Interracial Dating in college?

<p>On the bright side, I think these issues will improve over time. I am hopeful that the younger generation (us?) will be much more open minded.</p>

<p>I am Russian, and my boyfriend is best friends with another Russian girl. There was this one time when she told her parents that she had a crush on a black man she met at work. Her parents became absolutely furious. My boyfriend was upset by this when his friend told him about her problem. He has met her parents before, and felt as if they looked down on him as a physicist (they are physicists, which is what he is majoring in). At the time I still hadn’t told my parents that we were dating, so I did, and they were completely fine with it (I love my parents). It’s an interesting, mirrored situation…my Russian parents are fine with their Russian daughter dating a black man, but then another pair of Russian parents completely reject the idea. Granted, my parents are not religious and her parents are Jewish, perhaps they want their daughter to marry somebody Jewish.</p>

<p>What really upset my boyfriend was the fact that those kind of people will be interviewing him for jobs in the future, and possibly judging his level of intelligence based on his race.</p>

<p>My uncle was married to a Russian model (she was drop-dead gorgeous). Yeah, he screwed that up and has downgraded so much with his new girlfriends lol.</p>

<p>I’ve noticed that parents (Asian, Mexican, Native American, etc.) are usually okay with their sons dating black women but loathe black men. I do not know why.</p>

<p>"Not all African American women are fat single mothers, but collegehelllp seems to think they are “a huge chunk” of the African American population. According to some logic, it’s fair to go either way…</p>

<p>…my mind is blown. I just hope people like collegehelllp aren’t prevalent. S/he says those are “facts”. I wonder if s/he has ever looked at the underlying “facts”." - applicannot </p>

<p>What the hell are you on? I mean honestly, what in the world could you possibly be talking about? </p>

<p>“According to some logic, it’s fair to go either way…” </p>

<p>What? Logic? Underlying facts? You must have a tough time articulating your actual argument, because I have no clue what the is supposed to mean.</p>

<p>80% of all African American women over the age of 20 are overweight or obese.</p>

<p>54%, THE MAJORITY, of African American women over the age of 20 are OBESE.</p>

<p>51% of African American families have a female “householder” with no spouse present, meaning that THE MAJORITY of black women are single mothers. </p>

<p>40% of female headed African American families fall below the poverty line.</p>

<p>So, in recap, most black women in the United States are morbidly obese and single mothers, with four out of ten being poor as well. </p>

<p>I am not being racist, these are facts supporting my argument that African American women, for whatever reason, have many undesirable traits. </p>

<p>Someone noted that there are more black male/white female couples than white male/black female couples, reasoning that African American women are jealous or some crap along those lines. Instead of agreeing with that random, unsubstantiated trash, I used actual logic. </p>

<p>I would like to thank some of you for pointing out that there exist some black women who are not poor, fat, or single. Thanks again. </p>

<p>[Obesity</a> and African Americans - The Office of Minority Health](<a href=“http://www.omhrc.gov/templates/content.aspx?ID=6456]Obesity”>http://www.omhrc.gov/templates/content.aspx?ID=6456)</p>

<p>[Comparisons</a> between whites and African-Americans](<a href=“http://www.runet.edu/~junnever/bw.htm]Comparisons”>http://www.runet.edu/~junnever/bw.htm)</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.census.gov/population/www/mosedo/race/black.html[/url]”>http://www.census.gov/population/www/mosedo/race/black.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>No. You’re clearly using statistics as an excuse. </p>

<p>“All black women are fat, poor, social rejects. What do you mean you’re offended? these statistics say it’s true.”</p>

<p>There are probably statistics about birthing mental defective children in middle-aged adults, but don’t expect them to smile and agree with you when you spend five minutes Googling “facts” to prove their children are ■■■■■■■■.</p>

<p>What I meant by underlying facts is reasons why these statistics are so bloated. It’s certainly not that they aren’t true. It’s a matter of - surprise - arrogance.</p>

<p>

Obesity and weight issues are often measured in a body’s percentage of fat. Women of African descent, because of genetics and body type, carry more fat than women of other descents (the same goes for Indian women, but not Caucasian women - my friend was 100 pounds at age 12 standing at 5’3" and was considered “obese” because her percentage of body fat was too high, as an Indian - I’m not sure what the rates are). If you look at the following website, you’ll see that the figures for Caucasian people are not much different. Obesity for African Americans is considerably higher, but rates for being overweight is not - and some “overweight” African American women fall into the trap above.
[American</a> Obesity Association - AOA Fact Sheets](<a href=“http://obesity1.tempdomainname.com/subs/fastfacts/Obesity_Minority_Pop.shtml]American”>http://obesity1.tempdomainname.com/subs/fastfacts/Obesity_Minority_Pop.shtml)</p>

<p>I believe you said this somewhere, but rates of obesity and overweight in minorities is directly linked to the fact that those who are poor have worse health care and generally choose the cheaper (less healthy) food options. Minorities - ANY MINORITY, including American Indians and Hispanics - have higher rates of obesity and overweight men and women. This is one of the underlying problems I was talking about. Maybe not you, but a lot of people are quick to say oh, minorities are fat because of this this and this, when that’s not true.</p>

