Hi,
I have a brother who’s in 8th grade right now (so he’s moving up to 9th). He doesn’t study, yet he doesn’t play that much either. His problem is that he spends too much time on the Internet looking at comic books/manga and he does video games on his phone. He’s approaching high school very soon, and my parents are very concerned about his future. He currently attends public school in Japan and my parents want to send him to an international school so he can apply to colleges in Europe, but his grades don’t support him. He frequently gets 50’s, 60’s and occasionally 80’s out of 100. How do you motivate a student like him to study for real? I don’t think time will necessarily solve the problem since he’s been like this for a long time.
Any advice appreciated!
Severely limit his access to the phone/internet and make him earn access with better grades.
Since you’re his sibling, not his parent, it’s not your job to fix him (thank goodness, and don’t try because he won’t appreciate it). Motivation is an interior drive-it can’t be externally created in any authentic sense. That being said, your brother doesn’t seem to have reasonable restrictions placed on his screen time by your parents.
If they don’t care or are not willing to do what it takes to enforce discipline (ie finish your work before you play), it’s probably not your job (or your place) to enforce a more scholarly paradigm in the home. It’s a bummer to watch, but I think beyond letting your brother know how worried you are about his grades and screen time, there isn’t much you can do.
I am empathetic with your concern for your brother. I will preface this by saying what was effective in our situation may not be effective in another. Our son, who is very smart, was doing just enough to get by. In the seventh grade we did two things. First, all 7 of his teachers, mother and father invited him to a 7 am meeting before school and he got a very honest and respectful evaluation; all the teachers told him he could be an A student and delivered thoughtful critique. Second, a couple of days later, mom and dad asked him what kind of material things he wanted in life (e.g., car, house, vacations, eat out, etc.). Then we went through the exercise of “how are you going to get them?” We looked at different jobs, what education you needed to get them, the pay for the various jobs, we added up expenses associated with living, etc. I prepared an Excel sheet for him to toy with. We convinced him that he can’t just turn on the switch when he gets to college, he had to start building a base. All this had a very positive effect on him. But again, it may not work for others. I hope it helps in your situation. Good luck!
I agree that a reality check can be greatly beneficial. Show him all the jobless people, minimum wages, difficulty of entry of jobs. He probably wants to have kids, a wife, a house, a car. Show that it doesn’t cost 10$ to have a nice life. It costs a lifetime of hardwork