i still havent made any friends yet

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>i've been at my school for a week, and school started three days ago, but i still haven't made any friends yet. any time i approach anyone, they kind of give me this "who do you think you are coming up to me randomly and introducing yourself" vibe. it makes me feel upset, and i just don't think i am going to have any friends this semester =[</p>

<p>i thought people were pretty open at the beginning of the year, but people sure do bond fast. i miss my home and i miss my friends. the only person who i am friends with is my roommate, and she comes and goes.</p>

<p>got any advice? </p>

<p>thanks, bumble.</p>

2

<p>Ask your roommate if you can tag along to a party. People are open, but you need a reason to be talking to them. Being at the same party is a reason, but being at the library is not.</p>

<p>Also, leave your dorm room door open when you’re inside.</p>

3

<p>Go to a club meeting for a club you’re interested in-hopefully you’ll meet someone with that similar interest. Or if you’re desperate, tag along with your roommate next time they go out-you might go to a party, or a dorm dinner and meet someone you click with. </p>

<p>Don’t feel bad, it’s barely been a week-best advice: continue being positive and open with people, I’m sure there are many others who feel like you =)</p>

4

<p>Are you fat, ugly, or socially awkward? Otherwise, I don’t know what the problem could be, because, you’re right: People are open. It is very easy to make friends because people have lower expectations than high school and like to be connected as possible. If you are fat, ugly, or socially awkward, you should probably visit the gym and join some student organizations so you’re forced to interact with people and hopefully develop friends.</p>

5

<p>It’s been a week. Calm down. You certainly aren’t doomed to be friendless.</p>

<p>Going up and introducing yourself to people works for some people, but I’d venture to say most people just get weird looks, unless they’re super-charming on the person they’re talking to is really, really friendly.</p>

<p>Are you living on campus? Try going around your floor and seeing if anyone has their door open. If so, start up a conversation. People leave their doors open because they want to meet people, so take advantage of that. Also leave your door open when you’re in your room, unless you’re studying or sleeping or whatever. Someone might come by and say hi, and then you can introduce yourself to them.</p>

<p>In class, introduce yourself to the people around you. This is a great way to meet people. Before or after class (before tends to work better, after people usually have places to be), ask what they think of the class/prof/that weird kid in the first row/whatever. If they seem friendly, keep talking to them. Ask what they did last weekend, what their major is, etc. Eventually, ask if they want to study sometime. It may seem cheesy, but it’s a good way to meet people, especially if all the people around you kind of get to know each other and form a study group or something.</p>

<p>Look for clubs/intramural sports that interest you and try those out. I’ve had a tough time meeting people through clubs, but some people meet their best friends there. If you’re athletic, intramurals are even better, because you generally practice several times a week and have the team bonding experience. If you’re religious, try church or a bible study. Church can be a tough one because a lot of people there generally know each other and you feel kind of awkward at first, but if you stick with it you’ll get to know people, especially if you join a small group or something like that.</p>

<p>The worst thing you can do is resign yourself to being friendless. Don’t stop introducing yourself – just don’t do it so randomly. I’m sure you’ll be fine.</p>

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<p>Have you tried visiting the professors during office hours? If one develops a favourable rapport, that can work wonders and could be useful if anything comes up.</p>

7

<p>I find that speaking with people in your classes is the best way to go. </p>

<p>This is my 3rd semester doing japanese and the people who are still in it are all my friends. We’re just a very close knit group, along with the professor of course. She’s epic.</p>

8

<p>Sounds like it’s you and not them.</p>

9

<p>You’re a freshman? I have some advice: calm down and stop acting so needy. Most people can sense that kind of desperation from a mile away. If you just put yourself out there naturally, you will make friends, I guarantee it.</p>

<p>But just don’t be so melodramatic. School started three frickin days ago.</p>

10

<p>@bumble</p>

<p>You situation sounds EXACTLY like mine last year. I didn’t have any good friends for the full first half of the year. I felt like everybody found friends with somebody else and I was just the odd man out. I’m not socially awkward or closed in or anything. I’m a little shy sometimes but I was definitely being open and trying to interact with as many people as possible. Now I have a great group of friends. I kept joining different organizations on campus and being open to everybody I met, and what do you know, my best friends just came out of nowhere. I think you’ll be fine.</p>

11

<p>I had a hard time at first, too. First, calm down. People–especially your roommate and probably your floormates–can tell when you’re desperate, but only when you act that way. If you just act friendly and open with the people around you, you’ll make friends. Being really obvious about actively trying to make someone your friend can send off a certain vibe, one that you really don’t want to send off. Like others have said, leave your door open unless you’re sleeping/studying/changing. Go talk to other people on your floor that have their doors open. Strike up a conversation with the people you sit near in class. Join a club and try to be casual but friendly about meeting people. I’m just guessing that when you’re talking to people, you’re doing this whole “I’m a freshman and I don’t have any friends yet and I need to make friends right now and if I don’t I’m going to die and I’m really really really nervous and so do you want to be my friend” thing. Try not to.</p>

<p>What happened to me last year: I didn’t know how to interact with my roommate at first, so I just kind of…didn’t. She seemed to become instant friends with a bunch of the other girls on our floor, and so I didn’t know how to talk to them either because it felt like she had “claimed” them. I was sad and lonely for the first month and a half or so.</p>

<p>Then I started casually talking to the girl who lived across the hall from me. Eventually, we would go to the library or to a coffee shop to study. Now we’re really good friends. I also opened up to my roommate and the other girls, and I became friends with them, too. We all moved back to campus this week and, while I’ve only seen two of them (I got here last night), it really is great to see them again.</p>

<p>Last night, I was also hanging out with a girl I met in a small seminar-type class last semester. She’s a really friendly person whereas I’m shy and quiet, but sometimes being around friendly people can work to the shy person’s advantage. For the most part, everyone in that class became close to one another, and in a lot of cases, that’s carried over even though the class is over.</p>

<p>I also joined a service fraternity (Alpha Phi Omega), which turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It gave me something to do. I would have meetings or service projects or “fellowships” (coffee nights, ice cream nights, dinners, study nights, etc) at least a few nights a week. Everyone in it is super nice and open and friendly, and by acting the same way, I’ve been able to make a little group of friends within the chapter.</p>

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<p>thanks for the posts.</p>

<p>lol i think my post sounded really melodramatic but i will do my best to not send off the “im a very needy person and i need friends” vibe. =]</p>

<p>yeah i guess so. ill leave my door open, but sometimes its hard because the people in my hallway are very very loud and they like to party alooot. </p>

<p>i think im more homesick than anything. </p>

<p>umm for whoever said fat ugly or whatever, no im pretty decent looking, but i don’t think people should make friends just on appearences.</p>

<p>anyways thanks you guys for the advice and wish me luck. bumble</p>

13

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<p>But they do. If you’re pretty decent looking, then you’re in good shape.</p>

14

<p>I didn’t make any friends for a good month after school started.</p>

<p>My best friend now, when I first met him, I thought looked like a ******bag and a tool. Give it time, hang out in your room with your door open, talk to people who walk by and introduce themselves(my first few weeks on a daily basis people would walk in and introduce themselves and talk with us)</p>