I am a (soon-to-be) sophomore at UT-Dallas, majoring in Cognitive Science (I used to be neuroscience when I was on the premed track, which I dropped). I’m also on scholarship (the lowest level) and in the Collegium V Honors program. I hate my school. It is boring, uneventful, and I haven’t found anybody at all who I actually enjoy talking to. And this has subsequently made me feel worthless as an individual. I was already semi-depressed when I joined this school as a freshman, and being here has only exacerbated those feelings into full blown suicidal thoughts. During my second semester, I rarely put effort in my schoolwork and my previously nearly perfect GPA turned into a 3.4
And, unfortunately, I neglected to transfer to a ‘better’ institution like UT for next semester, since I didn’t want to waste my honors program enrollment and scholarship on a situation that could eventually improve.
So…that’s about it. I want to get better and I don’t want to keep regretting going to this school and I would love any advice to that end.
Basically, if anybody has experience with going to a commuter university or a low ranked university, I would love any advice on how you started to love/enjoy going to your institution.
If it helps, here is what I was involved with during my freshman year:
Neuroscience research for both semesters (going to switch to a computational modeling lab next semester though, since my eventual goal is to get a Ph.D in Artificial Intelligence)
Student Government both semesters
If you can talk to someone, you should. Sometimes, you just get so low you can’t get out on your own. You sound very low.
My advice would be to get involved with something that brings you in regular contact with the same people and doing something enjoyable. Maybe it’s serving meals at a soup kitchen or a local tutoring program. Helping out at the aspca. Even a job on campus. But something you can commit to. Shared activities have a funny way of creating bonds.
Sounds like you may want to add some more clubs or organizations with a social component. Perhaps volunteering? Outdoors club? Dance club? Cooking club? Or trying something completely new. It can help break up the feeling that it is a commuter school and help you create your own small community. Some people may also enjoy greek life or living in a residence hall if that is offered.
If you can admit to “full blown suicidal thoughts” you are in a situation where you need a psychological evaluation for your safety. Please seek some help, talk to your parents to get the help.
Much of how you cope with any situation has more to do with your mindset. If you work hard wherever you are, make the most of whatever you have, rather than focusing what you don’t feel satisfied about you might focus on the positives. You might, however,need some professional help doing this mental flip.
Many moons ago, all my college plans fell apart when it was discovered that my father had squandered all college savings for all four kids on a mistress. I ended up having to scramble to get admitted to a small largely commuter college with a small residential campus and attending a school that I never dreamed I would have to go to. I made the best of it, got my degree, met my husband, and went on to grad school at a very good university. I have had a great career and wonderful life.
You can too. Your college doesn’t define you. What you do does.
OP this is not the place to look for help. You need to contact your college mental health services NOW.
Or call the anonymous 24-hour hotline 1-800-273-8255. My prayers are with you.
Yeah, once college starts back up again I will definitely make use of the mental health resources on campus (we have twelve free psychiatrist visits). However, in the meantime, do you guys think joining a frat would help with me bonding more to a campus?
Maybe if you can meet some people you feel compatible with. You mentioned not having anyone you like spending time with. As a result, you may be spending too much time alone and so you may be too into “your own head”. You need things that will direct your attention away from yourself. So a frat may be helpful.