I don't know what I want in a college...

College Search & Selection
1

<p>I really don't know what I want in a college. I don't know if i want it to be in an urban or rural or subarban area, i dont know how big i want it to be, I dont know how many students i want there to be, i really don't know. This is because I'm afraid that if I choose, for example, a big school, and end up unhappy, I'll regret not chooseing a small school or if i end up going to a small schooll and end up unhappy, i'll regret not choosing a big school.
I don't know if i want to be in a small school or a large school because i've had bad experiences in being in both a small and large school. </p>

<p>I realy don't know what kind of school I want.. if the school was in a big city, i'm afraid it would get too crowded and then i'd yearn for open space and grass.... and i'm afraid if i go to somewhere subarban or rural, I might be dying for the city... I was born in NYC, and i also lived in the subarbarbs of Maryland... I really ddon't know what I want because I'm afraid that if i make the wrong decision, I'll regret it for life. I don't know what I really want. Growing up moving 4 times living in so many different environments, I really don't know what I want. Each time I was pretty unhappy. I live in Paris, France right now and I hate it. I lived in Maryland and i thught it was boring. I'm afraid that being in a big school, I won't be able to make close friends because there would be so many people, but if i went to a small school, i wouldn't fit in with anyone. this already hapened to me in both situations.. i'm so scared</p>

<p>where the f*** should i go?! I'm scared that I will go to college and end up being a loner/failure/unhappy because Ive had such a lonely high school life and i hear people saying college isn't any better because it's harder to meet people. I just want to be happy for once in my life.. I want to go to school and have an awesome college experience. I'm so depressed now and I'm so excited to go to college hoping to be happier but i'm afraid to end up going to a school where i'm still depressed.. i sjut want to be happy</p>

2

<p>You should apply to a variety of places because you may still be comparing when you have been accepted to a few. It would be really helpful if you could do overnights at a few somewhat different schools because being there for two days is the best way to get a sense of things. Spending the night at one rural LAC will help you to get a sense of all of them and help refine your thinking. One urban university would also be helpful. Oberlin, Carnegie Mellon and others have overnight programs for prospective applicants.</p>

3

<p>Excellent advice by hitch. You might consider schools close to, but not in, major cities–Drew; Goucher; Brandeis; American; St. Josephs; Ursinus; etc</p>

4

<p>Yes, visit if you can.</p>

<p>Two points:

  • even if you choose a small LAC it’s likely going to be larger or the same size as the “big” schools you attended in the states. Most LACs are between 1000-2500 students.
  • you do, to some degree, have the power to decide your own college experience. If you feel that you are lonely and disconnected, reach out. Talk to people, start conversations. If you don’t fit in, work harder to find your niche (probably easier at a large school, btw) or create it. I think that too often shy kids–and I include myself in this–sit on the sidelines and hope that someone will come around and pull them along. It doesn’t work like that. If you want an awesome college experience, make it happen. Bottom line.</p>
5

<p>For the unsure, I generally think that big public schools are the safest bet. You might want to try to leave NY too and try something new. Changing your environment might reset your personality into something you like better, which’ll help the social issues.</p>

<p>I don’t know how good your grades were, but lets say that a school like Ohio State University would provide you a huge pool of potential friends and a totally different atmosphere from HS.</p>

<p>Also, I disagree with the notion that it’s harder to meet people in college than HS. Not true for high schools in new york lol.</p>

<p>Whatever you do, don’t go to Stony Brook if you want to be happy. I know that sounds harsh, but seriously. I learned the hard way.</p>

6

<p>Ok…we can help you figure this out… :)</p>

<p>What is your likely major and likely career?</p>

<p>Are you male or female?</p>

<p>Are you more of a…
“party on the weekend” kind of person?
“let’s play video games” kind of person?
“let’s go for a hike” kind of person?
“let’s go snow-boarding” kind of person?
“let’s stay in and read or watch a movie” kind of person?
“let’s go to watch the (sports) game” kind of person?
“let’s go to the library and study” kind of person?</p>

