<p>I have been looking into the naval academy, but do not know exactly how to tell my parents. My mom really doesnt want me in the military, but I feel that it is where i belong. My dad is fine with it. How did your kids tell you that they wanted to go? What was your reaction?</p>
<p>Well, I'm not a Navy Parent (and won't be close to being one for at least another 10 years), but I may be able to help you anyway, having told my parents back in my day.</p>
<p>To begin, the only person who should have a major say in your decision to attend or not attend USNA is that person that stares back at you from the mirror each morning when you brush your teeth (don't forget to floss). When you enter USNA, or any other SA, or the military, you are an adult, and as such you are considered old enough to make your own decisions. Whether one or both of your parents are for it or against it is irrelevant.</p>
<p>So much for legalities.</p>
<p>You may want to tell us why your mom doesn't want you in the military. Is it political, or is it just the natural concern a mother has for her kid when he chooses a dangerous trade? Would she feel the same way if you announced that you wanted to be a cop or fireman, or is it that she thinks you'll become a baby-murdering drone?</p>
<p>If it's political, my advice is to ignore her. Sorry, but I have no patience for ignorant fools.</p>
<p>If it's motherly instinct, then you need to sit down with her (and your dad, since he seems to be in agreement) and explain to her why you want to go, why you are willing to face the risks, and that you hope she will support you in your decision. It's not like you're going to stop being her son when you don the uniform, you know.</p>
<p>Word of advice, though: Be sure you can answer those questions TO YOURSELF before you try to sell her on it. Moms have an uncanny ability to know you better than you know yourself, and she'll be able to tell if you're spinning a yarn rather than speaking from conviction.</p>
<p>My mom, rest her soul, was extremely supportive of my decision, but still worried, as you would expect. For the whole ten years I wore the uniform, her attitude was, "So long as two guys I don't know DON'T show up to my door in uniform, then I know he's OK."</p>
<p>Oh.... one more thing. Never forget she loves you, and never fail to tell her you love her. One day you won't be able to anymore, and you'll rue the missed opportunities. Ask me why I know. :(</p>
<p>Go get 'em. :)</p>
<p>My daughter started the process by looking through the various SA web sites, and by showing them to me. Although I worry for her safety, and the safety of all those in uniform, my biggest concern was that she should do everything possible to be sure that this is really the right thing for her. Thus, if she had not bothered to apply for NASS, I would have felt that she didn't really want it enough to succeed. Same thing with physical preparation. Her determination in getting up to Academy standards has convinced me that she really means business. I have raised every issue that I can think of that she should consider, and in every single case, she has given me mature, well-reasoned answers to my questions. I'm still worried, but I'm sold.</p>
<p>Her dad and grandparents have been very opposed to her attending any SA, and even opposed her desire to attend the various summer seminars. At this point I think "resigned" is the best word to describe them. </p>
<p>In short, I would recommend that you think of it sort of as your first MOC interview. Be prepared to explain why you want this career, and why a SA is the right officer prep for you. Demonstrate through your actions that this is important to you. In the end, they will either happily or unhappily live with what happens, because it's your decision, and your life, not theirs.</p>
<p>I took a very gradual approach with my parents. During the spring of my Junior year we began looking at colleges. I told them that I wanted to look into the Service Academies. After some research, I told them that I wanted to apply to the Naval Academy to see if I could get in, along with other schools to keep my options open. I did this to ease them into the discussion and partly b/c I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go to USNA or not. They are not anti-military liberals, but they both had objections to my decission. My mother's maternal instinct kicked in and she worried about my safety which was understandable. My father (and most of my family) already had a "master plan" for my life in which I went to an Ivy League school and became an MD, so USNA didn't really fit into his plans for me. I have nothing against my father or doctors, but I knew that going into medicine was not what I wanted with my life and not what would make me happy.</p>
<p>My mother was thankfully, a silent objector to my decision, my father was not. First he tried to pressure me into thinking his way. Then he took every chance he got to degrade the military. Neither tactic worked on me, and actually just ****ed me off and made me more determined. What he failed to realize is that I am just as stubborn as he is.</p>
<p>As I began the journey (or ordeal) of the application process I gradually realized that USNA was one of my top choices in schools and looked like a place that I really wanted to be. I explained this to them and gave them my reasons. They understood, but asked that I still apply to other schools to keep my options open, which I agreed was a good idea. By this point both of them had cooled off a bit. My dad had convinced my mom that if I was in the Navy the chances of me getting shot at were not as likely (whether or not this is true is not important, it's just what he told her). He finally realized that his tactics were not working and that I was actually serious about going, so he started to support me more so as not to cause a riff between us.</p>
<p>And that's sort of where we stand as of now.</p>
<p>What I have not yet told them, but think they may have figured out is that, one, USNA is my top choice and THE place that I want to be, two, that my first choice of service assignments is the Marines, and three, regardless of what school I end up going to, I plan on going into the military after earning my degree in any way that I can, whether it is ROTC, OCS, or straight out enlisting.</p>
<p>Stevethebeav:
I bet your parents know all this info now...what they don't tell you is that they read your posts! Well, maybe they do!! We parents want to be supportive of you kids; but then our well meaning friends email us all kinds of sappy/heartwrenching stories of military sacrifice. This is difficult (and exciting!) for everyone. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>SteveTheBeav,</p>
<p>Excellent post. Semper Fi!</p>