I beg you, please look over my letter (asking for probation)

Parents Forum
21

<p>Just because I really enjoy editing, here’s one way to cut it down:</p>

<p>Dear Academic Progress Committee,</p>

<p>I’m writing this letter to appeal the decision to dismiss me from SUNY Plattsburgh. I do not blame anybody but myself. Over these two semesters, I was overwhelmed by many academic struggles.</p>

<p>My first semester was really tough for me: immediately I found my courses to be very challenging. During mid-terms, I had two E’s! One subject that gave me the most trouble was Chemistry. My chemistry professor strongly recommended that I take a remedial Chemistry course in addition with the four credit general Chemistry course I was already taking. In the end I withdrew from the regular chemistry class and continued the remedial course. That first semester, my GPA was 3.11.</p>

<p>I started my second semester with high hopes. Looking back, I realize was overly ambitious about the number of credits I could handle. As the semester progressed, the content started to get complex. The biggest mistake I made was waiting to seek help. I started going to the learning center, the library, and even the professors. Even with the last minute efforts, my cumulative GPA dropped to 1.92</p>

<p>Before the year ended, I spoke to my advisor about some of the difficulties I faced. Concerning my grades, she said it looks like I was overwhelmed by taking more credits than I could handle. With her advice, I decided that it would be a good idea to drop my music minor in order to focus on the sciences. We then mapped out the courses that I would need to take in the upcoming semesters in order to graduate. My advisor even advised me to consider changing from a B.A. to a B.Sc. degree. </p>

<p>My experience at SUNY Plattsburgh has taught me a lot. I am more mature, I take full responsibility and I have a new resolve to turn things around. If given the chance to continue at SUNY Plattsburgh on academic probation, I will be certain to make the necessary changes based on the lessons that I’ve learned. First, I’ve learned what study methods and techniques are most effective for me. This will make my study time more efficient. Secondly, I will seek help sooner. Most important, I will make sure to take on a course load I can handle and follow the plan that my advisor and I worked out. Thank you for allowing me to summarize this past year, and hopefully to get another opportunity to prove I am worthy to attend SUNY Plattsburgh.</p>

22

<p>^Great revision. Thanking them in advance is a very good idea. Also, OP, do lay out a CONCRETE plan for change. For example, WHAT study habits? Time management? Did you read a book on productivity, watch a seminar, that gave you a new direction?</p>

23

<p>THe second one is MUCH better (I only got through the first hald of the first one and I really tried!). </p>

<p>I think your second letter says a lot in little space. I think its pretty clear you had great intentions but got overhwlemed. I really like what you wrote about solutions.</p>

<p>I really like Impero’s ideas about being specific and concrete about what you’ll do differently. It will sound then like more than jsut words, and give them more hope for you too. Also trying to think it through to write it out might actually be really good for you too!</p>

<p>FWIW, I’ve been on such a committee. They are usually fans of second chances, especially for first years trying to get their sea legs (but this process is nonetheless an important one). I actually didn’t find your second letter too long (academics are used to reading long winded stuff, especially from students protesting their dismissal!). And the level of detail you provided made it read very genuine. </p>

<p>I hope it works out and you should let us know! Good luck!</p>

24

<p>

This particular sentence is confusing. I think what you really wanted to say was “Unfortunately the course he recommended was still to advanced for me, and I was unable to keep up.” but seeing LimaBean’s suggestion, maybe I totally misunderstood. I don’t know what you mean by withdrawing but staying in the course. (I withdrew but continued to attend classes and labs?)Your second attempt was certainly better than the first - I just crossed my eyes and stopped reading half way through. Are you doing okay in other science courses?</p>

25

<p>^^ I think he added a remedial support course in addition to a regular chemistry course, but it started too late to help him succeed in the regular chem class.</p>

26

<p>I’m not a parent, but here are my thoughts anyway. I like your second draft a lot, as everyone else has been saying. To add on to the suggestion about putting in some concrete plans to change your study habits, I recommend you check out Cal Newport’s blog “Study Hacks”. He has some excellent articles on time management, and how to study more efficiently, and smartly. He also emphasizes that it is often not enough to just study for a longer amount of time–your frame of mind/how you approach your studying are probably more important. This seems like a lesson you learned last semester, so maybe you could include that in your solutions to the problem section? </p>

<p>Also, I found the wording of the sentence regarding the remedial chemistry class confusing…perhaps you could clarify that a bit? </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

27

<p>I thought the first version had specifics on changes in study habits that were planned, that could be put back in (concisely). I don’t think too much editing should be done by others: the versions posted by this student came from him in his own voice, and felt natural and authentic. The final version reads fine. If it is over-coached, the administration will pick up on it.</p>

<p>I also would suggest adding back in the drinking incident, and the fact that no further troubles occurred - if it is an important part of the problem in the eyes of the school.</p>

