<p>To the OP: How do you feel about military service as an alternative to going to college right now?</p>
<p>It’s a good choice for some people, and if you’re 18, it does not require your parents’ consent.</p>
<p>You don’t have to go to college, OP.</p>
<p>It’s really not that important now that I see it from your point of view. </p>
<p>No, really. I’m not even saying any of this to get an emotional response. I just thought that since I had spent all this time and effort putting you through high school that you might seize on the opportunity. </p>
<p>I know that your father and your grandfather never had this opportunity even though they prayed and dreamed of what they could have become. I know that I never had this kind of opportunity. </p>
<p>But one person’s opportunity is another person’s labor, obviously.</p>
<p>No, really, don’t bother concerning yourself over any of that. </p>
<p>I would have just as well spent all that time and effort that I spent working to support you and wasted it instead on things to busy myself with like a vacation or a few less days at work. Or maybe a small piece of jewelry every now and then. These are trivial things, really. Or maybe a new pair of shoes once a year.</p>
<p>But you don’t have to think about any of those things. Times are so different these days. People have their own priorities. I’m sure these newer mothers would never worry about their children like I do so obsessively and with such intensity. I guess I’m just abnormal and should really get help about it. </p>
<p>But I know you have all these things in your life and shouldn’t waste any time thinking about me.</p>
<p>So, really, don’t worry about me or your father. It’s you that matters. You know your father and I would do anything that makes you happy. </p>
<p>It won’t be long before we get old and invalid. At least we’ll be left with the knowledge that you’ll be happy and we won’t have to worry about how things turned out for you.</p>
<p>I don’t think most parents would share your views, PolarBearvsShark.</p>
<p>I know that I certainly don’t.</p>
<p>My husband and I lived frugally to save money so that our kids could go to any college they wanted. One of our kids chose our state university – a very appropriate choice for him and one that cost far less than we had expected to spend for his college education. It never occurred to us to say “You’re being selfish by making that choice. We went without a lot of things to give you the opportunity to go to a more expensive college.” Why would we say something like that when he had made a choice that was a good one for him?</p>
<p>Similarly, if it’s more appropriate for the OP to go to community college rather than enrolling at New Paltz, why should the parents object to the “wasted opportunity”?</p>
<p>PolarBearVsShark: I hear where you’re coming from. It’s like we pin our hopes and dreams on our kids and to take advantage of all the great opportunities you worked so hard to give them. Sometimes, your kids don’t appreciate the opportunities like you do, but that doesn’t mean all is lost. I definitely can relate to you, but try and I tell myself also, to not make your kid feel guilty for his decisions. I would encourage him to try it out for a term, and if it really doesn’t work out, go into community college. It’s not they’re not going to college at all… which is worse, in my opinion. </p>
<p>I feel your anguish and it made me tear up, but then I read your last paragraph and it was so blatantly guilt inducing… invalid? I feel your fears, but try not to impose them on your kid. He/ she’s doing the best he/she can. Things could be alot worse. good luck and think good thoughts.</p>
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<p>Except, of course, give up our dreams instead of forcing you to share them.</p>