I feel like such a failure

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I find it more than a little ironic, however, how I'm being told I should try to understand this other culture and not extend my beliefs onto it ... but no one seems to be suggesting that Asian parents should try to understand American culture and not extend THEIR beliefs onto it (when the topic is how to succeed in America).

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<p>I'm pretty sure many Asian parents have attempted to understand American culture. Yet, there are still some beliefs that exist, even despite a gradual assimilation into society. </p>

<p>Anyway, I agree that there's nothing wrong with the OP being disappointed, since everyone has different goals and standards. For example, there are plenty of students who would like to attend a school listed in the USNWR (which seems almost a prerogative to many CC'ers) but cannot meet its standards. I don't see anyone ranting about "entitlement" when a CC'er complains about not getting into a school listed in the lower half of the USNWR list. Only when we begin discussing the Ivy League and "elite" schools do people suddenly become worried about sensitivity and other peoples' feelings getting hurt. What's up with that?</p>

<p>To the OP: Again, I understand exactly how you're feeling, but I have to say your thread was a matter of poor execution. It was probably because you were in an emotional moment that you chose to claim such blatantly ignorant things, such as JHU being inherently "lower" than the Ivy League (which is obviously not true since JHU's BME is stronger than that of almost all the Ivies), and I think we, as students and parents who probably faced similar disappointments at least once in our lifetimes, should collectively apologize for all the criticism. Next time, however, you may want to consider other peoples' reactions before you post something that may cause controversy haha. </p>

<p>Well, good luck at whatever school you pick. I bet you'll come to love your experience there.</p>

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there are plenty of students who would like to attend a school listed in the USNWR (which seems almost a prerogative to many CC'ers)

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what? there are colleges NOT on the USNWR list? </p>

<p>jk.</p>

<p>Yeah^ like BMCC lol</p>

<p>.....only like 4000 of them. :)</p>

<p>well if ur that stuck on ivies, maybe u can try transfer?</p>

<p>Aznfishy, that doesn't help! Because it's just not always possible, despite someone's hard work and worthiness, because there are only a limited # of slots in the Ivies! </p>

<p>Let's say that your parents / relatives gave you the message that success consisted of being a size 0 or 2. And that being larger was a disappointment and an embarrassment.</p>

<p>And let's say that you dieted and dieted, but your inherent body shape was such that you were really never going to get down to the 0 / 2 without putting yourself in physical jeopardy and developing an eating disorder. Maybe you're hanging around at a 4 or a 6 ... you're well-toned, fit, eating healthy, exercising, in far better shape than the average person, but you just can't get to that 0 / 2.</p>

<p>Would the appropriate response be "well, just try harder"? "Maybe if you just starve yourself, you could get down to that 0/2 after all"?</p>

<p>Or would you challenge the cultural mindset that says that only a 0/2 is worthwhile? </p>

<p>I don't see what the difference is, personally.</p>

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And let's say that you dieted and dieted, but your inherent body shape was such that you were really never going to get down to the 0 / 2 without putting yourself in physical jeopardy and developing an eating disorder.

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IDK, but that's kinda implying that perhaps the OP can try and try and try, but he's naturally not smart enough or something.</p>

<p>"I think I'm worried that the ppl who got into ivy leagues will have a major leg up when it comes to medical school admissions and future salary..."</p>

<p>OP, your statement indicates that you share the very SAME feelings and misguided opinions of your parents/family regarding HYPS. Honestly, you (as the next generation) need to let go of these misconceptions...otherwise, you just feed into the frenzy. Until that happens, there's not much more any of us can say to help you. The ball is in your court...</p>

<p>actually, i really understand how you feel...a lot of ppl from my school who were really smart and worked really smart got rejected from great colleges...</p>

<p>but you should really reevaluate the colleges you got into and move forwards...you will do fine in the future...oh and go to johns hopkins! XD</p>

