<p>I’m so sorry! Sending good thoughts for your daughter to recover from this experience.</p>
<p>Too many girls in this situation blame themselves needlessly and I hope that that’s not the case with your daughter.</p>
<p>Hoping that your trip to pick her up goes as smoothly as possible. Please do keep us posted when you can.</p>
<p>What an upsetting story to hear and I’m so sorry it happened. You are wise to let her come home to heal.</p>
<p>Your love for your daughter comes through. Sending healing thoughts and hugs.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear this. Such a shame. May your daughter heal with the support of family and friends.</p>
<p>I am also so saddened to hear about your daughter. Aside from hearing of a fatal tragedy, I think rape/attempted rape of your little girl it is every mom’s worst fear when they drop them off at college. I pray that she can get the help she needs; you as well. </p>
<p>Like so many have said before, take it one step, one day at a time and emphasize that school can wait. I hope your family can find strength in each other and with help from professionals, can move forward with your lives. Take care- all of you.</p>
<p>I would find out if this can be a medical leave with the opportunity to return in a year.</p>
<p>I’m soooo sorry to hear that this has happened to your DD.</p>
<p>I sure hope that young man was arrested!</p>
<p>I’m saddened for your daughter and wish the best for her, you, and your family. </p>
<p>Take it a day at a time and according to her levels of readiness.</p>
<p>Your daughter is in good hands with you as a mom. Thank goodness she has a familiar therapist to go to. That will be a tremendous comfort to her. She will be able to tackle college another time. She may want to consider a women’s college. There are some great ones out there and she would feel safer. Best wishes.</p>
<p>Sending a heartfelt hug to both you and your daughter at this difficult time. There is no question in my mind that you both will get through this together. You are doing all the right things and right now I am sure that she needs to be home. She sounds like a bright and motivated young woman who will not allow this unfortunate experience to stand in her way.</p>
<p>Just wanted to put in my two cents too. You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. This could have happened to any of our daughters.</p>
<p>flowerchild, I too am glad she has a familiar and trusted counsellor at home. That’s a very good place to start.</p>
<p>My heart aches for you! Her dream was your dream too, and I can’t imagine how heartbreaking this is. Please, please keep us posted.</p>
<p>flowerchild, it is horrible that this has happened to your daughter. The assault would be traumatic for anyone–how much more so for a person who is already unusually vulnerable.</p>
<p>But please try not to regard this as a “shattering of her dream,” as if her college career is over and done with. Your D already exhibited strength by reporting the crime and seeking help. Good for her! With your love and support and more professional help, have faith that she will experience healing that will enable her to reenter college–maybe at the U of M, but maybe elsewhere, there are many great options for her!–and be successful there. I hope that her dream is deferred, not destroyed.</p>
<p>Hugs to you. It is incredibly difficult to see one’s child suffer.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry. You and your brave daughter are in my thoughts.</p>
<p>I am so sorry!!! (((hugs)))) I hope she prosecutes and then sues to pay back all she lost financially in all this.</p>
<p>Flowerchild ~ Hugs to both you and your daughter. It’s wonderful that you already have a trusted therapist ready to help her. Sounds like she has a great mom to support her and help her through this difficult time.</p>
<p>I agree with the advise to not think of this as a shattered dream. Think of it as more of a detour of a dream. Five years from now this change in college campus has potential to be a blip on her screen of life. I am not so sure the attempted rape can ever be a blip, but with strong structured therapy, she should be able to strengthen and return to her dream path. Detours sometimes have a way of putting us in different times and circumstances that we might not normally have considered had the road been smooth. These detours can lead to some of lifes most extrodinary experiences. Take time to mourn the loss of what could have been but don’t dwell on it for too long as it can overshadow and positive and forward moving recovery.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you and your daughter. Don’t under estimate your needs as well. It will be very important that you can be strong for her, but if you are shattered inside (I know I would be) you have to heal yourself in order to give to her.</p>
<p>An update…we brought our daughter home on Friday night. We spent about an hour in her dorm room packing up all the stuff that we spent all summer so excitedly buying for her dream; each item I put in a box represented one more piece of “what if” and “this shouldn’t be happening.” I tried to hold back tears and be strong the entire time. I did a fairly good job. She said very little during the packing. She was obviously extremely depressed, which came out as anger occasionally (again, obviously.) When we drove out of Ann Arbor, I asked her if she felt better now that she was actually leaving the town, and she replied “I feel nothing.” We were taking home the shell of the girl that we dropped off only 2 and a half weeks earlier.
She was void of emotion. No tears or anything. I took her to the local ER yesterday to get checked out, as advised by several calls I made. One to her counselor’s after hours emergency service (who’s after hours answering service didn’t even work!! I was FURIOUS!!) I then called the family doctor group. She hasn’t seen the actual family doctor in years, just whatever doctor is available when needed, and they suggested taking her to the ER, just to get checked out and evaluated, which I did. This might have been a total waste of time, I’m not sure. They said she had “anxiety and stress” (oh really?) and to follow up with counseling and a family doctor or psychiatrist. I plan to take her to her counselor tomorrow that she had been seeing for social anxiety disorder. My daughter admitted she did not like the counselor and had been wanting to see someone else for the past couple of years, and claims that at her last visit, when she mentioned having a lot of anxiety, the counselor replied “oh, you have that?” Oh my god, I just feel even more angry and lost after hearing that. It sounds like this counselor very likely missed the fact that she not only had severe anxiety issues, but was probably depressed, too, even before all of this happened, and should have been evaluated by the psychiatrist at the practice, at the very least. I will be taking her to her appt. tomorrow with her counselor, but I will also be asking for a referral to the psychiatrist and a referral for a new counselor. I feel totally lost, depressed, furious, guilty, you name it. To top it off, when we were at the ER and I was in the waiting room, they had the UM football game on. I asked if I could wait in a different area. I could not stop thinking that she should be there, at that game.</p>
<p>{{{{Hugs}}}}</p>
<p>With limited options over the weekend, I would have taken my D to the ER as well. </p>
<p>You are doing a great job of getting the right treatment plan in place. </p>
<p>You are also aware of all of your emotions and are expressing them clearly here, while staying strong in front of your D.</p>
<p>None of this is easy, none of this is fair, but with help, you and your D will get to a better place, a step at a time.</p>
<p>Take good care…thinking of you.</p>
<p>flowerchild1 - Sending you (((hugs))) and praying for you and your daughter. I am so sorry about what happened to her. As an earlier poster said, this could be any of our daughters. I agree with everything just said by the very wise psychmom. You are doing a great job for your daughter. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter and at the same time am incredibly impressed by how well you are handling the situation and advocating for her. Sending loads of hugs, good thoughts, and prayers your way. Know that we are all here for you when you need to vent.</p>