow of the world coming in at you.
Perhaps writing is a chore because you haven't given yourself a very deep chance for relaxation, which summer represents for you. You might need time away from everything you've mentioned, and head for water (beach, pool, hot bath) which is my particular strategy to clear my head of family stressors to begin writing.</p>

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<p>Once again, I thank EVERYONE SOO much for taking the time to help me >< you guys are all so wonderful!</p>

<p>
[Quote]
f I read a subtext, though, and correct me if I'm wrong -- you do not have a summer job? Did you arrange with your parents to work on college apps in lieu of a job?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>actually, i do have a job as a researcher in USC. Including commute time (which is via metro) I work from about 7:30 to 6:00 weekdays.</p>

<p>
[quote]
lol! why am i thinking you got chinese parents?

[/quote]

yeah i do >< haha is it that obvious? =P</p>

<p>Yeah i am feeling that I need a little R&R, but my parents seem to think that summer is a time to be rushing ahead in stuff I "wont have time to do in the school year".. for some reason, to them, apps are due like... first day of school or something.
my R&R was a family vacation the first week of summer, and I've been out with friends maybe three times since. (more if you count the times i had to sneak out ><)</p>

<p>so i dono what to do to get them to relax a little, and convince my dad that AIM isnt the devil, and he's wayyyy overreacting.</p>

25

<p>Can you just dash off essays that would keep your parents placated, but wouldn't actually be your real essays?</p>

26

<p>Applying to extra UC campuses is as simple as just checking the box on the common UC application (and paying the extra app fee). I strongly suggest checking the boxes for all you're interested in. All of the UC campuses are highly regarded. </p>

<p>I don't know why your parents would have something against UCD. Maybe you could show them the ranking of that U by US News & World Report (quite high in relation to thousands of colleges).</p>

<p>Here's another reason to apply to some of the other UCs that your parents might appreciate - it's always possible that one can be awarded a Regents scholarship at one campus but not another. A Regents scholarship is 100% academic based and generally pays for all tuition and sometimes books. By applying to more campuses you increase your chances of it. Winning it is generally more difficult at UCB/UCLA/UCSD and not quite as difficult (but not easy) at some of the others.</p>

<p>After hearing stats of those admitted and those rejected at some of the UC campuses it becomes apparent that one can't apply a strict formula and count on any particular campus. There are routinely people accepted by UCB yet rejected by UCLA and vice versa. There are some who've been rejected by UCSD but accepted to UCB and UCLA. There are many cases of people with apparently higher stats getting rejected and others with lower apparent stats getting accepted to the same school. </p>

<p>Again, since it's so easy to do with the common app, just check the boxes for all UCs you're interested in. If your parents refuse to allow you to do this because of the extra app fee (which is negligible in the scheme of things), offer to pay it yourself.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

27

<p>Herx (or anyone who can empathize), if you get stressed out and need a laugh, go to youtube and look up the video "How asian parents react when there son gets a B+" (yeah, it's "there", not "their)
I laughed so hard I was sobbing uncontrollably by the end - it was so funny because it's TRUE! I felt like I was reliving, word for word, every other night in my high school life...alas, those were the days. ;)</p>

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<p>I'm trying to convince my daughter to add UCD. Can your GC help you tell your parents that UCD generally has a higher ranking than UCI? Also, did you qualify for ELC? And the info about the Regent's scholarship is quite useful...</p>