<p>Would you join a frat or sorority?</p>

7

<p>^ mom2collegekids has a good post w/ good suggestions. Describe what makes you happiest- are you happiest being alone or in a small group in a calm, peaceful setting or are you very social and outgoing and like being surrounded by people? What are your academic interests- do you like traditional memorization-type study or more experimental, creative methods (essays, discussion, etc.)? Even more than what size of city you like, what environment do you like? do you like more fast paced and unrelenting like NYC or laid back (i have a feeling the former from what you said about the places you’ve lived)? You did tell us one thing, however- you seem to be unhappy with both very small and very bustling situations. Maybe a medium size school with a more socially diverse group in a moderately sized area would be ideal? maybe look into University of Rochester, Puget Sound, Tufts, Boston College, UChicago, etc. </p>

<p>I’m very sorry about your moving situation as well. Don’t blame yourself for being lonely or negative- many, if not most high school age students feel that way. It’s just a very emotional time, and I’m sure not having as stable a situation didn’t help anything either. But most people I know who chose the right college from all different backgrounds (whether they were social or quiet in high school, what socioeconomic or political background, what race, etc.) are enjoying college thoroughly. Good luck!</p>

8

<p>mom2collegekids, idon’t know what i really want. sometimes i feel like i do certain things without really wanting to do them but i try so hard to find what i really want and who i am that i try to try everything but its like its not really me thats trying them… i’m physically doing it but psychologically my mind isn’t there. it’s just waiting for something to click</p>

<p>well I didn’t attend high school in new york- i go to an international school full of rich kids</p>

9

<p>With this much indecision, sounds like you could use a gap year to think things through a bit more. Read The Gap Year Advantage. It sounds to me like you are setting yourself up for failure and disapointment if you choose to go somewhere just to be in school without knowing what you want to get out of it.</p>

<p>Normally, I think LACs are great for someone who really wants/values social connections, but you have to know what kind of educational experience you want and what kind of environment suits you. LACs have strong personalities and the wrong one could be a bad fit. Hence the suggestion to take some time off to figure this out.</p>

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<p>What do you do with your free time?</p>

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<p>I don’t know what i really want. sometimes i feel like i do certain things without really wanting to do them but i try so hard to find what i really want and who i am that i try to try everything but its like its not really me thats trying them.</p>

<p>I don’t think a gap year is recommended and this is why… :)</p>

<p>I think you’re having what I call “situational depression.” (I’m not a therapist, but I am a mom…LOL ) I think when people have some things happen to them that they’ve had no control about, they get very sad and depressed. They find themselves just “going thru the motions” of the day…just getting thru the day. In your case, you’ve been forced to move a lot, including moving to a foreign country. It’s probably been very difficult for you to make meaningful friendships. Perhaps your parents haven’t been too sympathetic because they expect you just to “go with the flow.”</p>

<p>I think a gap year would just further this situation, because you wouldn’t have a great plan of your own that would be fulfilling. </p>

<p>So…let’s get back to finding the right college for YOU!!! :)</p>

<p>Are you a boy or girl?</p>

<p>What is your likely major?</p>

<p>What are your favorite school subjects?</p>

<p>Do you have a career in mind?</p>

<p>Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy doing? Tennis? Soccer? </p>

<p>Would you have any interest in participating in intramural sports on campus?</p>

<p>What kind of kids do you like to be friends with? Quiet? Funny? Athletic?</p>

12

<p>Try and answer these questions:</p>

<p>What do you like about your current school?</p>

<p>What do you dislike about it?</p>

<p>What have been your 3 favorite classes. Forget about the teacher, which 3 subjects did you most enjoy or at least find intriguing?</p>

<p>Do you like having easy access to clothes shopping or restaurants?</p>

<p>Does winter drive you crazy or do you like the change of seasons?</p>

<p>Would you prefer to have a class size of 20 or 200?</p>

<p>Describe your perfect weekend. </p>

<p>What website do you have as your homepage on your computer?</p>

<p>Your parents chose your last school and now you get the opportunity to provide major input on your college…we want to help you make it an exciting process not a stressful one!</p>

