<p>Hope this doesn't sound too simple minded but for what its worth.</p>
<p>I have a child in a very tough academic program who sometimes calls when the going gets rough. After she's done venting I'll ask - do you want advice or were you just calling to vent. Often she just wants to get it off her chest and really feels like she knows what to do or wants to talk it out... and I just have to bite my tongue</p>
<p>Thanks postone....I really think that is most of it...she just keeps telling me that she can't get ahead but every time I suggest anything she say's, I know or you don't understand or something along that line...I really do think she just needs for me to hear it....not necessarily to feel bad for her but just to vent to someone she is so used to venting to as when she was home...we were (are) very close...tough all the way around I guess....for me to let go and let her fall if necessary and for her to get up and move foward without me there to push her...I guess that is why sometimes she almost seems angry when I make suggestion...maybe she doesn't really need one...just needs me to listen...it'll take some tongue biting but I am so willing to try...thanks!</p>
<p>She should use the school resources (study sections, office hours, etc.) It would also help to get together and study with several students who are in the same boat. </p>
<p>That said, many (over 50%) of students that start on the pre-med track give it up during their freshman year. Some because they decide that it's "not worth it", some because they find other fields they are more interested in, and some because they realize that they just can't handle it. It is a tough road, and it is not for everyone.</p>
<p>APF- consider that she may have already come up with a fix by the time she calls you... so what she's really asking is, "do you think I'm going to be able to turn this around?" to which the answer is "absolutely". She may not want or need your specific suggestions- just a sense of your confidence and support.</p>
<p>I found with my own kids that it's helpful to keep reinforcing the following:</p>
<p>1- we have confidence in your ability to succeed at anything you put your mind to.
2- Lots of things in life are hard and require enormous effort.
3- Lots of people are successful at things that they failed at the first, second, or third time they tried.
4- Getting help or admitting you're in over your head isn't for losers... only losers think they can tough it out themselves.</p>
<p>Then let it go. You can't force her to study harder or more efficiently... but you can encourage her to spend time at tutoring sessions, ask the professor for study tips, make sure she has a quiet place to work, etc. Keep reminding her that everyone needs help with things that are hard (Olympic athletes have coaches; Nobel prize winners have teachers and mentors; Grammy winning performers have voice instructors) and encourage her to allow all of the college's resources to kick in.</p>
<p>Blossom - I love that. My D refusesto get help when she's struggling with math, but she is a violinist and wouldn't dream of foregoing her private lessons. I'll definitely use that one!</p>
<p>Beautiful post, blossom.</p>
<p>Reminds me of the wise japanese proverb posted on the LTS inspiration thread (forgive my possible misrendering of it):</p>
<p>"Fall down seven times. Get up eight."</p>
<p>One of the best lessons we can teach our kids.</p>
<p>What is really tough for me is that I know my daughter is working hard, and she still has high B's in all 4 of her classes. Normally, I would be fine with that, but she has to have at least two As to keep her substantial scholarships. She has to have a 3.5 average.</p>
<p>She is getting frustrated, and I know she is worried. I'm afraid if this keeps up, she is going to get tense and start messing up on tests and quizzes because she is trying too hard. </p>
<p>I regret supporting her decision to be in the honors college, which stinks. She challenged herself, is doing fine, and if she continues the way she has started , she will be punished for getting perfectly fine grades.</p>
<p>"Fall down 7 times. Get up eight" doesn't work here. We can't afford for her to lose her scholarships. Sigh.</p>
<p>Agreed, vderon. That is tough when the scholarship maintenance GPA is so high. Too high, imo.... but unfortunately I have no clout :(.</p>
<p>Do they alter the scholarship after only one term? If your D is a first term freshman, and not in one of those fields where they curve/weed out... it will likely come around for her.</p>
<p>She should do the various things that have been suggested though... re prof office hours, academic resource centers....</p>
<p>One of the things I firmly believe is that profs are human. They will note when a student is really trying - by visiting prof ofc hours, eg - and when it comes times to give a final grade... something like that can tip a "high B" to an "A."</p>
<p>Also it might come to needing to know if there is a grace period.... in case she misses the 3.5 treshhold.</p>
<p>Thanks jmmom. I think it's a bit too soon to call and ask if they will rescind the scholarship after 1 term. </p>
<p>If I know the answer to that question, it will be hard for me to not share that information with D. I don't want to put any more pressure on her.</p>
<p>After mid-term, if the situation is the same, I will call the school and ask about a grace period.</p>
<p>I just wanted to add a few more points to the thread, from my perspective as a prof:</p>
<p>There are TONS of resources available to your students- encourage them to seek those out on campus: professors will help if you visit them, tutoring, counselling, advisors, study-groups, TAs, to name a few. </p>
<p>Remember poor early grades may not be anyone's "fault". The rigor and grading standards of the HS to the college may be drastically different. The class composition is different from HS. All one's classmates may be prior A students who worked hard: now not everyone is going to get those same top grades in college. Most courses are curved. </p>
<p>Having said that, its WAY too early to be worried. The term has just started! Everyone freaks out in the first term of college, worried if they have what it takes. There is a LOT to adjust to and it is hard for everyone. One's early grades in the first term of a degree are not necessarily indicative of things to come. Moreover, you don't yet know how the courses will be curved for the final grades. There is sooo much time to go. </p>
<p>But as a parent, I know what it's like to worry. Easier said than done.</p>