<p>I really am being driven crazy by my parents. I am a very good student and all I never really ask for much, I am usually in my room doing my homework/problem sets and studying. I usually do this for 7 hours before going to sleep. My parents have been recently led to believe that I may have a psychological disorder and I am clearly not a normal college student, simply because I have never had any friends nor do I want any. I am happy and content with my life, I rarely ever feel sad or that my life is missing something, and am most certainly not a danger to other people. I've intentionally skipped all appointments they have made with a therapist, despite being harshly reprimanded by them. Any advice on how to deal with my parents? This is really affecting my productivity in getting my work done.</p>
<p>“Very bad parents”?</p>
<p>Guess you should include me in that category! It sounds like your parents are concerned, not bad.
I suggest you comply with these visits to a therapist and if they feel your OK, then there’s no reason your parents should be alarmed.
No friends and a lack of interest in gaining any is a big RED flag, IMO.</p>
<p>OTOH, this post is likely just a joke.</p>
<p>It’s unusual for a college student to not have friends and not want any. Could you be on the Asperger’s spectrum? If you are, and are content with your life, that’s not the sort of psychological disorder that requires therapy – that is, you wouldn’t be sick or crazy. </p>
<p>Here’s an online survey that might give you some insight:
[Wired</a> 9.12: Take The AQ Test](<a href=“http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html]Wired”>Take the Autism Test | WIRED)</p>
<p>(If you do fit that profile, then maybe a formal diagnosis would help to calm your parents’ fears. They are probably worried that you are depressed or have some sort of antisocial personality disorder. If you can give them a label that reassures them that you are the type of person who is comfortable without spending time socializing, perhaps they would back off)</p>
<p>I’d add that the traits for Asperger’s manifest somewhat differently for women – women with Asperger’s tend to be somewhat better than men at some of the social cognition issues, and are probably less likely to be diagnosed – but I couldn’t find an online symptoms list or screening. But it might be worth your time to do some Googling on the topic, as there are a lot of articles available on line…</p>
<p>Maybe the parents are the ones who need a therapist so they can learn to accept their child for who he/she is. </p>
<p>If it was me I would probably tell them a few things I think they would want to hear just to get them off my back.</p>
<p>
I’ve had very bad experiences with therapists when I was younger, so I’ll pass. Big red flag? Nonsense. There is no psychological disorder whose symptom is a lack of interest in friendships or never having any friends. </p>
<p>
Why would I be joking? I asked for sincere advice as clearly my parents are in the wrong and not I.</p>
<p>I got a 24 on the quiz.</p>
<p>I thought this was covered by this?
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1187254-dealing-nosy-parents-while-commuting.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1187254-dealing-nosy-parents-while-commuting.html</a></p>
<p>As I recall, you spent a lot of time discussing/explaining/defending your actions/feelings. Was the response there not enough?</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone can really help with what is going on here since we only have 1 side of the story.</p>
<p>Maybe you should see the therapist, explain what’s going on and then the therapist can tell your parents you’re fine? </p>
<p>Note: I noticed your last post was the same point you made over and over in the last thread. Not quite sure what you want people to tell you.</p>
<p>
There are things to learn that you can’t learn in books in your room. Lots of things.</p>
<p>I got 22, but the point is that it might be something for the OP to look at.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That would depend on how you define “psychological disorder”. Here’s a list for the diagnostic criteria for Aspergers, DSM 299.80
[DSM</a> IV Diagnostic Criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome](<a href=“http://www.autreat.com/dsm4-aspergers.html]DSM”>DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria for Asperger's Syndrome)</p>
<p>I think these criteria are geared largely to diagnosis in children, however - but lack of interest/never having friends certainly would apply. </p>
<p>I also feel that blanket statements such as “clearly my parents are in the wrong and not I” would tend to reflect that a person has difficult seeing or appreciating the others’ points of view.</p>
<p>
Yes, I initially took the advice to just ignore it until they stop, but they have only become more persistent as school has started for me. So much so that they have been distracting me from my work/school. </p>
<p>That is not bad advice, however, when I was much younger I had a very bad experience with a therapist, an experience I’d rather not risk of repeating. I know I am fine and content with my life, unfortunately, my parents have been led to believe to the contrary.</p>
<p>
Generally true, but everything I need to know in order to lead a successful and fulfilling career in the discipline I want to get into can be learned from a book.</p>
<p>
