<p>Uh... people have commented pretty intensely above, so i won't go into a big writing critique. With that said, it's pretty bad. It's about an insubstantial topic and your writing is elementary. Feel free to hate me (i know i wasn't thrilled when a friend told me my supplement essay to yale was BAD), but maybe in a week you'll be able to go back, examine the essay, and appreciate its shortcomings. Good luck to you, i know i'm dreading the essay writing the next month has in store for me.</p>