<p>so theres this girl whom i haven't ever talked to since gr 9 and I've only recently started talking to her. SHe has the same spare with me and I know I plan to overthink these things, so i went with the nike motto. </p>
<p>i asked her to prom after getting her in a really good mood, she said yes immediately and was really happy about it! Gave her a stuffed animal, she was really really happy, hugged me and stuff.</p>
<p>then she sends me this after school on facebook:</p>
<p>Hey, so here's the thing. Your promposal kinda came out of the blue, and we were just starting to be friends. I didn't want to mess up our friendship so i said yes. I don't want things to be awkward, but I just need a bit of time to think about going as your date, because it's still really early before prom. Is that okay with you?</p>
<p>WTF WHERE IS THIE LOGIC HERE!</p>
<p>Completely lost right now...I don't get how girls think...
This is getting ridiculous. I've asked three girls so far, the first one I worked with and she cried when I promposed to her but said someone else had asked her only HOURS before (apparently, I've been told by a girl friend of mine she likes me but the way she acts around me says otherwise) and the second time, the girl couldn't make a decision for forty minutes...</p>
<p>What the hell would I do here? Would I even message her back?</p>
<p>this is a girl forum?</p>
<p>First, your experience with one girl doesn’t allow you to make any conclusions about “how girls think” in general. </p>
<p>Just offhand, I don’t think any of these girls want to go with you, and they’re all just trying to avoid hurting your feelings. In my (very, very, very, limited :() experience, being romantically involved with someone you like is a vast improvement on whatever friendship you had with them before. When someone says they don’t want to be with you because it would mess up the friendship, they’re really just saying they do not like you, Sam-I-Am. </p>
<p>More optimistically, she’s waiting around to see if someone better asks. </p>
<p>@Mandophon - You’re questioning the logic of a girl who puts a lot of weight on Prom - most girls who are apathetic at best about prom wouldn’t be giving you this grief. Her rationale is pretty weak; who you go to prom with shouldn’t be a matter of national security, “a bit of time to think” - is she meditating on whether or not she should invade Russia? If the girl doesn’t give you a resounding (and absolute) yes, forget about her. </p>
<p>@ preamble1776 </p>
<p>lol but she did give me an absolute resounding yes. I asked and she didn’t even think, she just went yes, hugged me and played with the stuffed animal as I walke to her locker. She sat it down real gently and said, “I have to get you a flower pin!” and i told her “Ya I have to get you a coursage.” </p>
<p>lol it was a resounding absolute yes…until she msged me so i have no idea now. Shes hot, then she cold. and she’s not pulling strings, she’s not the type of girl that does that, I know that much. </p>
<p>@halcyonheather</p>
<p>I see what you mean, as blunt as that is, I’ve accepted that as a possible, albeit not the only resaonable answer in my given situation! </p>
<p>Have to remain optimistic right guys?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>…she’s yes, then she’s no? </p>
<p>@Mandophon - Even if it was <em>initially</em> resounding and absolute; if she changes her mind, it is neither absolute nor is it resounding. Find someone else. Someone who won’t change their mind so easily (preferably at all.) </p>
<p>@halcyonheather</p>
<p>in fact, I know exactly what you mean when you say, “When someone says they don’t want to be with you because it would mess up the friendship, they’re really just saying they do not like you,”</p>
<p>I actually had that happen with someone else. She said yes, but I could tell it was under that mentality. In this particular case, she did not hesitate to say yes so tbh, I don’t think this is the case…if anything, I think she thinks she was getting too exciting and wants to take a step back and reassess the situation.</p>
<p>@preamble1776</p>
<p>lol I’ve gone too slow with every other girl and the first time I go fast, I hit a wall :P</p>
<p>Lol. Is this really that difficult of a situation to resolve? Just wait for the girl’s response. That gives you two options:</p>
<ul>
<li>If she says yes, then SUCCESS. Go with her to prom, have fun, enjoy the night.</li>
<li>If she says no, it’s still no big deal. Here’s what you do: ask an underclass[wo]man. They’re always psyched to go to prom because of the social advantage it gives them (prom feels like it’s exclusive to seniors, which it sort of is). Your highest probability of success lies with this option.</li>
</ul>
<p>Each path ends with you getting a prom date. :D</p>
<p>@rmjmdr97</p>
<p>Thats actually true! Out of the three times I asked girls, two times I was too slow, this time I was too fast. So I have to get to know an 11th grader first…and then ask…</p>
<p>Honestly, as a girl here, we don’t even understand how we think.