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<p>What’s an LAC?</p>

<p>I could answer these questions but I don’t know if it’ll be what I really feel…</p>

<p>Are you a boy or girl? girl</p>

<p>What is your likely major? something science-y i guess…cuz i hate humanities stuff because i suck at them. math is intimidating. psych is interesting too, but i don’t wanna be a psychologist because then i’d have to get a phD.</p>

<p>What are your favorite school subjects? i don’t know. i guess psych is interesting… but something i think it’s only because i have psychological problems so i want to know more about what’s wrong with me…</p>

<p>Do you have a career in mind? no</p>

<p>Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy doing? Tennis? Soccer?
um… I like badminton and ping pong… but i haven’t played in like… years…no chance to play it/no one to play with </p>

<p>Would you have any interest in participating in intramural sports on campus? no
not good enough</p>

<p>What kind of kids do you like to be friends with? Quiet? Funny? Athletic?
theres not really one particular type of person… i just like being friends with whoever i like that comes along… but i like to laugh. so i guess funny people. i’m quiet, but when i’m with quiet people, it gets really boring and if i dont know them, i HAVE to talk because then it woudl be so awkward. i like it when people approach me because i SUCK at approaching people because i always screw up and people get bad impressions of me. </p>

<p>What do you like about your current school? it has good facilities… since it’s like so expensive… and i like how the teachers actually care about the students since there aren’t many students</p>

<p>What do you dislike about it?
the people. rich spoiled brats. making me feel like no one because i’m like the only asian there. I hate how everyone is so outgoing and that i’m probably the only loner here. i hate how everyone is so worried about their outward appearance . i hate how all the guys don’t talk to me because i’m not hot enough or because i dont wear make up, jewelry, or wear pretty/expensive clothes. I don’t even have an interest in guys anymore because now just looking at one turns me off because i know they laugh at me.
I hate how my school is small… it makes me feel like everyone is watching me. but then again i wouldn’t like big schools because then everytime i go somewhere, i would see a stranger, and i always feel like i give bad impressions. i hate being the only different one… i hate how everything is materialistic.</p>

<p>What have been your 3 favorite classes. Forget about the teacher, which 3 subjects did you most enjoy or at least find intriguing? i like chemistry, psych, and… idk. i suck at english and i suck at bio (even though i LOVED it last year. maybe it’s my teacher that makes me hate it)</p>

<p>Do you like having easy access to clothes shopping or restaurants?
i don’t care.</p>

<p>Does winter drive you crazy or do you like the change of seasons?
i don’t care</p>

<p>Would you prefer to have a class size of 20 or 200?
i don’t know. my classes now are like 15 students per class… it makes me uncomfortable because theres more attention on me and i’m pressured to participate… i guess i’d like classes with like a little more students… maybe like >30</p>

<p>Describe your perfect weekend.
relaxing; watching tv and eating as much as i want. maybe with a friend.</p>

<p>What website do you have as your homepage on your computer?
yahoo mail</p>

14

<p>oh and i want to add the fact that i know i make my school sound like its full of mean people and i’m not just assuming they’re like that. I’ve tried to talk to people sometimes and they give me this look or they ignore me or never talk to me again.</p>

<p>ever since i got to this school, i started stuttering. it’s really weird. isntead of just worrying about my outward appearance, now i can’t even speak properly. how f***ed up is that?</p>

<p>and also, my parents are really pressuring me to go to a “good, well known university/college”. The problem is that i’m really afraid that these good wellknown colleges are full of well-rounded people who are outgoing and meet people really easily because they have a strong idea of their identity… I don’t want to me the only one going there still going through my teenage years in trying to find what kind of personality i have instead of trying to find out what i want to do like everyone else…</p>

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<p>An LAC is a “Liberal Arts College” - they tend to be smaller…like 1200-4000 students.</p>

<p>:) You may think that your answers won’t reveal much, but they do…Let’s summarize… :)</p>

