<p>I am having second thoughts about having my son apply to an IVY ED. I am going to be brutally honest. He can be lazy. He is very capable, but is happy being an A- student. He has a long list for a resume because he would rather play (and letter has the most letters of any senior in his class) sports, play and compete in his rock band, join clubs, volunteer etc. He does not like just studying. He jokes that maybe he has a little ADD... I don't know maybe. If he has a deadline he will always get it done, I can't argue with the logic, but I also know he is not going to change. He has applied to all his EA schools and now we are doing his ED one. I have a Freshman son at this particular IVY and I asked him if he thought brother could do the work... he said yes as long as he time managed. We sat him down and asked him honestly what he thought. He said he would go there (he loves the school) but he probably wasn't going to change. So he is not the kid that would feel overwhelmed at all, he would be happy with B's and C's at this school. I guess I am rambling but are B's, C's from an IVY better than maybe (and I say maybe because I really believe the easier the workload the less he will do) than maybe a better GPA somewhere else. Chances are so slim anyway but it is binding!! Financial aid would also be a plus if he got in this school because we know exactly what we are dealing with and it was the best package for my other son (except for one lesser tier). I guess I am just looking for thoughts. I should always go back to if it is meant to be since this does seem to work??
Thanks in advance..
Mom who probably over thinks to much</p>
<p>Whale- you may be surprised to learn that schools below this “Ivy” are also filled with hard-working, hard-charging, focused kids. So the notion that a kid with time management issues is going to be an A student at (you didn’t tell us where but let’s assume you’re talking about Northwestern/JHU/Rice types of schools) is just absurd.</p>
<p>Could your son “coast” at open enrollment type colleges? My guess is yes- although clearly I don’t know your son. But every winter parents here post their concerns and anxieties about their children who didn’t have to work hard in HS who are now in colleges of all types who are hanging on by a thread. Fact is that college is fun- but virtually all colleges exist to educate their students and that’s going to require showing up for lecture, attending labs, handing in problem sets and papers, reading hundreds of pages of either textbooks or other dense material, etc.</p>
<p>Is he ready for college? Maybe a year doing something productive is a better alternative than spending a year in college joining a rock band and blowing off his classes.</p>
<p>Why not apply to the Ivy RD? I, personally don’t believe the advantage to be that great for ED when you factor out the special admits for sports and other hooks.</p>
<p>Are you allowed to send in EA apps if you send in an ED? I think not. Anyway, under all the pressure, your son may pull up his socks and take charge - college has a tendency to change and discipline students’ work habits.</p>
<p>I don’t think the term “lazy” applies to a kid who is highly motivated in sports, music, clubs, and volunteering, AND has an A- average. I would maybe skip the ED and worry less about the IVY his brother attends. Seek schools where this child can pursue his passions–somewhere he can be really excited about, not in his brother’s shadow.</p>
<p>Audrey–most ED schools allow EA applications. </p>
<p>Here’s what I think–Most college classes take extra effort to result in an A; if he is going to get B’s and C’s at the Ivy, he’s going to get them everywhere else, too. So, if he should get accepted, you might as well have that name attached to that GPA.</p>
<p>I was thinking along the same path as garland. Many successful people were not A students in college. As parents we always worry about them, but if it was my child, I would at least want to let him give it a shot rather than wonder what if later. It sounds like he wants to go there, and the financial aid would be good.</p>
<p>Blossom: That was exactly my point… I am not sure going to a lesser tier school will result in any different outcomes. I think he will do the minimum regardless of workload. And everyone else you are right… lazy was not the right word. He is actually at the gym now. He did some homework and then left. He will have soccer practice later. What he can’t do is sit and do homework for long periods of time. It is boring. He is fortunate that he can get by like this. He would never skip classes and I hope I didn’t imply that. Actually I think that is what saves him. He must listen and participate in class because he really doesn’t study for tests. Teachers love him because he does get involved during class, but he might not always do the best homework. Inspiredbymusic: That is also part of my point… He really doesn’t have a passion (well unless you consider being the next Ryan Seacrest… my son is funny and knows every trivial fact about sports, entertainment, film etc) He is well liked because he is easy going and I swear he will live to 300 because he doesn’t stress anything. What I like about this particular IVY is that it has such a broad based curriculum that I am hoping he will get inspired somewhere. I thought about a gap year but quite honestly I don’t think it will make a difference. I do believe he will be an asset to any college. He gets very involved in everything and is quite willing to try new things. Decided he wanted to pole vault Junior year never having done it before and became the 2nd best pole vaulter on the team. He will probably join the radio station at whatever school, intramural sports, clubs etc. He is a peacemaker and will be the best friend you will ever have. As you can see I love my son. He is very different from my oldest who I think stresses too much (oldest, middle child thing going here … my daughter (youngest) is somewhere in the middle). I did ask how each felt about being at the same school … they are fine with that. It is large school and being only 13 months apart they have often been together in many things. Anyway I think just by putting this down on paper and reading responses I have my answer. I am going to have apply ED and if he gets in (again long shot!!!) he will probably surprise us all as he usually does. Thanks again for all your input.
