IM, Cell phone, Text messages, HD TV and any other distractions

Parents Forum
1

<p>I can't complain much because my D's work is still very good but as Parents we do have concerns about the amount of time she spends on this stuff. Also evolving study habits such as studying in front of the PC with 8 chat windows open and both thumbs pounding out text messages might not be the best strategy for entering your Freshman year. </p>

<p>I'm wondering if Parents have the same concerns? How are you dealing with it?</p>

<p>For the kids in college what are your comments? Is it manageable or did you get in trouble and have to do something to change things up a bit?</p>

2

<p>I want to know about this too! My HS senior son studies the same way. He does very well too, so most of me says I shouldn't worry about it for college. But the part of me that worries about everything wonders about this. Maybe moreso because I am now <em>rather</em> addicted to CC myself.</p>

3

<p>If I only had cash for everytime I have said "how can you study with all those boxes going ding-ding"? And that is with the television on also with whatever is the series of the week and probably some music playing that has just been downloaded. It drives me crazy. My oldest daughter, too, did very well in high school even with all those distractions, but I kept telling her "next year" you are going to have to learn to concentrate. Next year is here, and her grades were good, but not straight A's like high school. I do think she still constantly checks FaceBook, MySpace, and Aol IM, and I do believe it is partially at fault for the grades. How can you write a paper that really requires thought with all that going on?<br>
I know I wrestle with it in my own work. Many years ago, we got interrupted for mail delivery once a day. Then faxes came along, but those were seldom. Now its "you've got mail" all day long, plus Edline, Boards for anything else you are interested in, and CC!!! It is an ADD world.</p>

4

<p>Another thing to consider is the cost. We pay for our kids to have phones (cell phones...no one seems to have a land line anymore) but we have told them that any text messaging will be on their dime. DS chose to have that feature turned off on his phone as well as all other internet access. DD, otoh, says she NEEDS texting, and opted for a $4.99 per month plan that allows for 200 text messages. She has exceeded that amount by more than DOUBLE and she will be paying the 20 cent per message overage. Her next choice is to upgrade to $9.99 for 1000 text messages. We think the whole thing is unnecessary...and expensive. So, we'll see what happens with that. It seems to us that voice mail, email, and IM should be able to keep her "connected"...and those things are "free".</p>

5

<p>AIM is a huge problem in my college studying. But then again, I'm dating a wonderful guy who lives across the country, and it is an easy and free way to keep up with each other. Sigh, pros and cons, pros and cons.
When I really HAVE to do work, I can always just unplug myself from the internet. But that does take some willpower, and generally I don't let it get to that point.</p>

6

<p>Our only rule was that he had to devote 2 hrs/day(Sun-Thur) to homework w/o interruptions that you described. Music was okay.</p>

7

<p>There are lots of pro's and con's as you said. AOL in it's quest to create something neat actually created a monster of sorts with IM. I can understand that you can't pull the plug it is that addictive. To me nothing is more important than your studies, that is were mean old Dad gets himself in trouble. About 4 years ago we pulled the plug on the upstairs PC's. I could not control then useage ie I think she is up there doing homework but you were never sure. Today the laptop resides on the desk in the corner of the kitchen were work can be somewhat monitored.</p>

8

<p>in our area the teens very rarely use the land line, or even the cell phone for anything but texting. DD1 not only did all that IM, txt, downloading, studying, she'd practice the trumpet in between. aggh.
DD2 disconnects for writing assignments, but during some math work (the textbook is online, homework problems are pulled from a website) the ding-ding,ding is constant.<br>
good think she can't pry my stiff arthritic fingers off the faster computer. it's all that CC stuff...it's for your own good DD, I'm reading about COLLEGE.
heh.</p>

9

<p>Agree with thumper that you should not fund these "distractions" (beyond the basics). So cell/text usage beyond the basic family plan should be on their nickel (or at least out of their allowance so they have to weigh and balance the cost vs. their other wants and needs). </p>

