<p>So this thread was all about you and not your roommate?
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/651190-does-my-roommate-need-professional-help.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/651190-does-my-roommate-need-professional-help.html</a></p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Northstarmom, I did attempt to get couseling but was put off by the way the psychologist interrogated me. It’s like he wanted to be 100% positive I didn’t pose a danger to society. It was a very humiliating experience and I got nothing positive out of it.</p>
<p>How selfish can you be? People drop out of college for serious reasons, and you’re dropping out because you are having trouble socially? Who the hell thinks life is so easy? In order to get where you want to be, you have to work for it. Learn how to deal with people. Do something. Just because you have a 3.5 doesn’t mean you’re intelligent. I think you are stupid for not trying harder.</p>
<p>I guess you are right. Having a 3.5 GPA doesn’t mean I am intelligent and since I am not intelligent and have the social skills of an autistic person, there is no point in bothering with college. Noone is going to take me seriously the day I go to a job interview, anyway.</p>
<p>^ Not all psychologists are the same. Try a different one.</p>
<p>Why are you not listening to my idea for change? Seriously, at least try it. Ever since I officially proposed change exactly a month ago, so many experiences have happened in my life. I never knew so much could happen in one month. Real life is way more fun than the Internet.
This is coming from someone whose psychiatrist basically said in the most roundabout way possible that I was right when I asked if AS is just another word for social retardation. If I can do it, I’m sure you can.</p>
<p>A 3.5 is good. You even said you could do better. But that’s just it! If you have this extra time, put it too good use. Gain social skills. Social skills are like anything else - you must work hard at them and practice. </p>
<p>And, honestly, if you don’t like talking to people, what it be like working as a cashier at McDonalds? At least with a college degree, you’ll have more opportunities.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You want to drop out because you are not have “social fun” at college. Was “fun” the point or was getting a degree/ expanding your mind/ developing yourself the point? If your goal was to be a social god without putting effort into changing your attitude, then it ain’t happening.</p></li>
<li><p>A 3.5 GPA isn’t great by any standard? That’s bull. Maybe not by CC standards, but it is by many standards.</p></li>
<li><p>As stated, you will best develop social skills IN COLLEGE. Stop with the attitude of you somehow “selling out” or trying to “appease” everyone to be friends with them, seeking their approval. That is actually a horrible idea in both the process and results.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Just be YOU. Approval seeking, “please like me guys,” and related eggshell-walking, pathetic gestuers are like a turn-off to friends. Just do whatever the hell it is you want to do, and not care. And sometimes, take a risk and put youself out there to make a friend. Be accepting and not judgmental of other people, unless you feel like being a part of the very society you detest.</p>
<p>But look, the world isn’t really moral or fair. Be FUN or FUNNY or something that you can bring to the table with friendships. And my correlary to “be you, don’t care” is DONT BE A SOCIAL LIABILITY. This isn’t very hard, it means don’t dress like Steve Urkel, with your socks to your knees, and have a level of hygiene ABOVE REPROACH.</p>
<p>And you don’t have the social skills of an autistic individual, unless you have an abnormally shaped brain and lack any degree of empathy/ the belief that other people can actually have “thoughts” different from yours.</p>
<p>pmvd if you were dropping out of college and truly didn’t care, why the hell would you repeatedly post your life story on CC? Why would you post this on a College message board? Either:</p>
<p>a) You want us to talk you out of it because you need encouragement
b) You crave social interaction and advice but have no friends so you use the internet for this
c) You’re not dropping out of college but wanted to get everyone all riled up and hear them argue</p>
<p>I wish you the best of luck, whatever you end up doing. My only advice is to do what makes you happy, but be practical also :)</p>
<p>I agree with star’s post.</p>
<p>such a pity. that’s too bad. many unfortunate people wants to go to college, but can’t. and here you are dropping out just because you can’t get yourself to be nice to people. well, that’s too bad. i just don’t think you’re aware of how scared and shy other people can be too, even if they don’t seem it. it does take effort to approach people or even talk to people for that matter. if you think you’re struggling, try and remember that other people are probably struggling with it too. but that’s just really too bad if you could just develop some social skills, that combined with hard work and intelligence, you could really get somewhere. but if you like to do manual labor, janitors don’t really have to talk to anyone… they just come in the middle of the night, clean, and leave.</p>
