I’m 2 months away from being a senior and I still don’t have that many friends to hang out with outside of class. How do I make some more friends, as a soon to be senior so I can achieve my “squad goals”?
So I transfer to my current university last year and I have only made a few friends so far and my social life is close to none. I go to a big party school and the scene around town is always active/booming. And yet I found myself bored out of my mind on the weekends! I mean I’m a easy going person but I don’t know why I am not making that many friends to hang out with on the weekends. I would like to have some friends to go out to the bars or do something with on the weekends.
You say you talk to people in class, correct? Ask these acquaintances/friends at the end of class if they’d like to go grab lunch with you. Once at lunch, you can start to get to know them outside of usual classroom matters (homework, upcoming exams, etc.) Ask them questions about how they’ll be spending their summer, if they’ve seen any interesting movies, etc. Maybe get their phone numbers (I find it’s a lot easier sometimes to turn a conversation from formal to more personal/laid back through text message.)
A good thing to remember is that (most) people like when others reach out to them in a friendly matter. No one is going to resent you for inviting them to lunch or for trying to strike up a conversation. People don’t have “friendship quotas” - people will keep making friends their entire life, so don’t be intimidated by the idea that people at your school aren’t “looking” for more friends just because they’ve made a lot of friends in their freshman year.
Good luck!
Maybe this my problem or not. But I feel “weird” if I ask people if they want to hang or go have lunch if we just met or barely know each other. And the people that are usually in my classss are upperclassmen so they would already have their social circle, and trying to get into someone social circle has not been easy for me.
Making friends is so random. You won’t make them while sitting in your bedroom. How did I make mine:
One was a neighbor I gave french bread to. Another was a classmate I talked to about my love of stargazing and invited to go to the desert with me. Another was a classmate of a classmate I was studying with. I did not know him at first, but later he sent me tutoring clients. At one point we finally talked about the right issues and realized we had a lot in common. We clicked after that.
It really is so random. You have to say the right thing at the right time to click. The acquaintance you know might not know some fact about you that really makes you two click. She might not know you like her that way. You might not know you will like her. The act of liking and letting them know that is a smooth way, combined with the commonalities, just happens. You just have to put yourself out there a bit.
Also, do not get desperate and be friends with someone bad just for company. Spending time with that person will make you more like them, and others will assume you are like them. The time you spend with them is time you could have been meeting others. On the other hand, meeting anyone could bring you to meet someone they know. You have to network a bit.
I’ve been in dry spells. They come and go. That is life. At your age, you are so zoomed in on the present and don’t know about the peaks and valleys to come.
As for weirdness, it is only weird for a minute. It could turn out great. Try to find some commonality right there on the spot before asking them to hang out. Then it won’t be weird. While you have their attention, talk to them. Screen them.
Fact: Many people are not a match for you. Do not get upset if the one you ask is not. That is not your failure. That is just you having screened one. Talk to the next. Then if you click a bit, invite them out to do something. If they say yes, get their number or facebook so you can coordinate. Do not ask for a number to call to ask. Ask for the number after you ask them in person if they want to hang out.