<p>I'm currently an upperclassman in college who is currently under my parent's financial support. I have come out to my parents multiple times that I have a transgender condition and I identify myself as a woman (they have threatened to cut off support, may have considered disowning me and the college I am currently attending does not have even have gender neutral dorms). My parents are somewhat religious and hold conservative attitudes. (eg. They believe that gay people made themselves to be gay because of a self perception of being weak.) Moreover, they feel that I should "snap out of my gender confusion/delusion", stop acting like a sissy and re-identify myself as a "man" because transgender people are weird and "mentally ill" because they suffer from "gender identity disorder" which must be cured.</p>
<p>While I place my academics as a number one priority, I am quite desperate at the thought of straining ties with my parents and having to lie and/or compromise with my female-identity that I have had for many years. I have talked about my feelings with my parents for many years and they have never given in. I am quite concerned that the later I come out fully in life, the less I will be able to conceal my male past, which could possibly lead to me in being more discriminated against and my ability to pass. I have tried to suppress my feelings and tried to "cure myself". It never worked - it only led me to become more miserable, resulted in sleepless nights (sometimes the entire night without sleep) and I cry quite a lot at night to the extreme point that I could feel heartache and could feel pain in my tear ducts.</p>
<p>I am asking about this because this has taken a large toll to my emotional health. Has anyone faced a similar situation (of being transgender) to mine before? Does anyone have any advice, any experience or stories of acceptance to provide?</p>
<p>Thank you very much.</p>
<p>[It</a> Gets Better Project | Give hope to LGBT youth](<a href=“http://www.itgetsbetter.org/]It”>http://www.itgetsbetter.org/)</p>
<p>They will come around. It will take awhile but don’t give up on them. They will have problems using female pronouns and may forever but be gentle with them , they are your parents. Give them literature and help them understand you are a woman even if the outside looks differently. </p>
<p>It takes time. One of my best friends is transgendered. We live in a very conservative community-she has had a much better time transitioning than most. Be yourself, be genuine - you will be ok and eventually your parents will too.</p>
<p>Until you are done with school, I would try to accomodate your parents as much as you can. I think your parents will come around eventually but it’s difficult. I have a friend whose child recently became male. She has always been very gay friendly, but found this surprisingly difficult. She also worried that her child was rushing physical changes that can’t be undone too quickly. She says the pronoun issue is very difficult especially when referring to the time when her child was a female. Her child wants to be referred to as a he, and my friend feels that saying something like “He wore the cutest dress on Easter” sounds weird, but she is doing her best to accommodate her child’s wishes.</p>
<p>It’s possible your parents never will be reconciled and you may have to limit your contact with them. I hope that doesn’t happen.</p>
<p>I think you got some excellent advice in posts 2, 3 and 4.</p>
<p>Also, is there a LGBT group on your campus? You might get some support and advice from other members in that group.</p>
<p>Thank you for your post. There is a LGBT group on campus that focuses on LGB, however, I have noticed that topics pertaining transgender (T) issues are left out – sadly, this even applies at the campus health center. I am an ethnic minority on campus and I feel isolated sometimes because of cultural differences.</p>