<p>

This has just as much to do with black MEN as it does black WOMEN - as well as access to healthcare and sex education and POOR parenting. You might also find this interesting:</p>

<p>"Since 1990, births have declined among African-American teens and risen among white teens, who comprise two-thirds of teen mothers.
Read more: <a href="http://family.jrank.org/pages/1574/Single-Parent-Families-Demographic-Trends.html#ixzz0HwSc7eOm&C"&gt;http://family.jrank.org/pages/1574/Single-Parent-Families-Demographic-Trends.html#ixzz0HwSc7eOm&C&lt;/a&gt;"&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Hmm, that doesn’t make white women sound so attractive, either. Heck, two thirds of all teen mothers are white. Better stay away from white women!</p>

<p>

31% of all female-headed white families fall below the poverty line, as well.
[Single-Parent</a> Families - Economics Of Single-parent Family Life](<a href=“Single-Parent Families - Economics Of Single-parent Family Life - Gender, Poverty, Mothers, and Support - JRank Articles”>Single-Parent Families - Economics Of Single-parent Family Life - Gender, Poverty, Mothers, and Support - JRank Articles)</p>

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Racism is about perpetuating stereotypes. As much as the black community is perpetuating their own stereotypes, you are doing so as well. There are always “facts” to back up racist thinking. For example, in Germany, it was FACT that Jewish families were richer than other German families. During Reconstruction, it was FACT that blacks - often unemployed, impoverished, or had other negative features - were a “menance to society”. As for sexism, it is a FACT that women have less muscle capability than men. It is a FACT that women miss more work than men. There are a lot of FACTS out there. And yes, FACTS perpetuate stereotypes - that’s why their stereotypes. We all know stereotypes exist. I had thought it was part of “growing up” that we could throw off pre-defined stereotypes and try to start over. But if we think that “all black women have undesirable traits”, that’s not going to change any time soon.</p>

<p>I don’t think we are getting anywhere by arguing who’s fat and who’s not. Move on.</p>

<p>Fat people are sooooooo fat.</p>

<p>And this is what is wrong with america congrats guys.</p>

<p>Just b/c a spouse isn’t present doesn’t mean she’s a single mother. A lot of people live together but don’t get married until they feel like it. Collegehelllp, it seems as if you have a problem with African-Americans.</p>

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<p>That’s not so much AMs being against IR dating as it is complaining about a subset of AFs who only date WMs.</p>

<p>If you really think about it, it’s the AFs like that who have a “warped” view of dating (note: the no. of AFs who date BMs or non-white HMs is miniscule; but to be fair, one can say the same thing about AMs as well, or for that matter, whites of both genders).</p>

<p>Also, BMs didn’t like the film “Something New” which depicted a BF ending up w/ a WM, despite the fact that BMs venture outside their race much more commonly than BFs - so some of it can be chalked up to the territorial instincts of males.</p>

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<p>Wanting your child to marry within his/her ethnicity is not racist (tho, maybe unreasonable in this day and age), but rather people just wanting to see their cultural or religious heritage maintained.</p>

<p>There are plenty of Italian, Greek, Russian, Jewish, etc. Americans who like to see their kids marry another Italian, Greek, etc.</p>

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<p>Definitely not the case for Asian parents (generally speaking).</p>

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<p>Yes - the US has its problem regarding race, etc., but it’s not like it’s any better in Europe or SAmerica in many ways.</p>

<p>At least we don’t have fans at soccer/football stadiums throwing banana peels and making monkey/ape noised whenever a black player touches the ball (then again, we don’t have many fans going to soccer games here, but you get my point).</p>

<p>In France, it is forbidden by law to break down or classify any group by race (basically, there is no racial distinction observed by the state) and yet black , Asian and Arab French are relegated to the slums and have a much more difficult time getting access to higher education, good jobs, positions in govt., etc.</p>

<p>As for SAmerica, they don’t look at things in a black/white manner that we do in the States and instead, social hierarchy is based on skin tone - the darker you are, the lower you are on the social ladder.</p>

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<p>Vigore - stop putting WFs on a pedestal, that’s pathetic!</p>

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<p>Actually, I think collegehelllp has uplifted an otherwise boring and superficial thread. Whenever there is a touchy topic like ‘interracial dating’, it gets clogged by fuzzy anecdotes and diatribes. That’s fine if you’re looking for a big PC circle-jerk, just don’t frame it as anything more. But when someone actually tries to answer the question, he must be a ‘moron’ and a ‘failure of the education system’.</p>

<p>I was surprised at the outrage his original post provoked, so I would ask the bashers to look at what he actually said. From what I can see, people are putting words into his mouth and extrapolating from there. What I got out of his post was this: black women are particularly impoverished, and impoverishment plus its correlates (namely, obesity) disadvantage black women in the mating game. Then he provided the corresponding statistics. No causation for how the facts got to be this way, no prescription for acting on these facts, and no misconstrual of what the facts mean. Just the freaking facts and a straightforward logical progression from impoverishment → obesity → unattractiveness, addressing one of the thread’s major concerns (he didn’t bring up black women and their shortcomings in the dating scene, other people did).</p>