I believe she’s telling you the truth. I’m not speaking for all girls here, but personally, when guys put me on the spot like that, I can’t think. I think she blurted out the “yes” since it was a public place and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Quite possibly, there’s another guy she wants to be asked to prom by and doesn’t want to be taken so soon. I’m sorry we’re such an awful gender to deal with but you still have a few months! Like someone said earlier, try asking an underclassman if this doesn’t work out. :)</p>
<p>@picuberoot </p>
<p>UPDATE</p>
<hr>
<p>Today after work, I left with the girl and literally things were very awkward between the two of us. I asked what she was going to do over March break and she said she was going up to her cottage. The only real thing we can talk about is school work and that’s literally boring as hell!</p>
<p>I’ve been told she likes me by a girl friend of mine. And after today, two people (one is the girl friend, another is a co worker) have told me that she doesn’t want to go to prom anymore cause she only likes the guy she’s going with as a friend…</p>
<p>It’s march break now so I don’t see her until at least next next Monday…Would it be suitable to ask her to prom then…or not? My gut feeling says give her time and space, then casually bring up prom and go from there. She’s a co worker as well.</p>
<p>THe other option is to start talking to another 11th grader. She and I used to do volunteer work together. To avoid the same problem with my third promposal where the girl didn’t know me well enough. I could text her over the break, before asking her…but I’d prefer to go with the co-worker.</p>
<p>Suggestions?</p>
<p>LOL, if I were that girl, I would be HAPPY that someone actually asked me. Honestly, I don’t understand what the deal is about WHO your prom date is. What’s wrong with going as friends?</p>
<p>I would wait. What if Girl 1 randomly decides to say yes and Girl 2 said yes too? That would be quite a pickle to be in.</p>
<p>@AnImpAffliction</p>
<p>honestly, at this point in time, I’d much rather have to decide between two girls lol. But I would go with the first girl, hence why I asked her first right?</p>
<p>Here’s another issue of mine that I’, starting to get really frustrated about. I’m usually a really sociable guy. I can talk to people with no problems whatsoever. Whether it be girl or guy. But whenever it comes to a girl that I actually like, my mind shuts down…Any suggestions on how to get out of this habit???</p>
<p>@halcyonheather - Laughed way too hard at that irony.</p>
<p>I hate to say it bro, but just go with your “safety” girl if you know what I mean.</p>
<p>Coming from a girl:
She wants to like you, and wants to go to prom, most likely. She is probably thrilled and flattered, and likely has a crush on you. However, she’s just confused. She needs to make sure she likes you and that she isn’t just doing this because you like her.</p>
<p>She isn’t attracted to you. </p>
<p>I’m a little confused…Is it your coworker that doesn’t want to go to prom anymore or you friend?</p>
<p>@louie412</p>
<p>So from a girls perceptive, would it be weird or even worth it to ask Kate to prom AGAIN?
Let me put it this way. You get asked to prom by a guy you value as a friend. Hours later the guy you have a crush on and has a crush on you asks you to prom in a more romantic way. You say no tearfully but ask him out later. He said no, it’d be too forced given what’s happened. He then asks you out but you say yes confusingly and he doesn’t follow up. </p>
<p>At this point, you don’t want to go with the guy that you are current;y going with because you only see him as a friend and you are conflicted with the other guy whom you like!</p>
<p>(I’m trying to change my situation here. That’s basically what’s happened between me and her)</p>
<p>@picuberoot</p>
<p>My co worker Kate doesn’t want to go to prom anymore because the guy she is going with is only a friend to her. Now what I am asking is would it be a dick move or even worth it to ask Kate AGAIN to prom? (flowers again etc) </p>
<p>I say don’t go for it. As of now, I don’t think it’s definite that her and the guy that asked her to prom before you aren’t going anymore. Even if they’re done, I can almost be certain that she’ll either 1) reject you because she’ll feel bad for her friend or 2) say “yes” but be uncomfortable about going because she’ll feel bad for her friend.
Also, I don’t think you want to stir up trouble between you and the other guy. </p>