I don’t have difficulty seeing their viewpoint, often I do and compromise. However, they are clearly being unreasonable. I am doing what I love and I’ve truly never been happier, especially with my classes and when doing my problem sets. But, because most people do not find happiness in such things, they have come to the conclusion that my mental health may be compromised.</p>
<p>BIG, BIG red flags. Sad and scary. You learn social skills from friends, not studying them.</p>
<p>
I have social skills. In all group projects I have done, I have managed to get along well with my classmates and get the job done. I’m just not into socializing. That, however, does not imply that I do not have any social skills.</p>
<p>If you never had any friends and don’t want any, then you have a problem, and it is NOT your parents. They are simply concerned about you.</p>
<p>Life is more than hiding away in a room and studying all day.</p>
<p>Your parents have a right to be concerned.</p>
<p>In life, people skills are often more important than academic schools.</p>
<p>I see no evidence that your parents are “bad” parents.</p>
<p>Why not see the therapist, and see what transpires?</p>
<p>The fact that you have “never been happier doing your problem sets” is not LIVING a real LIFE.</p>
<p>I don’t think that you necessarily have a psychological problem, but I do think that you have to be dragged out into the light of day, and be forced to socialize with people, for your own good. You evidently feel that your parents’ attempts to help you in this regard is a big annoyance. That is the whole point. You NEED to be subjected to such annoyances. </p>
<p>My son is a bit of a loner too. Left to his own devices, he would simply read all day.</p>
<p>Again, that is not LIVING.</p>
<p>The fact that you believe that everything you need to live is contained in a book is very disturbing.</p>
<p>I am not the life of the party myself, but you can’t live life as if you were in a monastery.</p>
<p>The best way to deal with your parents is to go to the therapist. Establish a trusting relationship with the therapist. If you have negative experience or feel uncomfortable with one therapist, ask your parents to help you find one that you feel you can talk to. Once you’ve found a someone you are comfortable with, explain your point of view, as you have here, to the therapist. You will accomplish several things by doing this:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Just by simply agreeing to see (and then willingly seeing) a therapist you will help sooth your parents worries. They may be bugging you, but they are doing so because they are concerned about you and love you.</p></li>
<li><p>If you really are fine, the therapist will be another voice besides yours to help your parents understand this.</p></li>
<li><p>If, after establishing some trust with a therapist, you decide that you’d like to continue to see the therapist, what could possibly be wrong with that?</p></li>
</ol>
<p>
</p>
<p>Are you over age 18? If so, you are the one being unreasonable.</p>
<p>Look at this way: you are an adult and should be paying your own way in life. However, your parents are supporting you, paying for you to attend school and allowing you to live rent-free in their home. As a condition, however, they want you to see a therapist. </p>
<p>This may be because they are concerned about your mental health or it may be because you are a difficult person to live with. Online, you seem to be stubborn, unappreciative, and inflexible in your thought process. You seem to see situation as simply being you are right, everyone who disagree with you is wrong. This suggests to me that offline you might be a very difficult person to share a home with.</p>
<p>Living with other people requires a willingness to compromise and to respect the needs and point of view of the people you live with. It doesn’t matter if the people are your parents or same-age peers. </p>
<p>If you resent your parents’ intrusion into your life, the solution is easy: move out.</p>
<p>So you know perfectly well that the way to deal with your parents and get them off your back is to see a therapist. </p>
<p>While sure, maybe you can argue it is healthy and will have no impact on your life to have zero interest in socially interacting with others. However, if this isn’t a big red flag, this one is: your fear of seeing a therapist. Given you, as Mr. Smartstudent, surely knows this would solve your problem with your parents, the gigantic resistance suggests something far bigger than you are willing to admit.</p>
<p>Indeed, what I hear in reading your posts is someone who is extremely defensive. You come for advice, people offer it, and you shoot down every conceivable weak spot one might suggest you have. Your parents are bad, you are perfect, and posters that criticize should just not respond at all.</p>
<p>Your parents are just worried about you and should be. Seriously.</p>
<p>(I cross-posted with Calmom…interesting we describe the OP the same way).</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Actually, there is. I’m not saying you have it, but there is.</p>
<p>[Schizoid</a> Personality Disorder - PsychCentral](<a href=“http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx30.htm]Schizoid”>Schizoid Personality Disorder: Definition, Causes, and Symptoms)</p>
<p>I got a 37 on that test. Jeez.</p>
<p>But you should still go to that therapist. You might learn some interesting things, and you would get your parents off your back.</p>