<p>Just apply for him to a couple of the schools without telling him.</p>
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<p>Community college for 2 years – followed by a transfer to the flagship state university – is not necessarily a disaster, and for some students is a more attractive option than 4 years at a “directional” state school. </p>
<p>Of course, for a lot of the highly academic kids whose parents post here, the flagship itself is their academic safety, and if the family can afford it (and/or merit aid is likely to be available), it may be their financial safety as well.</p>
<p>I think the “parent pick” option is a good one. It avoids a lot of the arguments. Just say that you will be picking a couple of the schools to which he is applying. He doesn’t have to go to them unless they turn out to be where he wants to go, or the best he can afford.</p>
<p>Another approach would be to say “You must identify two schools where you have a better than even chance of being admitted, whose cost fits in the budget we gave you without winning highly competitive scholarships, and which meet our academic standards. I think I know some, and I’ll tell you if you want, but it’s your decision which schools. Our decision is that you need to apply to some of them. And our advice is that you ought to find the best ones you can, because there’s a real chance that’s where you will be going to college.”</p>
<p>I would let him know that you will be saying that, but I would avoid having the full conversation until the spring, when you will know a lot more about his test scores, GPA, and eligibility for formula merit scholarships at lots of schools. Those things are going to have a lot of effect on how he approaches that question, and it’s not all that efficient to spend a lot of time on it without having most of the relevant inputs.</p>
<p>One mistake was telling your son that ‘you’ came up with a school. All ‘no-name’ schools that I mention to son always come recommended by someone else (perhaps a poster on CC but don’t tell him that)…</p>
<p>'I was talking to a faculty member today, he has a nephew that goes to … Sounds like a great place and you might like it." </p>
<p>Never fails but he truly is very open to his options.</p>
<p>*all students need at least one school that is both an admissions safety and a cost safety (= overall safety) and which they would be happy attending. *</p>
<p>I think students with some financial issues need at least 2 - 3 of these financial safety schools that they like for a few reasons… </p>
<p>1) By the time spring comes, the student may no longer like one of these safeties.</p>
<p>2) There’s a chance that one of the schools may not be as affordable as once thought (some schools have hidden outlandish fees or some other little known costs…or maybe a scholarship or grant that was thought to be assured, really wasn’t.).</p>
<p>3) There may be some weird rejection (happened to a nephew…rejected by what they thought was a sure safety…they still are scratching their heads.).</p>
<p>4) It’s good for morale to always feel that you got to make a choice. No one really likes to feel railroaded into the one affordable choice. With at least 2 financial safeties, a student still feels empowered to make a choice. (My friend’s D only applied to one financial safety (regional state, which she liked), which she now attends, and she calls her school “the booby prize.” She felt powerless once rejections and the bad FA packages from the other schools came in…especially when she had to listen to classmates debate which of their choices they would be selecting. The sad thing is that the flagship would have been a financial safety for her as well, but she didn’t apply there. 
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<p>A safety is one where affordability is certain, not likely. Likely affordability is more of a match.</p>
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<p>Yield-conscious private schools tend to be less reliable safeties – they do not like being used as safeties by applicants who will not attend if they get admitted anywhere else. Probably a way to tell such a school is to look in its common data set and see if “demonstrated interest” is a factor in admissions.</p>
<p>*A safety is one where affordability is certain, not likely. Likely affordability is more of a match. *</p>
<p>Exactly…some think that easy entrance schools that may not be affordable are safeties, and they’re not. For many, even a Flagship that they know that they’ll be accepted to may not be affordable.</p>
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<p>That’s horrible advice, sorghum.</p>
<p>I think the key is to make the kid think that he found the solution on his own. Perhaps you can make up a list of some schools and why they fit the criteria, and then ask him to research those schools and come up with new ones that fit that criteria if he is so inclined. I think even if the school you found was nirvana, there’s a natural resistance of a teenager to “my parents found it for me.” </p>
<p>Is there someone else who could drop the hint to your kid to take the “parent pushing” thing out of the equation?</p>
<p>We had “parent picks” and kids were required to apply. Kids could apply wherever else they chose. We even had “parent pick” required admitted student visits to the “parent pick” schools. Kids were allowed to make the final choice which wasn’t ever a parent pick. But I still think it was a good idea.</p>
<p>I still sort of think my picks were better. I am a really big fan of small liberal arts colleges.</p>