<p>Hi everyone, </p>
<p>I'm new to this site, so please bear with me... </p>
<p>In high school I was stuck in a controlling relationship and it really affected my college decision/experience. I spent my entire life planning to go to a "good" school. I worked hard with that goal in mind from elementary school until my senior year of high school. I got great grades, was highly involved, did very well on my SATs and just generally put in a ton of effort. </p>
<p>I was in a long term relationship by my senior year with a guy who told me that if I went away to school, he would not be waiting for me. I had been considering some different options, mostly schools in Philly or around NYC, but after hearing his threats for 6+ months, I decided to stay closer to home. I'm from Western PA, so I decided to apply to schools on this side of the state. My top choice was Pitt and I got in without a problem. I was told that even Pittsburgh (it's about an hour drive) was "too far." So I settled, I went to a state university in my hometown (the exact school that I vowed that I would NEVER attend). </p>
<p>Needless to say, the relationship did not last. After the breakup, I went on a downward spiral for two semesters. I never failed a class or even got a D, but my grades did suffer. I have extremely severe anxiety/depression/OCD and the stress of the breakup sent me into a tailspin. It took me a while, but I regained my footing and really considered transferring. However, I asked my parents and was told that this is an impossibility. They pay for my school costs (which are almost nothing at my current university b/c of a family tuition waiver, and refuse to help with anything more expensive...they also refuse to even fill out a FAFSA so I could not get a loan even if I tried). So basically...I'm miserable here. </p>
<p>I hate my school and I feel like I'm working towards a degree that is almost worthless (my school is not selective and has a massive "party school" reputation). It's in the town that I grew up in, so it feels like an extension of high school. I was bullied terribly in high school and it has even continued here...even three years later. Freshmen year I was so involved in my relationship/resulting breakup that I did not establish close friends or a great social life. I spend the majority of my time studying or working, and my mental health issues keep me busy too. It seems like I don't have much time to do more than study, cook, clean, work and care for myself..let alone join clubs or socialize. I wanted to join a sorority, but was promptly shot down by my parents, I was also told "No" on study-abroad and internships.. My parents feel that they should stop supporting me if I'm "wasting" my income from my job on "nonsense." </p>
<p>Soooo, I really apologize for the sob story, I honestly feel like such an idiot as I'm writing it all out, but I'm at the end of my rope here. I feel miserable, trapped, and just so overwhelmingly unhappy that I don't want to get out of bed most days. I also live everyday with feelings of tremendous guilt for even coming here...my parents were more receptive to better schools during my senior year (they feel that the three C's on my transcript mean that I would fail at another university). I do have to add in however, that I love my majors (I'm a dual degree student), so that's the only thing that I did get "right." However, my school's rural location is pretty awful for my major as far as job experience, internships, etc.</p>
<p>So I guess my question is, does anyone have any suggestions to make the next few years more bearable? Since I'm getting a dual bacc. I will be here at least one extra semester, most likely two. If anyone is even still reading this, please help me. I have exhausted all of my options and tried everything that I know to improve this situation, I'm honestly just begging for something to get better. </p>
<p>Thanks in advance for any advice, please no judgmental/rude comments (I would prefer not to be kicked while I'm down).</p>