I know I shouldn’t have done it. But my parents wanted me to stay in the area (Northeast). Before I sent in my ED app to Lehigh I knew I loved the school but the cold weather was coming and I was having second thoughts. I told my dad that I had already gotten into a great school (Tulane) with merit money and that I’m having reservations about applying ED to Lehigh. I flat out said I didn’t want to and to go RD instead. He told me “You already told me youre applying ED here so youre doing it.” If anyone knows my dad, you know there is no arguing with him. I hesitantly signed the contract and excruciatingly painfully sent in the contractually binding app. The thing is, I love everything about Lehigh except the weather. Not that its any different from the weather where I live but Ive wanted to get away from Northeast winters for years now for college. I’m not one of those people that loves all “seasons.” I actually get pretty depressed during the winter months due to the incessant darkness and biting cold. Lately ive been praying for a deferral but I know ill get in. I just have too many hooks. I guess all I can do now is pray. Maybe Lehigh wont be so bad? I mean ive survived these winters before. But ugghhh. I despise them with all of my heart. Maybe I can transfer to USC or something? I don’t know what to expect from this community right now. Probably a lot of “youre stupid” and I probably am but I don’t know where else to turn right now
Just call them and tell them you want to back out of ED before the decisions are made. I doubt they would want to waste an acceptance on you given the change of heart even you are obliged per the agreement.
I live in the Northeast and we really do have all 4 seasons. You’ll see the most beautiful colors of leaves on trees in the fall. The winters reeeeeally haven’t been that bad here lately (no promises, but global warming). Also, vitamin D pills work miracles for helping with the depression, because they mimic the sun. My best friend swears by them. Anyway stay positive!! If you get into Lehigh I’m sure you’ll love it there, and if not you can pick any other school, you will be successful anywhere you go!!!
There is not much anyone can tell you. You agreed to apply to Lehigh ED and it doesn’t sound like you will try to get out of the ED agreement at this point.
You are not the only person on CC who has felt pressure by a parent to apply/attend a school that is not his/her first choice. Many time comments circle around if a parent has the “right” to pressure a child into choosing a school, but IMO that is pretty much a moot point right now.
Just know that college is to a large extent what you make of it. If you get into Lehigh and go with an attitude that you will be miserable and depressed there – then trust me you will be. Lehigh is a great school (and that is coming from someone whose D went to arch-rival Lafayette - LOL), it has a good social life, school spirit, strong academics etc. Many people would cherish the opportunity to attend Lehigh. All I can suggest at this point is that you get in to Lehigh that you should readjust your attitude, be grateful for the opportunity to attend such a fine school, buy a hoodie, and move forward in a positive manner. And keep in mind that you can probably take a winter semester (maybe two) in a warm place either abroad or in an program with another school in the US.
For whatever it’s worth, reading your post, I didn’t once think you are stupid. I’m sorry you didn’t have more choice. That sucks. I suggest, like WISdad23 said, contact them and try to back out. But what about Dad? Sounds complicated. In lieu of that, as happy1 said, you can make the best of it. Maybe focus on internships in California, or studying abroad somewhere cool one semester. Make longer term plans that will be something to look forward to.
I don’t usually call for deceit, but you need to call and email Lehigh right now and explain that you are being forced to ED. You will then be denied and your parents won’t be wiser. Your paretns could have a valid complaint about Tulane if you weren’t getting merit, but they are being irrational. Be fast, you still have time. CC the general admissions email address too.
Tulane is pretty expensive, so getting merit money there doesn’t mean it’s still affordable.
OP, I would not lie to your parents. Rather, I’d ask your dad to sit down and talk with you, tell him that you’d really like to move your app at Lehigh from ED to RD, and see what he says. But do it fast.
^Agree. If you are a strong enough applicant for ED, you would very likely be admitted RD. Call Admissions and request the switch to RD.