<p>I seriously question the plan for next year, if the student stays. Science courses seem to be the problem, so why focus on science and pre-med? An argument could be made that the best reason to let the student continue is that the student will stay away from sciences!</p>

<p>Many students want to go to medical school. I don’t mean to offend, but it does seem that at least some of these aspirations are the result of immaturity and lack of sophistication. Kids are taught to think of careers in these neat categories, but the world of work is so much more complicated.</p>

<p>To the student: I think you could be much happier if you dropped this false goal. Study what you like to study, and what you do well in. This appears to be humanities and possibly music. Do you like music? Are you an instrumentalist?</p>

<p>You might think that majoring in English or music is not going to help with work, but that is not true. A student I know is majoring in music and has had amazing internships with a booking agency, and with an orchestra, doing communications and marketing. Her knowledge of music, and command of language (honed in college classes) have made these positions really useful.</p>

<p>Why don’t you relax about the future for a year, and explore what your true interests are? You seem like a talented, likable person who could do well if you followed more natural goals, and didn’t try to be someone you aren’t.</p>

<p>If they don’t let you back in, you can join the millions of people doing college in other ways. Community college, continuing education, online courses, low residency programs are serving many people. If you do well, you can go back to Plattsburgh within a year.</p>

<p>Remember, there really are no disasters in life, or, should I say, every disaster also brings with it opportunity. Sounds like platitudes, but it is really true. Good luck.</p>

28

<p>Don’t post these sorts of things in public.</p>

<p>The person receiving the letter might just type a few words on google, run into this letter and then wonder why you’re asking a bunch of parents to help you edit a letter from your heart.</p>

29

<p>docarson: ^^compmom and BC are exactly right! This is YOUR letter and now that you have these suggestions, do your own thing. The reason why I edited your letter was NOT to rewrite it, per se, but to show you how to make cuts, some small and some full sentences, which helps your reader get to the core of your message. To understand it best, compare your 2nd draft to my version to understand how your writing became less efficient. Now, take these suggestions and do your own rewriting. Seems unnecessary or redundant, but your letter will have many improvements and it will be “all yours”.</p>

30

<p>Why even mention the first semester struggles when you ended up with a 3.1 gpa? I would use that more to demonstrate that you are capable of doing the work but all the details about your Chemistry class loses my interest immediately. When the end result was a decent gpa (I am talking about the first paragraph) leave it at that. Less is more. It is more important to explain the reasons for the drop in gpa and lessons you have learned but it shouldn’t be so long, they will never read through the whole thing.</p>

31

<p>On limabeans edits. Most of them were very good, but removed the exclamation point. It’s hard to find a situation where an exclamation point is appropriate.
The second draft, while less of a heaping on of excuses that don’t matter (itchy after showering, really?) does not really offer much of an explanation. Yes, you said you got overwhelmed, but the reason they want to dismiss you is that they think you can’t handle the work. Things like this generally need a legitimate explanation (not that you have one of these, but something like illness, death of a parent, being diagnosed with a LD etc) followed by a concrete plan to fix your grades in the future. The strength of the first thing can make the second obsolete. (i.e. If your mother died, they don’t need to know that you’re going to attend office hours more). Right now this letter only has these things vaguely.</p>

32

<p>Thank you all so very much. I really appreciate this. I’ll keep editing and making revisions and will re-post the latest draft tonight. My primary reason for posting this is to help pick up on any grammatical errors. I don’t really have much help in that department. School’s out, teachers aren’t checking their e-mails so I can’t really e-mail a teacher to help me with the grammar. But thanks for all the ideas and suggestions. I’ll post the edited version sometime tonight. Hopefully by Monday I can mail it in.</p>

33

<p>When you finish editing, make sure to delete your posts in this thread. As you’ve been told, someone might stumble onto your thread via google.</p>

34

<p>Way too late to delete. You only get that option for a certain amount of time.</p>

35

<p>Was just looking through the academic review letter and I thought this might be helpful for when you guys are reviewing my essay.</p>

