Didn’t expect for College to be so hard and so difficult. Made me doubt my intelligence, ability, etc. Went into depression and now I struggle with the simplest things because I doubt everything about myself. H.S. was a lot easier for me and it gave me the confidence and idea that I could succeed in College. Well, first semester comes and I’m absolutely overwhelmed. I can’t focus, comprehend, or study as good as I used to. The expectations make me stressed out more than ever and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do it. When an exam comes or something I space out and go into a depressive trance that I can never get out of. Same thing happens when studying: I can’t concentrate. I try but I can’t and I get depressed and make it worse than what it is…I think I might have ADD I don’t know. Anxiety runs my life. I don’t have any friends. I have been like this for about one year and it’s not getting any better since sophomore year is coming up… I feel stupid. No one knows about my depression because I’m afraid of being perceived as either weak or crazy.
I want help but I don’t know where to start. I apologize for making this the most negative thread ever but I don’t have motivation anymore. Anyone else know anyone like this who came out fine? How are they doing today? All suggestions are greatly appreciated
Are there any subjects you find particularly interesting? Maybe join a club related to that topic, or better yet see if you can fit a class into your schedule as an elective. I’m totally with you in terms of high school being really easy, but it’s also been pretty much universally true for me that I do better in classes I’m excited about.
Go see a mental health specialist. You can ask for a referral from your primary care doctor. If you are at school go to the health center. The main thing to know is you don’t have to feel this way forever. You can get help and can feel better. You are not weak for knowing you need help.
I went through the exact same thing you’re going through on and off for the past three years. Still there to some degree. Luckily, sophomore spring I was able to get the help I needed. Because of that, my grades haven’t suffered too much, and I have a friend group I’m happy with. I’m also not so bogged down by anxiety like I used to be. I’m better at taking risks and trying new things.
Firstly, know you aren’t alone. College triggers these things in many people. Maybe it is the case that the classes you’ve chosen are just too hard. If that’s the case, think about what kinds of classes you did better in and/or enjoyed more. Consider taking more courses in that field.
But, as with me, it wasn’t that the material was too hard or my schedule too overwhelming. Depression and anxiety literally make it harder to do everything. Anxiety paralyzes you and depression just makes everything seem pointless and hopeless. They also affect your ability to concentrate.
Whichever is the case (the classes themselves, or mental illness), there are ways to get help.
[ul]
[]See if your school has free counseling services. Therapy and medication helped me a lot.
[]See if your school has a Disability Services Center or case managers. These are people who can help you if you’re struggling academically by helping you get extensions or making up work.
[li]Avoid eating too much sugar and caffeine, and get enough sleep. I made the mistake of pulling a few almost-all-nighters in a row with the help of some energy drinks. That sent me into a depressive episode that lasted for 2-3 weeks right around the last midterms of the semester and finals, which was awful.[/li][/ul]
I also have social anxiety, so it’s also been hard for me to make friends. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself; focus on joining even one club that doesn’t take up too much of your time. Go to random social events. Ask a group of students who seem to be group-studying for an exam if you can join them. There are many opportunities to meet people, and new students come in every year, so it’s never too late.
You aren’t stupid or weak, and this isn’t all in your head. Like I said, there are probably so many people also hiding mental health issues behind a facade, a lot of people may be able to relate to you. Freshman year is hard for a lot of people, but this is a new year full of potential.
I agree with others…you may need help with the anxiety and possible learning issues.
Here is additional general advice on how to do well:
GO TO CLASS, BUY THE BOOK, READ THE CHAPTERS, AND DO THE HOMEWORK!
Go to Professor’s office hours and Ask this question: “I know this is a really difficult class-- what are some of the common mistakes students make and how can I avoid them?”
If you have problems with the homework, go to Prof’s office hours. If they have any “help sessions” or “study sessions” or “recitations” or any thing extra, go to them.
Form a study group with other kids in your dorm/class.
Don’t do the minimum…for STEM classes do extra problems. You can buy books that just have problems for calculus or physics or whatever. Watch videos on line about the topic you are studying.
Go to the writing center if you need help with papers/math center for math problems (if they have them)
If things still are not going well, get a tutor.
Read this book: How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less by Cal Newport. It helps you with things like time management and how to figure out what to write about for a paper, etc.
If you feel you need to withdraw from a class, talk to your advisor as to which one might be the best …you may do better when you have less classes to focus on. But some classes may be pre-reqs and will mess your sequence of classes up.
For your tests, can you evaluate what went wrong? Did you never read that topic? Did you not do the homework for it? Do you kind of remember it but forgot what to do? Then next time change the way you study…there may be a study skill center at your college.
How much time outside of class do you spend studying/doing homework? It is generally expected that for each hour in class, you spend 2-3 outside doing homework. Treat this like a full time job.
At first, don’t spend too much time other things rather than school work. (sports, partying, rushing fraternities/sororities, video gaming etc etc)
If you run into any social/health/family troubles (you are sick, your parents are sick, someone died, broke up with boy/girlfriend, suddenly depressed/anxiety etcetc) then immediately go to the counseling center and talk to them. Talk to the dean of students about coordinating your classes…e.g. sometimes you can take a medical withdrawal. Or you could withdraw from a particular class to free up time for the others.Sometimes you can take an incomplete if you are doing well and mostly finished the semester and suddenly get pneumonia/in a car accident (happened to me)…you can heal and take the final first thing the next semester. But talk to your adviser about that too.
At the beginning of the semester, read the syllabus for each class. It tells you what you will be doing and when tests/HW/papers are due. Put all of that in your calendar. The professor may remind you of things, but it is all there for you to see so take initiative and look at it.
Make sure you understand how to use your online class system…Login to it, read what there is for your classes, know how to upload assignments (if that is what the prof wants).
If you get an assignment…make sure to read the instructions and do all the tasks on the assignment. Look at the rubric and make sure you have covered everything.
If you are not sure what to do, go EARLY to the professors office hours…not the day before the assignment is due.
You might think that this is all completely obvious, but I have read many stories on this and other websites where people did not do the above and then are asking for help on academic appeal letters.
One more thing to add: Don’t feel pressured to take on too many courses / credits. It might be best to start out with the minimum to rebuild your confidence and give yourself time to heal and figure things out. On the other hand, you might be like me and get more depressed when you’re too bored or under-stimulated. So try to find a balance.