<p>girl - Asian</p>

<p>likely major? something science-y…i hate humanities… math is intimidating. </p>

<p>psych is interesting too, but i don’t wanna be a psychologist because then i’d have to get a phD.</p>

<p>I like badminton and ping pong…</p>

<p>i like to laugh. so i guess funny people. i’m quiet, </p>

<p>i SUCK at approaching people </p>

<p>What do you like about your current school? it has good facilities…</p>

<p>i like how the teachers actually care about the students since there aren’t many students</p>

<p>What do you dislike about it? Rich spoiled brats. making me feel like no one because i’m like the only asian there.</p>

<p>i hate how everyone is so worried about their outward appearance . </p>

<p>i hate how all the guys don’t talk to me because i’m not hot enough or because i dont wear make up, jewelry, or wear pretty/expensive clothes.</p>

<p>I hate how my school is small…</p>

<p>i wouldn’t like big schools because then everytime i go somewhere, i would see a stranger, </p>

<p>i hate how everything is materialistic.</p>

<p>i like chemistry, psych, and… idk. i suck at english and i suck at bio (even though i LOVED it last year. maybe it’s my teacher that makes me hate it)</p>

<p>my classes now are like 15 students per class… i guess i’d like classes with like a little more students… maybe like >30</p>

<p>relaxing; watching tv and eating as much as i want. maybe with a friend.</p>

<p>if the school was in a big city, i’m afraid it would get too crowded and then i’d yearn for open space and grass… and i’m afraid if i go to somewhere subarban or rural, I might be dying for the city…</p>

<hr>

<p>Well…I think a school with more Asian kids would be a good place to start!!! :)</p>

<p>Interest in science…How about nursing? </p>

<p>I think a school that has about 5,000-7,000 students might be good for you…I’d suggest schools like Loyola Marymount (13% Asian) or University of San Francisco (23% Asian), but you said you don’t like big cities…hmmmmm…</p>

<p>Those schools are big enough that you won’t feel like you’re under a microscope, there are other Asian kids there so you won’t feel different, but it’s not so large that you won’t walk around and see kids that you know. :)</p>

<p>They are also located in wonderful cities, so a lot to do…but you don’t like big cities…</p>

<p>I can see you going to a school that has a strong “Week of Welcome” program the week before school starts and/or has some kind of activity that kids can do the week before school starts. Some colleges offer these “ice breaker” options for kids to make new friends, etc, before the hectic week of school starting. Hopefully, someone reading this can suggest some schools with these “before school starts” programs.</p>

<p>There are many schools in Calif that have a good population of Asian students. </p>

<p>Now…we also need to know your stats…GPA…SAT…ACT…</p>

<p>Also, have your parents told you how much they’ll spend on your college education? Is money no object or will they only spend a certain amount. If you don’t know, ask! :)</p>

<p>*
ever since i got to this school, i started stuttering.*</p>

<p>That definitely sounds like…you’re nervous, scared, and insecure. Try thinking about what you’re going to say before you say it. My sister had this happen in her teens. She had to slow down, think about what she was going to say, and then say it. :)</p>

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<p>nursing…well i don’t like handling people and blood… (ew)</p>

<p>yeah i want a school with asian kids. however, i don’t want to go to school in the west coast; i want to stay in the east coast… since my parents and i know more people there.</p>

<p>I think Hitch123’s idea about spending a night in some schools would really help a lot so I’d know wht the college environment is.</p>

<p>I said i don’t like big cities, but I really don’t know. Maybe i do. maybe i just hate france because i hate french people… lol</p>

<p>My parents didn’t tell me exactly how much tey would spend on my college education, but I know they really want me to go to Mcgill U in canada because it’s really cheap… or maybe they’re just cheap parents who are obsessed with money.</p>

<p>here is my background and stats:
I’m a junior and i will be applying from overseas… though i have residency in NYC. Here are my stats:</p>

<p>Freshman year:
GPA: 3.6 (unweighted)</p>

<p>Sophomore year:
GPA: I don’t remember unweighted but 3.6 (weighted).
EC’s: Model United Nations (attended a conference in Italy), Green Team, Kenya Club</p>

