@TheGFG, #234:
Yes, it is the culture of the duplicitous, and the rampant unscrupulousness instilled in the student (and by extension, other like-minded students) by the parents which the OP rails against and feels shafted by.
@Blossom,
I am guessing you are talking about your personal example where a bunch of nosy neighbors and gossips engaged in a smear campaign while the investigation was going on. We are all in agreement- that is not appropriate. But I also applaud @GoNoles85 post #235 for providing examples of situations where bringing a bad situation to light helps others. Of course there is a huge difference between resume padding and the debacle with the VA scheduling, and between Enron and a friendâs nuisance nosy neighbor who keeps calling the county about many peopleâs potential code violations on their property in the area.
And @austinmshauri , kudos to you for doing your best to try to address the unethical stuff in your troop, and trying to get that inappropriate conduct snooping thing addressed. That sounds really creepy.
The bottom line here, and it sounds like most are on the same page about it-- there is a big difference between having a suspicion that something might be askew, exaggerated, embellished or outright dishonest, but without hard evidence its best to err on the side of caution. But if there is clear, documented supportable evidence of wrongdoing, then turning oneâs head and saying they donât want to get involved may be tacitly condoning it.
I had a situation that fortunately I didnât have to address, but it really fried my cookies. A person I know told me that her child was âtoo busyâ to write the essay for a scholarship (that was a full tuition scholarship) at a school he was applying to, so she wrote it for him. Now what makes it worse is that she knew about that scholarship because it happened to be the one my child applied for and was awarded (and accepted) at that school. Her son didnât win that scholarship (and attended a different school) so it was a non-issue, but if he had, I am not sure what if anything I would have done. Awkward situation. Is it the worst crime in the world? No. But to flat out tell me that in an almost bragging way, with the full expectation that they would win the scholarship was a lot to stomach.
Some of these examples remind me a bit of John Stosselâs exposeâs on his segment called âGive me a Breakâ. Anyone remember those? I loved them.
OK I did more digging and here what I found. They have 4 girls each in a different grades. So one just completed 12th and next one is in the 11th and 10th and 9th. So this become a charity mill where every year a new shiny product will be packaged and will be sent to college .
It also 501 ©(3) organization. To be fair they do one event a year to collect the money however majority of the source of the income comes from these 4 parents. They have expense to charity ratio 1:3. They do transfer money to foreign country. But I also heard about this foreign country charities who gives you money back after taking 10% âfeeâ so I am betting this happening too (I donât have a proof to prove this of course)
I am really surprised and amazed the response of this thread. Thank you so much!
Sad thing is that people will stop believing a legit EC /Charity when things like this happens more often.
My daughter and I are at happy place and no regret whatsoever path we have chosen and I still believe in goodness and kindness will go long way over the cheating and lying that becoming a norm.
God Bless of all of you and Keep doing the right thing with your kids and at the end integrity counts âŠ
Scouting is generally good but really depends on the troop and leaders. I donât mean to ruffle anyone, but some projects can isolate the kid from deeper community issues.
Eastcoastcrazyâs comment resonates with me: parents who âwouldnât think of letting their kids participate in ongoing local projects of real value.â This is where some mission trips can fail; they seem like a big thing, so eye opening, but are one shot deals. Most local community service where you roll up your sleeves and dig in poses no threat to kids. Usually eye opening and there can be some fulfillment.
Btw, on my kidsâ trips they did hammer and nail work, both were long hours, sincere work, and found the interactions with those they helped delightful. I think one cost 125 and the other, the kids raised all the money. All we had to do was buy them hammers and etc.
@LIsaNCState - we had a situation at the end of my Dâs senior year where unethical behavior by another family ruined our longstanding, very close friendship. It was an incredibly painful time- and frankly, it still hurts 2 years later. I certainly understand the sense of betrayal you have described - but I can tell you from experience that you will always be glad you did the RIGHT thing rather thank took an easy path.
So where is the fraud Lisa? They raise money and give out the money or the goods they purchases or collected. Again, most small charities are not raising a lot of money or doing a lot of good. The colleges certainly see this for what it is. You also have no knowledge of whether the applicant wrote that SHE started the charity or wrote about her familyâs charity. Since it is a 501©3 organization, there is some bookkeeping involved. They have to file some forms with the IRS each year. Sounds less and less like a betrayal to me.
Glad you and your daughter are in a happy placed with her acceptances.
I think schools should make it easier for kids to volunteer in a meaningful way by providing busing or programs that kids could participate in without parental involvement. Perhaps a rotating group so that athletes can skip during their season and more kids can participate. Otherwise, it is not always easy to find a well-run, meaningful experience that is accessible and that a kid can participate in while doing other time consuming activities.
One of my kids did a camping/trail building project which was a lot of work, but we looked at it as a camp experience, not a resume building service project. Service doesnât always have to be about serving the poor, it can be about serving the public or improving the planet.
@mom2and - Charity âraisedâ 20K and if she doesnât write about this then I have a bridge to sell you. ( I will never be privy to her application so its all speculation )
Oh my gawdâŠI wonder if OP regrets the beast she unleashed. 
I believe she wrote about it, but question the details of how she explained it. Even if she raised all of the money from family, not sure that rises to the level of fraud (again, depending on how she explained it).
I was annoyed when our middle school touted the achievements of the student council for raising money for a charity when in fact the money was all donations from parents via a letter sent home in the beginning of the year packet. The kids did nothing for it - no car wash or candy selling or anything. I think they picked the charity. I wouldnât call it fraud, but not quite right either.
so it goesâŠ
@LisaNCState But perhaps she didnât write about it. Adcoms and GCâs say all the time NOT to write about service trips as it can be very cliche. And top schools especially would be on the lookout for this. They are looking for something more interesting. Donât let this speculation gnaw at you.
I think it is great that the OPâs daughterâs classmate participated in a charity that raised $20k. Wouldnât God be pleased?
OP, I think you need to stop focusing on trying to find fault with other people.
@eastcoastcrazy, #220:
I understand your general point about the Habitat trip and the wasted resources which could have been funneled to actual workers in the area, and the suspected placement of a Habitat-associated service mention on the college applications the girls (may/did) file, but just want to say one thing about the manicure thing.
My daughter, a junior in HS, has spent weekends this year visiting residents at a nursing home where she and her classmates talk with the ladies, give them facials, do their nails, and exchange stories. The older ladies love this, and my daughter has found it both a charming point of contact with a generation with whom she would otherwise would have no contact, and challenging and elucidating.
She has grown to adore the women who are rolled into the sitting room to have her doll them up, and is fascinated by their adoration of her - sometimes they remember her, sometimes they donât. Sometimes they are willing to sit and talk, and watch other residents have the treatments done, but donât want to do it themselves. The company, and the chance to be with the young girls is what brings them to the room that day.
She will certainly write about this on her college applications, and as skeptical of this type of âserviceâ as I was at the outset, the thrill I see in my daughter as she relates the tales of her time with her new friends is one which warms me through and through.
To your point about local, meaningful service: nothing truer could be saidâŠ
@CheddarcheeseMN - I agree moving on âŠ
Totally believe in âHe who is without sin can cast the first stoneâ?
God Bless!
Sa·yo·na·ra all !