<p>Is anyone willing to help me look it over. I'm not going to hold you guys to make a whole bunch of grammatical fixes or anything but I was want you guys to answer these questions if possible. So when reading this, can you guys consider: </p>
<ol>
<li> Do I like the person who wrote this?</li>
<li> Does this person sound like an individual?</li>
<li> Does this person sound genuine and authentic? </li>
<li> Does this person sound motivated?</li>
<li> Does any of this sound made up?</li>
<li> Does this person sound arrogant? </li>
<li> Does this person sound like he/she is trying too hard to sound smart? </li>
<li> Does this person properly address the prompt? </li>
</ol>
<p>Also feel free to add more critique if you guys would like to. And also my word count for this one is 770 and I need help shortening it :[</p>
<p>Thank you guys so much in advance! </p>
<p>Describe the world you come from for example, your family, community or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>
<p>The world in which I come from can be described with the words fortunate and lucky. I have parents who pay to send me to private school, a comfortable household, a loving family, and various other luxuries. Initially, I took my fortune for granted. Because I have always had things handed to me, I lacked the motivation to succeed and did poorly in school because of it. I thought that my successful future was ensured because of my fortunate background despite my unwillingness to work. Although my parents were Vietnamese war immigrants, my younger self never did completely understand the hardships they have undergone in order to establish themselves in my eyes as successful U.S. citizens. However as I have gotten older, I began to learn that my parents success was not a simple product of time but rather diligence. This helped me to appreciate the value of hard work and how it acts as the catalyst to success. Through their hardships, perseverance, and triumph, they have helped me mold my passions, dreams, and aspirations. </p>
<p>One of the biggest obstacles throughout most of my life was my lack of motivation. Throughout middle school I was constantly placed in academic probation due to my poor grades despite being considered by many of my teachers to be very intelligent. Although I was often scolded and punished by my parents, I could never find the inspiration to apply myself. After feeling remorse however for inflicting sadness upon my parents, I began to work harder although my lack of ambition still caused to me underperform in early high school. This all changed however during one of my tenth grade religion class assignments where I was required to interview my parents and write a paper about the world in which I come from. My mother and father told me stories of their personal journeys as Vietnamese war immigrants who endured poverty, social adaptation, and losing their friends and families. When my parents came to the United States, they knew little to no English and were required to work twice as hard in order to establish themselves. Today, my mother is a home mortgage originator while father owns a C&C machining company. Through their diligence and success, they gave me the inspiration to pursue my education to the best of my ability and search for my passion.</p>
<p>After doing research, I came across the field of pharmaceutical science which immediately grabbed my interest. Ever since I was young, one of my most prominent intellectual strengths was mathematics. In addition to having always scored the highest in my mathematics sections on standardized tests, I was often lauded by my friends and teachers to have the ability to see things through a very logical and pragmatic perspective which I attribute to video games. The games that Ive played have taught me how to logically scrutinize situations in order to overcome them in the most efficient way possible. I knew that because of this, my future profession would relate to mathematics in some way which sparked my decision to take the most challenging math courses my school had to offer. While choosing my classes for junior year, I found out that I was ineligible for the honors algebra 2 and trigonometry course due to a bad grade I got in algebra 1 of freshman year. As a result, I urged my counselor to make an exception and place me in the honors course because I am good at math and was now willing to work to the best of my ability. After looking at my standardized tests scores in math, he agreed that I should be placed in the honors math course which in turn made me eligible for honors chemistry. Wanting to further challenge myself as a student, I took honors chemistry and developed a genuine interest in that field of study. I then began to research professions that incorporated both mathematics and chemistry and stumbled upon the field of pharmaceutical science. </p>
<p>Had it not been for my parents, I would never have found my passion for pharmaceutical science. My parents have taught me that success is a product of perseverance and discipline as exemplified in Bachs statement,I worked hard. Anyone who works as hard as I did can achieve the same results. Not only do I enjoy the area of study, but idea of applying ones knowledge of mathematics and science into studying and making a simple tablet that could save lives mentally stimulates me. This has become my passion, my ambition, my goal, and the driving force that pushes me to work to the best of my ability.</p>