I’m a college freshman and I just moved into school about 3 days ago. Since then I’ve been a wreck. School is not what I thought it would be whatsoever. I got into my first school of choice and although it is a huge party school I was told it was still great. Since than I have not met anyone new. And by no means was I ever someone that was shy, I am outgoing and even signed up for a sorority during the summer. I start recruitment on Friday but I am just a nervous wreck all the time. I miss my family, I haven’t met anyone new and I’m feelings very overwhelmed. Please help!
I think you need to adjust your expectations. I assume you mean you don’t have new best friends because you have “met” new people. Maybe a roommate, recruitment group for rush, other students in class. Try not to compare yourself to others who from the outside seem to have an instant friend group.
Don’t try to do everything at once. Hopefully you picked this school because of education. Focus first on classes. If sorority recruitment is too stressful drop out and do it next semester if they have it or next year. Go to activity fair and join a group you liked in HS. Service groups or activities especially good
Other than the classes I remember not liking the social part of school until around thanksgiving. It is really too soon to write college off
I have never started a job where I liked it at the start. I would be nervous, everything was new and there was a lot coming at me all at once. New responsibilities, new people to work with. Given a few weeks as routine settled in I could start to enjoy my new position and actually love it.
Now when I start something new I EXPECT that I’ll need time to adjust. I know I’ll need to just settle back and keep plugging until the seeming chaos clears.
Take it all one day at a time. You’ll adjust. Erase the word HATE from your vocab. Instead admit to yourself that even super student can’t do everything in a mere three days.
You are actually in very good company: many students- including others at your college- feel as if they have jumped into the deep end of a very cold pool when they start college. You come up gasping for air, not able to touch the bottom and no reference points. You are learning so many things right now that everything is unfamiliar and uncertain. Give yourself time.
As @scmom12 says, you obviously must have met some new people, so back up and think through what you meant by that (you said it twice, so it’s obviously a big concern). Her advice is spot-on- read it again & take it to heart:
Absolutely, 100% you are not the only one at your college feeling this way. Look for fellow travelers- since you are not typically shy, be the one to reach out to somebody else who is looking lost. They may or not become a close friend- very often the first people you get to know at college aren’t the ones you keep forever- but they are another point of contact. Take it a day at a time. You can do this!
Have classes started yet?
Your first choice school is a party school but that’s not what you like. So the question is then why was it your first choice school?
Seems that you liked this school more than all others for a reason. You applied there, were accepted and enrolled.
Be excited to be there. Give it every chance to be everything you want it to be. Make it a great opportunity to open doors to the rest of your life.
Nothing is obvious, and it’s normal to be nervous. Now it’s your time to integrate into your new surroundings. You’ve got this. It’s your time to shine.
Other thoughts on how to make friends…
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do-p1.html
This is new and a bit scary. This is not high school, you do not have to fit in, you do not have to be like everyone else.
So far you might have acted a certain way because of expectations from family and friends, now is the time to discover who you are and what you are made of.
Explore interests of yours and find activities you enjoy. Chances are good that you will then find likeminded people there and make friends.
It’s great that you’re doing recruitment - that may help get your feet under you. But don’t limit yourself to sorority life. Hang in there and give it some time. My niece told me it took her a couple of months to feel good away at school.
@collegefreshman7 How is it going?