<p>“Northstarmom, I did attempt to get couseling but was put off by the way the psychologist interrogated me. It’s like he wanted to be 100% positive I didn’t pose a danger to society. It was a very humiliating experience and I got nothing positive out of it.”</p>
<p>It’s not wise to give up on counseling because of your experience with one counselor. That would be like having a medical problem, but not pursuing help because you didn’t like the first doctor you went to.</p>
<p>I am wondering whether your perception is accurate about how the counselor questioned you. If the counselor indeed was concerned that you may be a danger to society, that’s a red flag that your behavior may be odd enough to cause alarm in trained professionals. If that’s the case, there is even less chance that you’ll be able to get a job – any job – and that also is more reason for you to get whatever help you can to develop acceptable social skills.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I hate to break it to you, but manual labor jobs require social skills too. In fact, IMO a lot of them require more social savvy than jobs that require specialized college education. If you are on a construction crew or a lumbering crew or a wildland firefighting crew, you really are part of a CREW . . . a closeknit group that works together cooperatively. Those kind of jobs can be dangerous, so it’s especially important that everyone can trust each other and communicate with one another. (An example . . . in the late 40s a group of smokejumpers went out to combat a wildfire and because they didn’t trust their foreman, who lit an escape fire and yelled “Follow me!” when the fire got out of control, all but two of them died.)</p>
<p>I don’t think the idea of taking off time from college is necessarily a bad one. And even if you decide not to go back to college, hey, that is not the worst thing in the world . . . There are plenty of people who don’t finish college and have perfectly fulfilling lives.</p>
<p>BUT. I think you need to look at your past posts and realize that the problems that are troubling you right now are not going to disappear if you drop out of college. You wouldn’t be making all these posts if you weren’t unhappy. The root of your unhappiness is your lack of social skills. In almost every job out there, you will be working with or dealing with people. </p>
<p>Talk to a professional. Go back to the campus health building and ask to talk to a different therapist.</p>
<p>It’s sad that you don’t even try. A LOT of people are introverted and shy by nature, but many of them, like myself, overcome it. I enjoy keeping to myself and being pensive, but in social situations, I don’t just sit around and look glum. I don’t really believe personality disorders exist; it’s all in the mind. I’m usually a bit socially awkward/trip over words sometimes, but I really don’t care. Life isn’t about fearing other people and living in your own microcosmic world. If you can’t understand that, go ahead and sit around hating everything around you.</p>
<p>Do what you want.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Based on the things I have written on this forum, do you think that’s one of my “plans”?</p>
<p>Also, some of the most dangerous sociopaths are actually quite charming individuals with lots of people skills. They are the type of people you should be afraid of. I am just a poor, tortured soul seeking acceptance.</p>
<p>You are right, of course. Even the best psychologists and counselors, even the most experienced advisors on here like Northstarmom, and even your friends and family, can only do so much for you.</p>
<p>It’s up to you to pull yourself together. I can post a lot of motivational quotes here, some trite, some not-so-trite. We all can, if you want. But is that really what you need?</p>
<p>At the end of the day, it’s you who will make that decision to try, try and try again; it’s you who will make that decision to get enough sleep or eat properly or start exercising or stop whatever else may have been contributing to your depression; it’s you who will make that decision to stick it, no matter how bad your grades are. It’s even you who will make the decision to see a counselor, if that’s what you think you need.</p>
<p>Other people can only do so much, then it’s up to you. You are not responsible for the hand you have been dealt, but it is always up to you how you play it.</p>
<p>Audition for The Beauty and The Geek.</p>
<p>Why do you refuse to get professional help? It’s obvious that you are intelligent and that you recognize the nature and extent of your problem.<br>
If you needed medical help for pneumonia, you’d get it.
If you needed medical help for cancer, you’d get it.
Why are you refusing to get help for what seems to be depression-- a psychological problem that is more than likely caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain and can be helped by appropriate medication so that you could enjoy the rich and intellilgent life you deserve? Once the weight of depression is lifted from your soldiers, maybe you would have the energy to deal with your social problems too.</p>
<p>On what planet is a 3.5 at a Top 30 school “not that great”?</p>
<p>Does that mean the onslaught of “Everyone in college hates me because they secretly think I’m dumb and weird.” posts will finally cease?</p>