<p>HD TV? Do you mean high definition TV? I assume she won't have one in her dorm room. </p>

<p>Beyond that, I think that these distractions will not prevent a kid from doing well enough in college. I use the term "well enough" advisedly. By now your kid either cares about performing well in school or doesn't. If she does, she will devote the time necessary to do so. Her high school work may allow time for all these distractions and multi-tasking. Her college work may also. Or not. If "or not" happens, she may experience some grade shock on papers/mid-terms at first. But, if that value is there, she will make the mid-course corrections required.</p>

<p>If she doesn't have the value, that is the problem. Not the electronic distractions. Because if she doesn't have the value, she'll find different distractions - parties, sleeping through classes or whatever. Or she'll choose not to make the necessary mid-course corrections.</p>

<p>My own S is one of these online multi-taskers. Several IM conversations going at once plus maybe music plus maybe the TV. He doesn't let them get in the way of doing "well enough" by his own standards. Good enough for him seems to be about a 3.25 in a tough, tough Engineering curriculum. </p>

<p>Do I think he could do better if he allocated his time differently? I do. But the balance is his choice. I am satisfied with his decision about what the balance should be, since his own standards of what he finds acceptable academic performance satisfies me.</p>

<p>The real question is what I would, should or could do if he didn't have that value? If he was skating along at a 2.5, for example, or courting academic disaster with a 1.9 or whatever. </p>

<p>That is a tough nut for parents to crack. I think you probably need to establish your expectations before they head off to Freshman orientation and see whether yours and theirs are a match. A talk about how they might find college coursework a tougher not to crack, and whether they've thought about how they'd adjust, could head off a problem before it occurs.</p>

<p>We had that conversation with DS - not in the context of damping down his e-habit, but in the context of realizing that schools now have all kinds of academic support from prof ofc hours to study groups to study support centers to tutoring. And that he should feel no reluctance to avail himself of it. </p>

<p>I'm not sure a talk (lecture?) about damping down his e-habit would have had any positive effects. I wasn't sure the talk we <em>did</em> have would have any positive effects. But it turns out he did hit a wall with a very tough course last term - a first for him. And he took some (not all) of the steps we'd talked about. Brought himself up from fear of failing to way better than that (but still the lowest grade he's ever received, a C+). Did our talk have anything to do with it? Who knows?</p>

10

<p>I always felt that my son was addicted to the distraction of IM and the internet and this would lead to his failure in college. I was more or less correct. We can't imagine sending our kids off to college without a computer, nor can we imagine a dorm room without a cable internet connection. The best thing that happened to my son was his computer crashed, which forced him to go to the library to study, using their computer free from the distractions of IM and internet.</p>

11

<p>In college, most people talk all the time about all the distractions while studying. The thing is, students often use their computers for their work (or to look up the assignment, get a word's definition, take notes, etc.), and students keep their phones close for calls about dinner or a question about the paper or, sometimes, just chat. I have mixed feelings. I know I could be more productive without many of these things, but if I'm doing work pretty much from the time classes get out until I go to bed, I'm going to want some distractions from time to time to keep me sane. The trick is finding a balance (not like I've done this, but I'm pretty sure it's the goal!). If a college student feels he or she really needs to get certain work done, a good student can go to the library or close the computer or just force him/herself to work. </p>

<p>I'm not sure what you can do for a 9th grader. We had one family computer (and each kid gets a laptop for high school graduation) downstairs, so the computer was just for papers and taking breaks. Maybe get a cell phone plan with fewer texts, or tell her that she needs to pay for texts above a certain number or for a certain percentage of the bill--that should get her to limit her texts to the more important ones. </p>

<p>I did have a TV in my room, which I kept on while I did all homework that wasn't strictly reading. My parents didn't like it, but I had high grades, and I just liked having it in the background. I usually just turned on CNN while I did my work, so it wasn't anything too distracting.</p>