<p>Junior year: first semester: (I’m doing the IB diploma)
GPA: 3.3 (unweighted), 3.7(weighted) - yes, it’s pretty low, but the IB is really hard.
Predicted IB score: I don’t know yet but i know it’s at least a 32
EC’s: Secretary of HCMC Kids (a community service club), Founder of the Badminton Club, Green Team (hoping to be Pres. next year), Model united nations (attended a conference in December in Paris)
Rank: i think around top 20-25%? not sure.
race: asian</p>

<p>ACT’s: hopefully at least a 29 (i did my First practice ACt test and got a 26; taking an ACT prep course soon)</p>

<p>Work experience: Last summer, i worked in Syria for the American Embassy. (paid job)
Volunteering: this summer, i will be volunteering for the UN in Syria.</p>

<p>I made a list of schools that i know my parents want me to go to, though i personally don’t know if i want to go to them or not. but anyway. i need to go to a good school (they want me to go to at least one of the top 30 schools) but of course since my grades aren’t that great, I dont even know if ill meet my parents’ expectations. anyway, I personally don’t know if i want to go to them because i don’t know what the college life environment is. </p>

<p>NYU
Mcgill
Vassar
Boston U
Wellesley
Boston College
Cornell
UVA
Brown
University of Rochester
Barnard
Carnegie Mellon
GW</p>

<p>I dont know what else…</p>

<p>are there any schools you would recommend for science and has lots of asian kids and isn’t too smal or big and is wellknown?? lolol</p>

17

<p>Where did your parents go to college? Are they proud alums?
Do you have any siblings, cousins, good family friends currently in college- you could go visit them if possible to get a feel of a university campus.
Fears can motivate or stifle you…you have to decide whether you will let fears dictate to direction of your life.
Having an awesome life takes effort and the right attitude.</p>

18

<p>my dad went to St. John’s University in new york, but he doesnt want me to go there.
no siblings. no cousins or good family friends that are currently in college… :(</p>

<p>everytime i tried to face my fears, it turned out badly. what if i chose a college and it ended up being the wrong college for me?</p>

19

<p>Do you have problems making decisions, always second guessing yourself?
Have more self confidence that you will make the best choice possible.
Research, research, research each school rather that soliciting opinions from strangers.
Take the SATs, if you haven’t, the results will weed out some schools.
Talk to your parents about how much money they will spend on your UG education.
Your emotional insecurities will be with you at any school if you don’t get a grip.</p>

20

<p>to the OP … I understand your situation … when I applied to schools I ended up with a pretty short list because I only applied to schools that had all of a big set of possibilities (because I couldn’t decide a head of time).</p>

<p>One of things I learned professionally is that when people are indecisive they often know more about their preferences than they think they do … often they are sure about some things they don’t want. BTW - I also agree some campus visits would be helpful to help you hone in on your preferences.</p>

<p>So when I picked schools I started with things I did not want …</p>

<ul>
<li><p>I did not want to go to a school with a heavy emphasis on religion</p></li>
<li><p>I did not want to go to a school that did not have all 4 seasons</p></li>
<li><p>I did not want to go to a school that did not have engineering or phyics or computer science or math or architecture as an option (I was far from sure what I wanted to do but given these leading candidates there actually were very few schools that had all my options)</p></li>
<li><p>Etc</p></li>
</ul>

<p>I’d suggest you think about what you do not want … there are 3000 schools in the US and some simple choices (for me, I want 4 seasons for example) can really cut the list down dramatically. </p>

<p>One other suggestion … I wouldn’t worry so much about this decision … there is not one perfect school and all other schools will make you miserable … it’s more like there are 25 schools that would be terrific for any student and another 100 that would be excellent … there are tons of good options for each student … your decision does not need to be perfect; jusr pretty good. And better yet it is not permanent … if your intitial choice doesn’t work out you can always transfer … this is not a life or death decision … learn a lot; trust your instincts; and give it a go.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>