Mom who feels better about decision… and yes the financial aid is definitely a plus and why we would cross our fingers that he would get in.</p>
<p>Thank goodness your son is well rounded and has a balanced outlook. Regardless of which school he ends up, he will probably do well in life because he is learning other skills that can’t be learned in the classroom.</p>
<p>What are his career plans? If he’s planning on med school or something else that requires a high GPA, then getting Bs and Cs will be a problem.</p>
<p>Did he take the hardest curriculum? </p>
<p>BTW…are you a parent and student sharing the same screen name?</p>
<p>I see that you also posted this…</p>
<p>*
Here are my stats.
Gender: M
Race: Other - Chinese/Caucasian
Location: NJ
College Class Year: 2015
High School: Public
High School Type: sends some grads to top schools
Will apply for financial aid: Yes</p>
<p>Academics:</p>
<p>GPA - Unweighted: 0.00
GPA - Weighted: 3.95
Class Rank: top 5%
Class Size: 250</p>
<p>Scores:</p>
<p>SAT I Math: 670
SAT I Critical Reading: 620
SAT I Writing: 600
*</p>
<p>If those are your son’s stats and he’s Asian, his chances for getting into any ivies is lowish. </p>
<p>(I find it strange that with a WEIGHTED GPA of 3.95 that this student is in the top 5% at a public.).</p>
<p>Actually, your son sounds extremely bright and capable, and he may surprise you with his success at school, if not his GPA. Up to this point, he’s been spending a lot of energy on sports, but that will shift. He doesn’t sound like he blows off his obligations, and that’s important.
He reminds me of my middle son, who played sports 10 months of the year, was involved in many activities, and is super social. He simply transferred his energy to college life, not giving up the things he loved, but finding ways to fit them in, as he always has.
I think the other posters are reacting to the finality of an ED decision. Kids change a lot in senior year, and ED can be both a blessing and a curse. Consider whether your son is susceptible to friends’ influence, and whether he is prepared for the work required at a top tier college. If his HS is known for its preparation, he won’t find the transition that hard. If he is struggling with something like writing a paper, this is a good time to work on approaching college-level demands.</p>
<p>Realistically, an A- isn’t going to get you into an Ivy. My son had a solid A- from a top college prep school, some national awards, good ec’s and could barely break into a top 20 (was wait listed). We had kids with near 4.0s UWA and stellar ECs that didn’t get into an Ivy. So unless there is a major hook you haven’t mentioned, I wouldn’t sweat it.</p>
<p>OP-
I keep hearing in your posts about what YOU want , what school YOU want your s to attend, and where YOU will have him apply. What doe HE want?</p>
<p>How are his stats compared to the brother that’s already at the Ivy? In any case peer pressure once he gets into the Ivy won’t let him slack off too much if he’s prepared to do the work. If he’s accepted you can be sure that the Adcoms thought that he could do the work.</p>
<p>Read this article that’s still very pertinent:</p>
<p>It seems like you and your son are posting on this same screen name. The school’s your son is looking at seem to be much different than what you want for him. I would consider what jym626 asked you.</p>
<p>Wait a second, I don’t think this is a case where the parents want is out of step with the child. Cornell is the child reach school and his parent is having some anxiety on the prospect of getting into an Ivy. I think it is ok to have some anxiety, it is quite natural, in fact. While Ivy is not what is cracked up to be, there is a possibility that he gets into it, but I agree with many sentiments here, he will be fine one way or another.</p>
<p>I can tell from the things you described that he is a great kid and you have a very high opinion of him. There is not much else to do at this point, if he gets into Cornell, more likely than not he will do very well there.</p>