International with no SAT experience, please grade my essay

<p>Hi everyone. I am taking the SAT for the first time tomorrow and I am not sure exactly how an SAT essay is supposed to look. If anyone could please give mine a quick glance and tell me how it is? Thanks in advance.</p>

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Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect our communities or the nation in general?</p>

<p>People need to take more responsibility for the world in which they live. Several examples of notable people from around the world clearly demonstrate that the world becomes a better place when individuals, rather than governments, take charge.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by the actions of Rosa Parks and the Montgomery Bus Boycott, individuals taking responsibility leads to a more accepting world. The government of the time refused to give coloured people and white people equal rights. People could have simply sat back, dejected, and given up. However, it was through the power of individuals such as Rosa Parks that the problem was solved. She, and countless others like her, rose up and effected change in a way the government refused to. This demonstrates that the power of the individual is enormous and therefore people should take more responsibility for problems that affect their communities.</p>

<p>The actions of Fred Hollows and his foundation improved the lives of thousands of Indigenous Australians in a way that no government ever could, or did. Fred Hollows, an ophthalmologist, saw that many Aborigines were going blind from easily treatable cataracts. The lack of funding and hospitals in rural Australia meant that they could not seek adequate treatment. Fred Hollows moved his entire life out into the country in an effort to give sight back to those who had previously had so much stripped away. While the government stood aside and watched, Hollows built from the dust a multimillion dollar organisation, and in doing so solved a tragic problem. This clearly shows that the power of the individual is greater than of governments and therefore people should step up and solve the problems passed over by the hands of bureaucrats and policy-makers.</p>

<p>Individuals may not have the same resources as a government, but as the actions of Rosa Parks, Fred Hollows and countless others illustrate, the will of individuals can solve world-changing problems. This shows that more people need to step up and take responsibility for our world.

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