<p>I don’t know what it is. There is a topic posted, thoughtful responses and then bam – snide, snippy remarks. Why bother.<br>
I feel bad for some ppl that post their problems on here. EVEN worse is if you have an opinion or well thought out solution to their questions or problems.
Snippy, snooty, UN-educated, UN-informed, UN-reliable.
Why don’t you all just stop and THINK
Thank you. Goodnight.</p>
<p>If you are miserable in your current situation and have been for the last 2 years (be honest), then leave. I am assuming that you were at one point in your life and probably before this college experience, happier. If you are in a program that is combined BS/MD and do not leave, you are committed to another how many additional years of misery? If you have had lengthy times of peace, I would give different advice, but that is not what I hear in your post. Either a career or personal counselor can be a big help in sorting out the source(s) of your unhappiness and also finding a school that would be a better fit. If you must, take a year off and spend time with your family.</p>
<p>As another poster said, people transfer for all kinds of reasons. Love, recreational opportunities, academic programs. My sister transferred after realizing she made a HUGE mistake in her initial college choice. Initially, she went for a full-ride at a school that was a poor fit for her – academically, socially and geographically. She transferred from a large urban area to a smaller urban area, from a “Greek” environment to a school that was completely its opposite, and left a partying and entitled crowd to find herself among down-to-earth intellectual and artistic like-minded souls. She lost some credits and had to explain her decision to parents, peers, and the admissions committee but she loved every second she spent at her “new” school. I am sure some of the other posters would have also questioned whether she would be happy anywhere – she questioned this herself until she transferred and realized the problem was that the “old” school just did not fit her.</p>
<p>To quote Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”<br>
Don’t spend that precious life miserable and bitter.</p>
<p>^^
I gave advice that OP should NOT drown his problems by submerging into work. I even explained, and provided a basis for my opinion based on my experiences. </p>
<p>I am sorry but I was not aware that if a person has his problems, then he or she cannot express his opinion. In no way person’s own problems make his opinion “UN-educated, UN-informed, and UN-reliable.” </p>
<p>This is definitely the most bizarre idea that I have ever heard in my life.</p>
<p>to the poster who said you can "buy’ friends–really, you can’t. People that hang out with you because you can buy them drinks, or concert tickets, or whatever–aren’t friends. They are users, using you. You stop buying? They disappear without a qualm. And you will never feel secure in this kind of “friendship” because you know it will disappear the moment you put your wallet back in your pocket.</p>
<p>Not only that, but people with good social skills tend to do quite well in the real world. They grow up, they mature out of the college party life style, they get serious about their careers–and they take their social skills along with them. A year or two out of college, and your wallet won’t be impressing them any more because they won’t need it.</p>
<p>Just as kids with a party life style need to mature and learn to prioritize to get anywhere, people with poor social skills also need to self-assess and learn to develop some social skills.</p>
<p>OP and TTU guy, you read like the sort of folks that people (including potential romantic partners) of real quality do everything to avoid. Your condescension and your implicit assumption that a romantic partner that meets your standards is something that you should be handed for attaining a certain measurable intellectual or career achievement are incredibly unappealing. </p>
<p>Neither of you come off as though you recognize the actual humanity in the people around you and honestly it is a little chilling to read parts of your posts. Now I know that there are very few people in this world that actually deny the humanity of those around them and I’m not saying that either of you are in that group. However, you are giving off that impression, at least from time to time. Like other posters in this thread, I recommend counseling.</p>
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<p>Well, we have to look this way. They are using me for “drinks, tickets, w/e” and I am using them for socializing. There’s nothing wrong with that, at least in my morality. Of course, they won’t be “life-long friends” who would have your back, yet they will suffice for socializing purposes. Same pattern is true for girlfriends; </p>
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<p>How will they build their careers, if all they did during their college was partying? How can a future doctor or engineer do his/her job, if they don’t know anything? Doesn’t make sense to me. </p>
<p>And honestly, the FACT that both myself and OP cannot deal with “drunk party girls” has NOTHING to do with our professional and social skills. It just means that our spiritual, moral, intellectual, and ethical values surpass those of most other teens around. It’s something to be proud of, rather than ashamed of. </p>
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<p>There’s nothing wrong with looking for a romantic partner that is “at your own level.” In other words, it seems that both OP and myself are looking for a partner that resembles and comes close to our intellectual and moral values. Long story short, we are looking for a person, who is “just like me.” </p>
