<p>My mom always participates in book discussions and one day when i was dropping her off and waiting outside she mentioned how the guest speaker was unable to attend. I had read the book and while back and decided to stick around. The discussion was stale since the guest speaker was not there and then i put my 2 cents in. I dont think i really discussed the book because i kept talking about many other things but at the end a man came up to me and introduced himself. He asked me my name and what grade i was going into and then he told me how much of a good speaker i was. THEN HE TOLD ME HE WAS AN ADCOM FOR HARVARD AND THAT THEY NEEDED STUDENTS LIKE ME. HE OFFERED ME ADMISSION FOR THE CLASS OF 2011 WITHOUT ASKING ME FOR MY GRADES OR MY SATS SCORES OR ANYTHING HIGH SCOOL RELATED! </p>
<p>I was at a nightclub, getting my groove on - really partying hardcore. And so, while doing body shots and some other fun stuff, an old guy came up to me and told me that he was an admissions representative for Harvard and that they needed students like me...and then he automatically accepted me and actually offered me money if I agreed to take his offer.</p>
<p>I have nothing to do with Harvard but I hope he gets rescinded for not learning how to use the caps lock (provided this trollish story is true).</p>
<p>Yes, AP Caps Lock is certainly an important course. It's like one of the thresholds of achievement: if you can't ace AP Caps Lock, who's to say you can make it academically at Harvard?</p>
<p>My neighbor owns a bulldog. I took over some meat scraps yesterday and gave them to the dog. The dog was so pleased and grateful that it offered me admission into Yale right there on the spot. Apparently all bulldogs have this authority. Who knew?</p>
<p>I'm going to talk to the tiger at the zoo this weekend to see about getting into Princeton. The bulldog sounded generous, but I still want to compare financial aid offers.</p>
<p>^^No, Stanford's is even worse -->Cardinal - not the bird but the shade of red. Like Harvard's it's rather abstract for a mascot, but it's worse because it's obviously a lame rip-off of Harvard's crimson.</p>
<p>The other day, I went to Harvard. I knocked on an adcom's door and said "Hello, I want to go to Harvard." He gave me a danish butter cookie that was shaped like a pretzel and said "okay." Then i decided that I actually didn't want to go to college--I could just use the degree. He said "okay" and had a colleague make me one to hang on my wall. Then I asked if I could have another cookie. He said "hell, no. You've gone too far, little girl."</p>
<p>Wow! You kids are all such eloquent posters. Actually, I am an admissions officer for Harvard University, and would like to extend an offer of admission to each of you!</p>