First, my apologies for having two threads open but I mean they’re two separate issues sooo…
This is long but help a brother out! Especially the 2nd situation.
So this past summer I worked my school’s freshmen orientation (as a student leader) as well as this camp thing where I was a student mentor for a bunch of “at risk” incoming freshmen.
I met this one kid who was in my camp group who I liked a lot. And this past week I talked to him because he always seems to look sad to me. He’s not much of a talker but I asked him to come by my room anyways. There, he told me he’s hating college. He said he’s feeling like he’s not make any “real” friends and that he feels unattractive and he’s afraid to speak to people most of the time. He walked on for our soccer team and I had been noticing he doesn’t ever seem to be with the other soccer players; he said he feels like he doesn’t belong with the rest of them since he’s the only one to walk on. His classes are boring him. And he said he feels like no one cares about him there.
I tried to cheer him up. I told him he’s probably one of the best-looking guys I’ve seen (and I wasn’t lying/exaggerating either) and that he just has to put himself out there because he’s a good guy and people will like him. I told him he made the soccer team for a reason and that he deserves to be on it. I plan to get the other two freshmen soccer players (who were also my kids for orientation) to get him to hang out with them. I told him the freshman year classes bored the hell out of me too but it has gotten better. And lastly, I told him that if nothing else, he should know that I care about him.
I don’t know if I managed to cheer him up but I want to help him because I really do care about him and really like him.
Another freshman with issues. This one was not only one of my orientation kids, but also at the camp thing.
He’s interesting. He came into orientation and the camp being kinda overly-nice and actually most of the other kids felt he was being super flirty…and not just with the girls. The guys at the camp thought he was gay and avoided him a bit. He’s pretty metrosexual and looks groomed like a stereotypical gay guy. He does modeling and kinda dresses a bit…“metro” and maybe even a bit “slutty”. But I like him because I can tell he’s a genuinely nice guy.
He texted me and said he wanted to talk. So I invited him to my room and he told me how he’s feeling. He tries very hard to be as nice as he can because he wants everyone to like him. He insists he doesn’t even realize he’s coming off as flirty most of the time. He confided in me that he’s bisexual but actually leans more towards guys (I suspect he’s prolly just gay). He’s afraid of letting anyone know because we go to a Christian university and he’s not sure how it would fare. He also said he questions his faith all the time and isn’t sure how to deal with it. He said he feels like an outcast at school and that he just wants “it all to end” which scares me.
I told him to just be himself and people will like him. I told him there are some guys on campus either openly or assumed to be gay and no one cares. I couldn’t really help with his faith issue (I’m not Christian or even religious). I told him that he can’t “end” anything because it’s only the beginning and there’s so many great things out there for him. I’m really worried about that statement he made but I’m not sure whether to report it.
What can I do to help these guys out? I want my orientation kids and summer camp kids to feel good about college.