<p>yes, but Johns Hopkins is much better in premed than most of the Ivies</p>

<p>^ Agree. I still think the OP is a troll, masquerading as a stereotypical brainwashed Asian kid.</p>

<p>Pizza your analogy is inherently flawed. Simply because if you work hard enough, you can gain admission to any college, whereas some people's genes will not allow for a dress size of 0/2. If the bones are too large, it just can't physically happen before death by failure of body function.</p>

<p>I know how you feel. A lot of my classmates got into top schools. I was rejected/waitlisted at all my schools except one. Everyone expected me to get into a top school. I was disappointed as hell, especially since I had fairly high stats. Though, in the end, it was probably my fault. I didn't spend as much time making myself more presentable(my essay kinda seemed whiny.) as I should have. So now I'm going to SUNY Binghamton. Just gotta make the most of what you were dealt with, I suppose.</p>

<p>JP_Omnipotence, I can understand the annoyance, and believe me, it's well-founded. </p>

<p>However, I have to disagree with your statement - no, I would not be criticizing the complaining, fortunate teacher. If all you know is all you know, I will not penalize you for acting accordingly. I respect the other person's position, regardless of whether I think the attitude will lead to self-fulfillment or not. </p>

<p>There are a lot of misconceptions that come into play, but I don't agree with the idea that those misconceptions can be easily fixed with information when there are many elements of cultural and personal identity involved, especially in regards to priorities and values. </p>

<p>Once again, the annoyance is understandable. And I agree the OP should come to his/her own conclusions. But somehow if someone's malformed lofty dreams are not actively creating a negative effect on your life, I don't see where people become allowed to criticize their culture or be stating that others need to be forced to understand. I just felt like we might be able to sympathize with that feeling of long-held, single-minded determination which sadly sometimes leads to disappointing people who love and support you.</p>

<p>Eh, I didn't realize that my post was that inflammatory, but Pizzagirl was gnawing on my tether. I'll put what I said in more PC terms then and expand a bit - I can understand that some people get annoyed at threads like this because they consider it an insult, and pretentious. But on the other hand, it's not demanding very much to empathize with other people's pain regardless just because their expectations were high. And I guess that's all I'm going to say on this subject, because if you still can't empathize then I can't do much more to help that.</p>

<p>i think he's serious... i would feel the same thing (being as an Asian)</p>

<p>"Pizza your analogy is inherently flawed. Simply because if you work hard enough, you can gain admission to any college, whereas some people's genes will not allow for a dress size of 0/2."</p>

<p>Really? So the other 92% of Harvard applicants just didn't work hard enough to get into Harvard? Harvard chose only the 8% who were the very hardest-working? I don't believe it.</p>

<p>It's like being disappointed in your child for not having won the lottery, when the very fact of being able to have a lottery ticket took a tremendous amount of work and puts the lottery-holder among the smartest and hardest working people in the country.</p>

<p>"I think I'm worried that the ppl who got into ivy leagues will have a major leg up when it comes to medical school admissions and future salary..."</p>

<p>You need to look around. Go to your phone book. Look at the list of doctors in there. Call around. Find out how many of them went to Ivies undergrad, how many went to the JHU / Tufts / Georgetown level of schools, and how many of them went to their local or flagship state universities. I think you'll be surprised that the majority of doctors out there really didn't go to "fancy" undergrad schools.</p>

<p>And for a doctor in private practice, his salary has absolutely nothing to do with where he went undergrad. It has to do with business acumen and how he runs his practice. For a doctor who is employed by a hospital, his salary is going to be the same as the specialist next to him if they do the same job, regardless of whether one doctor went to Harvard and the other to State U.</p>

<p>I think you need to step back so you don't fall into the same trap / mindset as your parents.</p>

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<p>That is a VERY racist comment. Anyone can have their own attitudes, whether it be "whatever school is fine" or "Ivy League or bust". Unless you've been outside the US which I doubt, I don't think you understand one bit about immigrants' attitudes.</p>

<p>They aren't hard to understand, we just don't AGREE with them.</p>