<h2>Taken directly from the e-mail:</h2>

<p>**How the Academic Progress Committee Might Consider an Appeal:
The purpose of this academic progress review is to determine why you
have not met SUNY Plattsburgh’s minimum academic standard of a 2.0
cumulative GPA, your prospects for meeting that minimum in the future, and whether you are making timely progress toward degree completion. When reviewing appeals, the Academic Progress Committee takes into account extenuating circumstances (i.e., circumstances beyond one’s personal control). However, ultimately, the Committee will grant or deny your appeal based upon your academic history at Plattsburgh and our determination of your potential to complete your degree successfully in a timely manner. Some factors taken into consideration might be: the number of semesters you have studied at Plattsburgh; whether your cumulative GPA suddenly dropped below 2.0, bounced up and down, or steadily declined; whether your academic record indicates that you could
possibly complete your degree within four years; the disparity between
your GPA and our minimum 2.0 standard; if your GPA is just below 2.0, how many semesters it has been borderline; how many semesters your semester GPA has fallen below 2.0; and/or whether your “citizenship record” (student conduct /judicial record) portrays you as a serious student earnestly pursuing a Plattsburgh State degree. Repeating courses should help to raise your GPA above the minimum standards, thus excluding you from academic progress review. If you repeat courses and your GPA remains below 2.0 (or bounces up and down over the course of a few semesters), you are not making successful academic progress toward degree completion. In addition, please be aware that if you have repeated a course(s) at Plattsburgh, your Banner transcript is different from the transcript the Academic Progress Committee will review. The computer program that generates our transcripts revises a student’s GPA history when s/he repeats a course. For example, if, at the end of the fall 2010 semester, you earned a 1.8 cumulative GPA because you failed a
course and you subsequently repeated that course this spring, your
Banner transcript would show an adjusted fall 2010 GPA of ~2.0.
However, when the Committee considers your actual “academic history” at Plattsburgh, we convert your fall 2010 GPA back to what it actually was (1.8) at that point in time before you repeated the failed course. Please consider these perspectives when submitting your appeal. **</p>

36

<p>Background information:</p>

<p>Have completed 2 semesters so far in Plattsburgh.
Currently have 22 credits out of 30 attempted.
GPA semester 1 - 3.11 (12 credits but withdrew from a course so completed 8 of 12)
GPA semester 2 - 1.4 (18 credits earned 14 of 18)
Cumulative - 1.92 (close to the 2.0 they want so disparity is not too far)
Repeat courses - Chemistry first time - W | second time - F
Judicial record - first semester was on probation (non-academic) for alcohol</p>

<p>Based on this I don’t think my chances are too bad when compared to how they say they determine whether to accept appeals or not.</p>

37

<p>Can’t he ask a mod to delete this thread for him?</p>

38

<p>docarson, it seems to me that you were turned away from Platts. for two reasons: the alcohol incident in first semester and the drop in GPA in the second. In your revision, don’t write about what happened because that sounds like you’re making excuses and it can get too wordy. Instead, write about how you can show you’re a competent student (i.e. got 3.1 in 1st semester) and what you plan to do differently. You might also want to revisit your HS record.</p>

<p>As part of that, you might want to reconsider whether you should be a science major, due to this:

</p>

39

<p>It will be much more convincing if you say you have figured out that science is not your strength and that part of your plan is to study those subjects that you are more suited to. Not in those words, but…I mean, premed seems out of the question right now. You can always deal with that after you graduate. English majors make great doctors.</p>

<p>They would not know any details about the drinking incident, and between that and your GPA, are probably just putting you in the category of unmotivated student who drank a lot of time away rather than studying.</p>

<p>I think that you should stay focused on dispelling that, but watch out for the excuses such as inadequate preparation, for instance, which will only support the notion that you cannot do the work.</p>

<p>You are absolutely right that the GPA from first semester shows you can do the work. Explain briefly why the 2nd semester didn’t go well (and it was not related to drinking, right?).</p>

<p>I hate to say it, and again, I don’t mean to be mean, but if you cannot write your own essay, and need editing for grammar from others, maybe you are not ready for the work. Besides, a letter with a few grammatical errors is authentic, and a letter proofread by a bunch of strangers online is not.</p>

<p>If your appeal does not work out, it is not the end of the world. They will let you come back after you take a few courses elsewhere, or work, and mature. And there are many other places, and many other ways to get a degree, and even ways to work without one.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

40

<p>Okay guys. I have finally finished it. From all the advice that was given me earlier on, I’ve decided I will NOT post the essay here. Instead, I will individually, send every participant ('cept myself) of this thread a private message with the new draft attached. Does that sound good to y’all? </p>

<p>Thanks to everyone. I really appreciate this. God bless you all. You don’t know how much this means to me that you took your precious time to do this.</p>

<p>Some info:
“D” (decision) day = Thursday, June 16, 2011 4:00 P.M. EST deadline
Letter due date = Friday, June 10, 2011 4:00 P.M. EST deadline</p>

<h2>I’ll make sure to keep you all up to date on how it ends.</h2>

<p>Questions:</p>

<p>[1] They mention I should include address, phone, student ID # and such. Would that go in the top right hand corner of the letter? </p>

<p>[2] I plan on e-mailing my letter. How will I sign it or put my signature on it? This is due next Friday, do you think sending it Monday is too early and will look like I rushed it? Would it be a better idea to send it on Wednesday instead?</p>

<p>Thanks once again. 8-)</p>