@suzy100 , Tulane with merit is certianly going to be cheaper then Lehigh without. Of course, I don’t know what kind of merit OP has been offered, but surely it offsets airfare. The problem here is that when OP signed the contract, it meant that Lehigh was his first choice above all others. This is no longer true. OP says he was having second thoughts BEFORE submitting the app. OP clearly would rather attend Tulane. Ethically, withdrawing from ED is perfectly justified. OP should perhaps ask for a meeting with his parents and the GC at school to help his parents understand why he should not apply ED, or even at all. It is obvious that OP doesn’t want to be in the Northeast.
ETA: OP should let his GC know that he wants to pull out of ED. That might take the situation out of his hands. I imagine GC will not want a student applying ED when the college is not the first choice.
I went to Lehigh and found their winters to be rather mild. But, I’m from upstate NY originally, so it’s all a matter of what you’re used to! Currently in Florida and yeah, the weather is pretty nice. Sounds to me like you’d get into Lehigh with or without ED. I agree with the poster who said you should contact them and see if you can undo that aspect. It would be nice if you could make your college decision looking at ALL the schools you’ve applied to.
What are you planning to major in?
Thanks for the help everyone. It was very useful. I’m gonna talk with my dad today. So we’ll see what happens. As for merit, I got 20k a year so it brings down total cost to around 47k compared to lehighs 63k. I’m planning to major in finance at either school.
What’s your parents ’ budget ?
I’m not in favor of deception. You are showing that you are becoming a mature adult by speaking to your dad directly. However things turn out, please take that away as a huge life positive.
You could send an email, not to retract your application, but to ask them to reject you. Explain the situation. I’m sure they’ll be understanding. They may not be able to say that they’ll reject you, but they don’t want to accept you if you don’t want to go so the result will likely end in a rejection.
I would not advise the student to ask Lehigh for a rejection. What if he or she changes his/her mind between now and May 1? Then Lehigh would be off the table.
@CapybaraQueen The OP stated he has a lot of “hooks” into Lehigh. If there are large donors/ very active alums etc. supporting the OP’s application the admission office might well contact them (one of which may in fact be the OP’s dad, we don’t know) prior to rejecting the OP. IMO being upfront is always the best policy.
I would definitely recommend talking with your parents and telling them why you really want to apply RD instead of ED. I hope they listen to you. I wouldn’t just pull the ED application behind their backs, though, or ask for a deferral. Besides being dishonest, it could have other negative consequences. Try to explain that the weather isn’t just something you don’t like, but that it’s something that makes you feel depressed. Good luck!
Were you not there for the winter of 2014/2015? Not sure about Lehigh but brutal in New England. Or the year before or a couple before that? Sure last year was mild but that’s one year.
you posted this during the summer - this story seems to be more complicated than you are saying
Lehigh is your favorite but you don’t want to go because of the weather - you dont mention your brother anymore - wasnt he the one going to Lehigh
you got merit at Tulane - you like Tulane?
things seem confusing
I’m a junior and so is my twin brother. My dad is forcing us to go to the same school. We have similar academic stats although his GPA is a bit higher. But my dream school is U of Miami and I’m interested in the business school. My brother however wants to go to Lehigh for engineering. The problem is, Miamis engineering from what I hear isn’t that good so it would be bad to ask my brother to go but it’s my dream school! I don’t see why we should be forced to go to the same school. To make matters worse, my dad wants me to apply ED to Lehigh when it’s not even my number one choice. My top two choices are Miami and Tulane which doesn’t even have computer engineering. I liked Lehigh though and if I had to go to the same school as my brother I might as well go there because it’s good academically for both of us. It’s just, I really love Miami and Tulane. Do you think my guidance counselor will be able to talk him out of it? I’m not even sure why he is so adamant on it.
Wow that feels like forever ago. @swampdraggin I mean yeah it essentially is the same. My dad is as stubborn as ever. Except now I prefer Tulane over Miami and my dad said he would let me go to Tulane (even though my brother wouldn’t go) if I didn’t get in ED to Lehigh. Not sure if it’s because he’s so confident about my chances and if I actually didn’t get in he would backtrack