I'm not happy here, Mom

<p>Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your son – he knew he could open up to you, and more importantly, you listened. So thoughtful of you to come back and share the outcome. Best wishes and enjoy your time with him while you have him!</p>

<p>I have tears in my eyes reading all your kind, supportive responses. It means so much to hear all these insights and stories. Choatiemom your story of walking away from something that wasn’t right for you really resonates. I am full of gratitude for the help and non-judgmental wisdom I’ve received here.</p>

<p>I’d be happy to check in down the road and let you know how it all goes. Wishing all the best to all of you and your children.</p>

<p>@calhockeymom…having lived through multiple prep schools for hockey with my own sons and having MANY friends with kids in junior hockey/prep, I would say that both options offer choices for college, as long as it is not major junior hockey in Canada as you lose your NCAA eligibility. In prep hockey, unless you are very strong player, many colleges are still asking you to play junior hockey before coming to college. </p>

<p>Junior year is absolutely the hardest year by far in prep. Entering prep school during that year and adding on all the change (environment, social, academic) can be daunting for even the most grounded kids. My kids entered in Junior year but I think entering in grade 10 is far easier.</p>

<p>Ultimately if your son was so unhappy, he would not excel in hockey or school so coming home was probably best option. I think it is excellent for parents to be aware that prep school is not the best option for all students and to learn from reading this thread.</p>

<p>Just an update as we have some good news! My son has been playing for a AA team here and going to our local high school. Most of the boys at his level have left home for AAA teams or prep school. However his team went to a AA/AAA tournament and my son and a couple of his teammates were scouted by some very good junior teams and invited to try out! So he is basically, in terms of his athletics, in a very similar place to where he would have been staying at his prep school or going to play AAA and living away from home. We’ll see how it all pans out. There are many twists and turns between here and college but my son is feeling motivated and confident and that makes me happy. I’m glad I’ve had this year and a half with him to see him grow up. I do think he learned a lot from the brief prep school experience and it brought us all closer as a family. Next time he goes away we will all have a lot more tools to deal with the inevitable bumps. Thanks again CC friends!</p>

<p>Great news!</p>

<p>Thanks! Rereading the thread I realize that I hadn’t talked about how depressed he really was, which we found out in the months after he came home. We knew he had lost weight but he told me that he lost his appetite and wasn’t eating. His entire personality changed and he was described by people at the school as “a quiet kid” something that had never been said about him before. He was even having suicidal thoughts. This is a kid who has always been loud, gregarious, and positive. So I definitely feel that we made the right decision in our situation. Happily, it appears not to have had any lasting impacts.</p>

<p>@calhockey, my advice would be for you to call the BS health center and make an appointment for your S to meet regularly with a counselor. </p>

<p>Advisors are usually teachers or coaches that live in the dorm. They are not professional counselors.</p>

<p>hasta: calhockeymom is describing what her son went through over a year and a half ago. If you read through the thread, you will understand the journey. All is well now, and that is what calhockeymom came back here to share. Again, congrats to you and your son, calhockeymom, and thanks for coming back to share your wonderful update. All the best!</p>