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<p>So you are sending:</p>
<p>“A person who drinks massively, has GPA 1.5, smokes weed, parties, hooks up”–>TO PARTY</p>
<p>“A person with immense ambition and excellent grades and who doesn’t drink, smoke, hook up”–>TO PSYCHIATRIST</p>
<p>Doesn’t sound right to me…</p>
<p>^
Maybe the guy with the 1.5 GPA has good social skills and knows how to talk to girls, and the guy with ‘immense ambition and excellent grades’ doesn’t. Girls are people, not awards. You’re not going to get a girl just by having excellent grades.</p>
<p>By all means, have high standards, look for people ‘like you’–but this sense of entitlement (“I have a higher GPA than all these LOSER guys who smoke weed, hot girls should be dating me instead of them”) is not at all helpful.</p>
<p>Just because I recommended counseling for you and OP doesn’t mean that I don’t recommend it for others. However, those “others” were and are not my concern. You also seem rather bent on seeing the world in only two categories. If you think that there aren’t many, many successful people in a variety of careers who–gasp–might not have had amazing GPAs in school, and who do or did party, drink, take drugs, etc. on the regular, then you aren’t seeing reality.</p>
<p>(ETA: It is, in fact, possible to do most of those things in a way that is not destructive to a person’s future, etc. Of course there are people who have serious problems with addiction and other destructive behavior, but they are not the people I’m talking about–I’m talking about the vast majority of people who can party while having functional, successful lives.) </p>
<p>By the way, I used to see the world in the same way that you and the OP seem to, and it really is the wrong way to look at the world. I’m a better person who associates with better people because I changed the way I saw things.</p>
<p>I had a long post detailing all the things that don’t quite add up about the standards you demand of romantic partners (do note that your response in post #20 could plausibly be read as you valuing attractiveness above all other things in women–if that’s not the impression you want to give off, then you might want to change the way you phrase things), but renoverchat sums it up best when s/he says, “Girls are people, not awards.” </p>
<p>(This, of course, goes the other way, but the “I deserve a mate that meets my exact standards because I have leveled up” mindset is far less common among my women students than it is among my students who are men.)</p>
<p>Remember, people of quality have plenty of offers from folks who can offer surface attractiveness and financial/career prospects. What do you offer in terms of being able to empathize, to support, not to harshly judge, to be a teammate? In my experience, people who attract genuinely exceptional romantic partners tend to think of and present themselves in that total way.</p>
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<p>1) Well, if a girl falls for such a loser with 1.5GPA while ignoring someone like OP, then I have no words for this. As OP said, girls in college (at least in OP’s and mine) “posses absolutely no intelligence whatsoever.” I would also add, that girls have a tendency to fall for losers, who treat them like garbage; and then girls complain about physical and verbal abuse. Well, who’s at fault? When a nice guy came to you, you ditched him; you went for a loser, and got what you deserved. I have absolutely no words for this. </p>
<p>2) You cannot ignore the academic aspect. Period. That would give a 1.5GPA looser an immense advantage. People like OP and myself, studied all our lives, while most other guys only spent time improving their social image and talking skills. Of course, the latter would have an indisputable advantage in romantic relationships. And honestly, grades are only an aftereffect of a personality, it’s not a personality on itself. </p>
<p>3) Yet in a long run, a 5’3 nerd is superior in numerous ways to 6’2 most popular guy, because all the values that 6’2guy possess are freely available and can be purchased, while 5’3 nerd’s possessions are priceless.</p>
<p>Could you study at another college for a semester? Maybe do a semester at a school where some of yours are. It may give you a new prospective. I am sure any pre med courses you are taking could be taken at another school.</p>
<p>Very few students stay on campus with a 1.5–it doesn’t happen, it’s a myth you have convinced yourself of to make you feel superior. The world is not black and white; it’s mostly a huge variation of shades of gray, and people on either extreme tend not to do as well as people in the vast middle range.</p>
<p>There are lots of students who “party” and yet manage to produce very respectable grades as well. They just know when it is appropriate to do what…get the work done first, then go have fun. They learn to work efficiently–a skill very valued in the real world-- and to produce quality work–also valued in the real world–while also honing social skills. Again, valued in the real world.</p>
<p>People without social skills but great grades can get hired for that first job. It’s just that it often turns into a dead end for them…they are placed in their little cubicle, but never move on up and out to the corner office. They may get in to medical school (although it is harder for them than the student who has the grades, the scores, and the personality–because that person will get glowing LORs) but they will never become chief resident, because they need to get along with people.</p>
