<p>Ok, so I've written this essay that I really like and was proud of. I had help from a few people editing it and I've sent it to one school. My next two applications to Wesleyan University and Oberlin College are due next weekend. I don't have stats that really stand out at all, especially for Wesleyan, so A LOT of weight is being put on my essay. After a CCer's recent advice, I've realized that to get into these schools my essay will have to be amazing. If I want to be accepted it can't be good, or even really good, with just ok stats. I need something that will stand out like no other. Something that an adcom could love or hate, and hopefully love. Being Wesleyan, I feel like I may have some wiggle room as far as risky and controversial essays go. I just need something that will wow people, have them showing it to co-workers. I guess everyone wants an essay like this, but I'm beginning to feel that my application is dependent on it.</p>
<p>Could anyone read my essay, and tell me what they think about it, esp. regarding what I've just said?</p>
<p>I feel like the essay is leaning toward the generic telling about an experience and how I'm a better person now, and that this just won't cut it.</p>
<p>The best essays that I've read stand out in my mind as being strikingly personal, detailed, honest and revealing.</p>
<p>To improve your essay, therefore, my advice is to search again inside, to search deeper, more genuinely, more unflinchingly, more personally, to feel and think more truthfully.</p>
<p>Imo, this search cannot be about Wesleyan or Oberlin. It is simply about finding and revealing whatever truth is inside and can be found within your time frame. </p>
<p>That truth may or may not get you into your preferred colleges--but it will be well worth knowing.</p>
<p>Thanks for the continued help ADad...
I have not read many (any, except examples on college sites) admission essays, and have no idea how personal, detailed, honest or revealing my essay is compared to others'. I guess comparing it to others' essays isn't the point. Not for me personally, at least. Nonetheless, I'd love to see some, even just one, example of a really personal, detailed, honest, revealing, and truely WOW-worthy essay. Just to have some kind of basis for what I am trying to do here. Especially while also including why I want to transfer and the objectives I hope to achieve... </p>
<p>So, I'll continue searching for deep truth within.</p>
<p>I wouldn't call it "deep truth". That sounds philosophical to me, and philosophical is not the way to go imo.</p>
<p>I'm thinking just some truth about you. It might be "deep", but it doesn't have to be deep. I would not say that the best essays I've read are "deep"; they are just personal, detailed, honest and revealing. In fact, I've read read some "deep" essays and generally I didn't find them personal enough, revealing enough.</p>
<p>Your remarks about your connection with Simba, what you learned from Simba, revealed some truth about you. That's the type of thing I have in mind.</p>
<p>Sure, I'll read it. My email is <a href="mailto:RayAllen333@gmail.com">RayAllen333@gmail.com</a>, please put College Confidential as subject so I know that it isn't some random email. Good luck on getting accepted.</p>
<p>ADad, I definitely agree. I mean, I think probably any personal truth could be philosophical in some way, but certainly not in a pretentious way.
I was really being a bit sarcastic, which rarely ever comes across online, haha. That kind of jargon was used a lot in my first year college, and I loved it and thought it was really meaningful, but still tend to joke about it and not take myself too seriously.</p>