The title asks it all…
So even though my dad and his siblings went to BS, it was not a voluntary decision, and was done because his parents had no choice (my grandmother had little schooling, grandfather was a busy and traveling for business)… My maternal grandparents are still quite confused (and rly hoping I don’t go for it) and don’t understand why my parents are ‘sending me away’. I have been offered admission to a (relative to the country I am currently in) very prestigious day school. Despite that I am leaning towards BS (MX). We have kept pretty mum about apps and only my grandparents know. However, I am heading to a family reunion and the inevitable question will come up “Where are you going to school next year” (my family is notorious for moving every year, so its asked pretty often). My parents will face interrogation from the adults while I will be trapped in a room full of my cousins (most of whom are older then me)… Our culture is pretty close-knit and most of my cousins live with their parents… its customary to live with parents through college and until they are married or at least working… My current plan is to give ambiguous answers (like we are still not sure… or we haven’t decided)… but I will eventually have to answer and I was wondering if anyone has been in similar situations and/or how they explained it (besides the the whole wonderful opportunities and challenging education thing, because I think its arguable that the day school has both of them)…
Would welcome any thoughts (and you could PM if you don’t want to share publicly)
This is a tough situation to be in I went through a little bit off this when I applied and got accepted to bs. I’m from the west coast and going to boarding school isn’t very common, so like you said, people think often that you are being “sent away”. I would try and focus on the fact that it was your idea to apply (which I’m assuming it was), you want to go, and then think of the reasons you wanted to go in the first place… a better education? Independence? Better college placement? to experience living in your own and getting to interact with people from all over the world? All of the above? Think through why you wanted to go in the first place and try and use that to explain it to your family if they still don’t understand. I know that these situations aren’t ever black and white and that is what makes them tricky but I have confidence that you can handle this
However you answer, in your situation, I think saying “I’m feeling I would benefit from being in the same school for the next several years so that I have a solid foundation for college” is legitimate.
I grew up in a community with lots of relocation, and BS was a common high school option for that reason.
We faced questions 10 years ago when first sending DS to private school, and now we are getting some questions about boarding school. Not so much from relatives (we have “socialized” the idea over time), but it’s not common in our town and there’s a lot of “How could you send your kid away at this age?” I think it is hard to argue with an explanation along the lines of it offering the best all around educational environment and setting FOR YOU, which takes into a lot of considerations, from academic quality to independence to college opportunities, etc., that are personal to you. It doesn’t have to be about what’s right or wrong or best or better for anyone else, just you. I think among some people there’s an outdated idea of kids getting “sent away” to BS for one reason or another; I think of it as an opportunity that I think (hope) will provide the best combination of factors for my son, which aren’t really available at any other school that is feasible for him to attend. I think that if it’s expressed as the best opportunity for you, personally, it’s harder to argue (though understood that in many families people will anyway :-)) Sure, you are extra fortunate if your family can afford for you to attend, or you receive the FA you need, but I don’t think anyone has to apologize for that, just be grateful.
I think @CTMom21 hit the nail on the head. People will have trouble objecting to, “I’ve been offered the opportunity to attend this incredible school … and it is hard to turn down an opportunity like that, especally since very few people are selected and invited.” It is an honor and an award of sorts, is it not?
You said “my family is notorious for moving every year,…”.
Isn’t this the reason, and the explanation for relatives? There are major advantages of going to the same high school for four years. If your family isn’t going to stay put for four years, then boarding school is the way to stay in one high school for four years.
Thank you all so much for the advice! I managed to avoid the question this reunion (cough cough… School?.. well uhhh… Oh look I think AtriaMum is calling… ) but I will use the advice to formulate an answer for next time!
I went through a little bit off this when I applied and got accepted to bs. I’m from the west coast and going to boarding school isn’t very common, so like you said, people think often that you are being “sent away”. I would try and focus on the fact that it was your idea to apply (which I’m assuming it was), you want to go, and then think of the reasons you wanted to go in the first place… a better education? Independence? Better college placement? to experience living in your own and getting to interact with people from all over the world? All of the above? Think through why you wanted to go in the first place and try and use that to explain it to your family if they still don’t understand. I know that these situations aren’t ever black and white and that is what makes them tricky but I have confidence that you can handle this 