<p>TTU, how lonely it must feel to know that people are with you only because you are paying for them to be with you–that’s not real socializing, it’s more akin to the parallel play of toddlers. And just think–every time you go to the bathroom, they laugh behind your back. And if a girl deigns to dance with you only because you bought her a drink, how she then goes and tells her friends what a creeper you are, and they all have a good laugh.</p>
<p>Something else to realize–after your first job, no one will ever again ask for your GPA. They will ask what you have achieved on the job, who you have worked with, what community organizations you are involved in, etc…They won’t care that you had a 4.0 while ol’ Bob only graduated with a 3.3.</p>
<p>You accused me of using extremes (1.5GPA; weed; massive alcohol) to justify my position, by aren’t you doing the same thing? (Below)</p>
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<p>Basically, fraternities are based that way. As long as you pay fees, you will have access to friends/girlfriends/parties, no matter what. So if someone has an opportunity to afford the fraternity fees, why he or she should be alone?</p>
<p>My sons’ fraternities also had academic requirements: carry a full caseload and have a minimum GPA to be allowed to attend social functions and/or live in the house. Mandatory study hall/tutoring sessions for anyone with a GPA even close to not meeting standards.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for that harsh post, boysx3; you were trying to help and I was pretty angry that day. I do agree with you that those guys with lower academic records than mine are talented in their own way; I’ve seen examples of students in fraternities here who just seem to party every night but land jobs at Goldmann Sacchs upon graduation (through connections). In response to oldfort, I am going on a term abroad next year in my senior year, so hopefully that will help me become closer to those from my college abroad with me as well as give me a chance to meet new people.</p>
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<p>You don’t seem like the “nice” guy either.</p>
<p>skiier, let up on yourself. Try to get yourself a healthy balance. It’s great that you are going abroad–remember that the purpose of going abroad is to experience abroad, and not spend all your time with your books. Take the chance while you are there to “reinvent” yourself–try out several new personas if you want, and see if one sticks! Take chances because that is how you grow. Ask the kids in the room down the hall to go out and do stuff with you, and be sure to say yes when they want to go out. Travel lots on weekends. Most of all, let yourself have fun.</p>
<p>As far as getting jobs at GS–Some kids have connections. Most don’t. And even those who do have connections aren’t going in to IB or other similar opportunities if they don’t have the hard goods as well.</p>
<p>those kids “seem” to party every night–but they don’t party til after their work is done. My nephew is going in to IB and has multiple offers. He is a senior at a Big 10–in the honors program at a very highly rated business school; president of his fraternity; he can drink any number of people under the table if and when he chooses to do so. He also chairs a major campus philanthropic event, has been a Big Brother to an underprivileged boy for 3 years, and has helped in a high school program teaching financial responsibility. He got a 35 on the ACT in October of his sophomore year of high school. He is graduating with a 3.9+ from college this May. In other words, he is very bright, but also very disciplined–AND has great social skills. You would be likely to see him in a bar or at a party on Thursday night, having a great time–but he also gets up at 7 every morning and gets a ton of work done before classes. He doesn’t waste a lot of time. When he sits down to work, he workds. And he won’t be at the party if he needs to attend to other responsibilities first.</p>
<p>But he doesn’t talk about how hard he works–that’s boring. Instead he talks about all the interesting things he does in his life. And that gives other people, who don’t know him, the impression that he doesn’t work hard. False impression. </p>
<p>And there are lots of people just like him, and the people who are envious of the people they see partying and succeeding are often just not seeing beyond the surface.</p>
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<p>In which parallel universe does he live?</p>
<p>We all wished we lived that perfect life, and that we studied in that perfect school,but sometimes reality is different. Maybe you have some buyer’s regrets, but you are also getting a HUGE advantage over your friends at Berkeley; thousands of kids are now thinking if their MCATs and GPAs are good enough to get them a spot in the few medical school spots available. So you are not a social star, the food sucks and you have no girlfriend yet. Those things will change in the future, however you WILL be in medical school. And then SURE you will have no time to be a social star, to eat good food or have a girlfriend. Be patient. Things will get better.</p>
<p>skiier, this must certainly be very frustrating. You have a lot already invested in this college experience and a lot of stuff seems to be lining up against you. Apart from the academics, think about your goals - what type of person do you want to become. How are the forces in your current enviroment shaping you for - or even hindering you from - the life journey you are preparing for now. More importantly, what actions do you need to take towards becoming that person you envision?</p>