<p>i didn't mean it to be a bad thing, i can understand if you wish your child didn't have some disorder, or is a big trouble maker, or something like that, but i just don't like seeing "oh i wish my child was more organized, i wish my child was more out going, i wish my child would be more appreciative of me".. to me that's like hearing, "Yeah i love my kid but i would love him/her so much more if he did those things." i think that parents (and children) should love each other for who they are. everyone has faults. maybe the kids would wish their parents would be more orgnanized, would be more appreciative, etc.. it kind of goes both ways. It just bothers me to see people wanting to change these small little items about their children... because such small "faults" can be assets as well as liabilities in that persons life, and i think we (both parents and children) need to accept that fact.. I didn't mean it as a direct attack on anyone, and i'm sorry if it came out that way, i was just saying in general, the thoughts that i mentioned above "disgust" me. maybe that's because i'm 21 and i don't have kids, who knows :) please don't hate me for it :P</p>
<p>to emerald - i wouldn't change a thing about my parents.. They are wonderful to me, and i remind them of that all the time.</p>
<p>to ctymom - i wasn't saying that I wouldn't like to change anthing about my self, or that people shou'dnt change things about them selves - its great that people take the initiative to try and change things in their life - change can be good as well as bad - but i just dont like hearing oh i wish my kid would be more this or that.. i'd like them just the way they were, small faults and all.. </p>
<p>calmom - thank you</p>
<p>to roby - yes, i am a senior at a small college in PA (i'm suprised you remembered, i don't post very often, thank you for remembering me) - for what you said, you have obviously read my posts before - haha! - update on them - i bought a new car last week! i have been very excited about it. (and - i do have a sense of humor :) ) and i know you didn't directly ask, but the reason i perfer to post on this forum, rather than on the "college life" forum, is because (no offense if any of you are reading this), but i find a lot of the topics discussed there to be rather "immature". i like the insight you guys have on things, and i think it's great that you all are on here helping each other (as well as the kids) out with the college selection process.</p>
<p>Fendergirl, thanks for the clarification. Perhaps the choice of "disgusting" was the main problem. If you read my first reply to this posting on the first page, you will see that I actually agree with you entirely where my own child is concerned. On the other hand, I don't see any reason why parents shouldn't share whatever loving concerns they have with each other. It certainly can help them when parenting is what they care about most in the world.</p>
<p>I also appreciate the clarification Fendergirl, but also agree that "disgusting" is a pretty strong and negative word to be used to refer to parents who have other parents as an audience and who are sharing concerns or frustration . Caregivers need a place where they don't need to be "perfect", and the more challenges their child has the more they need a place to let "their hair down".
I have a friend for instance that has a very very challenging child,:eek: and she occasionally jokes about leaving her when she is at camp since she is so happy there, but this mother has quit her career to fight for her child, to shuttle her to appts, to pull out of the school system the best education she can for her, she loves her child very much, but she isn't a saint, and I am exhausted just spending a few hours in charge of this young woman and I wouldnt want to think about doing it longer than that.
We don't know what anothers' reality is for them, and while we express our opinion here, we need to remember that and honor it.</p>
<p>sorry, i guess it was a bit 'extreme' of a word. anyway, like i said, i didn't mean for it to offend anybody. well i have to get going to work now, gotta pay for that new car somehow :)</p>
<p>Nothing. If I wait long enough he changes himself. </p>
<p>Just a few months ago I was wishing he would realize how talented he is-he found out and is more confident. Sometimes the things I wish would change are petty and stupid. I was so worried when he needed glasses years and years ago-then when he started drinking fluids like crazy and of course having to eliminate them. I realized glasees were nothing compared to diabetes. He was ok, it was a very hot summer, he was active and bored- the water and juices tasted good. He wasn't all that thrilled with all the medical workups though.</p>
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Nothing. If I wait long enough he changes himself.
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<p>This reminded me of when my 14 yr old was a highly spirited toddler trying to evade a diaper change. She used to shout while running through the house" don't change my diaper, change your mind!"</p>
<p>Wow! What linguistic sophistication! They are surprising sometimes.</p>
<p>My favorite precocious kid story is the one about our drive through our little downtown area when the then-three-year-old starts hanging as far out the window as the car seat would allow, shouting, "Mommy! Mommy! Help, Mommy!" as if I'M kidnapping him, all the whle laughing at me sidelong.</p>