I am almost done with my first semester of college and I still feel so alone. I’ve talked to people, but I haven’t really made any friends. I eat alone and I feel depressed. Everyone says it’s only your 2nd month blah blah things will get better, but it hasn’t gotten any better! It has gotten to the point that I hate the weekends because while everyone is going out and having fun, I am in my dorm listening to them going out! I try to put myself out and be friends, but people already have their friend group and it seems like they don’t really want to hang with me. I am going home the weekend of halloween because there is no point for me to stay here. I don’t know what I should do. I want to have an awesome college experience, but all I am experiencing is depression. I am hoping to join a sorority next semester and maybe meet some girls, but as of now I just want to drop out of college. D:
I think you need to do two things: get yourself into counseling and join some clubs and/or a sorority. I think if you ask this question in the parent forum you will get a lot of support.
There are a couple of strategies that you can try:
- join some clubs where you’ll meet people who share your interests. Volunteer to help out with something so you are interacting with others in the club. Do this for several weeks so the regulars recognize you.
- approach your RA and let them know that you’re having some trouble connecting socially and would like to be more involved. Perhaps they can use some assistance with dorm activities and find some additional ways to help you connect. If they are aware that you feel a bit out of it, they can make the extra effort to see that you get included. Halloween is a great opportunity to volunteer to help decorate the dorm or organize a social activity.
- sign up for some easy classes like yoga, tennis, or conditioning and see if you can find a partner to practice with. It will give you something to do together or at least talk about.
- bake something (or buy doughnuts or whatever) and then show up at a communal point in the dorm, wherever that may be, and ask if anyone else would like to help you eat your way through the goodies…Or just sit yourself down with the open box and wait for people to ask how it happens that you have all that excellent food begging for attention.
- if you have a religious community of choice, go check out what they are up to.
And yes, go to the counseling center if you are feeling depressed. It’s way too soon to give up on a social life, but the strategies you are using don’t seem to be working for you, so you may need to try something different.
I’m sure others have strategies that have worked for them. Don’t be too hard on yourself if the social connections aren’t happening right away. It can take time.
The above posts hit pretty much everything, but I think it’d be a great idea for you to rush next semester. Getting involved with any club would give you more friends, and joining a sorority would give you an instant support network.
Don’t wait to be invited to do something, invite others to do things. Sitting in your room alone isn’t going to help your social life. You may have to try a lot of people before you find a special friend. It doesn’t have to be earth shattering activities either, a cup of tea together, a walk around campus, Netflix in your room, a card game, whatever.
You just gotta buckle down and push through it. It’s a hard transition to be sure, you just have to persevere.