<p>It seems like the posters in this thread are quick to see racism where it does not exist. And yes, it is racism that these posters are inflamed about, though they try to rationalize it all as a response to stupidity. Come on. I’ve seen stupid posters on these forums, and collegehelllp is not one of them. And I’ve rarely seen personal attacks on this level. His analysis is obviously brief and requires much detail, but that’s why he posted it in a forum for further discussion. I actually agree with several objections brought up so far. But most of the crap-slinging exhibited above, I think, says more about the PC bloc than they do about collegehelllp’s argument. Case in point, the post right above:</p>

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<p>Do you have a sense of irony? Granted, the statistics could have been obtained with an inexact methodology. I see your point there. Then you should blame the organization that produced them, not a poster on a forum who never purported to offer an expert opinion. But no, of course not, let’s let our prejudices get in the way. Someone might have misinterpreted statistics – in a way that leads to a conclusion you find unsatisfactory – racism! And this is not all. Steady accusations of “collegehelllp believes ALL black women are poor”, in spite of clear evidence of the contrary, smacks of the following illogic: “Because racists use facts, all people who use facts are racists”.</p>

<p>Let’s get one thing straight: facts =/= stereotype. A fact is: 80% of blacks are overweight or obese. A stereotype is: all blacks are overweight or obese. These are pretty mutually exclusive. </p>

<p>What’s really funny, BeautifulNerd et al, is that political correctness is just another strand of the very ignorance that leads to racism. To me, racism is the dismissal of facts in service of blind sentiments – but so is political correctness. The racist dismisses twin studies that suggests inter-racial intelligence differences are due to nurture, finding minor holes and flaws (which inevitably exist) in service of their racist sentiments. BeautifulNerd, meanwhile, dismisses obesity statistics and conducts character assassinations in service of her PC sentiments. Funny that the latter might, in different circumstances, fill the shoes of the former.</p>

<p>But if this thread is specifically for gratuitously patting yourselves on the back and bemoaning the state of race relations, oh well, carry on.</p>

<p>Ahh so this is where the people with subpar intelligence come to chat. Means I’m not welcomed.</p>

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<p>What collegehelp FAILS to do is put the stats in proper context.</p>

<p>Yes - 78% of BFs are overweight, but then so are 58% of WFs, a clear majority, and yet, we don’t generally have an image of WFs being fat, unattractive, etc. thanks to the endless images of pretty and thin WFs by Hollywood and Madison Ave.</p>

<p>On the other end, WMs are more overweight than BMs (68% to 60%) and yet, WMs are clearly at the top on the social/dating hierarchy.</p>

<p>^^</p>

<p>Weight has a lot more importance in the perception of women than men.</p>

<p>Americans are just fat in general. The country isn’t exactly known for housing a slender bunch.</p>

<p>Yep, I guess that’s one thing that unites America - Black, White, Red, Brown, we’re a bunch of chunky monkies. :stuck_out_tongue: (not asians, those folks are thin). I’m surprised we haven’t been taken over by China yet…we would probably hand over our nukes in exchange for a lifetime supply of dumplings…:eek:</p>

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<p>True, but women of prime dating age are generally looking for guys who are in decent shape, if not sporting 6-pack abs.</p>

<p>The no.1 reason for young males to use steroids is not for sports; it’s to bulk up and get cut in order to impress the ladies.</p>

<p>I believe society and media have somehow conditioned the way people contruct a image of his/her prefect match in his/her subconscience, and that occurs in the early age of our life. </p>

<p>Usually mother/father’s image give a new borned male/female a rough model for their future spouse because mother/father is the first op-sex we ever encounter in our life. This explains why in the old times people tend to date within same race.</p>

<p>However recently the media designed for kids gave them a additional conditioning, especially those disney styled prince-save-princess-fairy-style, those characters are usually white, so that prints a image of a “perfect match” in little baby girl’s mind. </p>

<p>this affects less to none for males because boys are not used to watch those girlie stuff. So, in resume, AFs, BFs wills more ok to date with WMs, while AM and BM are generally looking for their own race, also because WFs are also affected by this, so WFs are not looking other races that makes AM/WF couple even more unusual. </p>

<p>Obviously this effect is little when other bigger factor comes in, such as a xtremely good looking asian male will eventually get gfs of all races,… etc, but it might be a cause.</p>

<p>btw I am a asian male and had dated a WF and a BM… not any AFs…</p>

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I was surprised to read this based on experience, so I Googled it, and it’s not more common than the other way around. When Blacks/Whites marry, it’s 2.65 times more likely for it to be Black guy/White woman than the other way around.</p>

<p>hmm i dont look for abs.</p>

<p>what wrong with a woman? regardless of her color? i think some people need to get out that box where they believe that slimmer women attract males. i mean of course they do there’s no denying that but im a thick girl myself and im pretty proud of it and and i have attracted ALL types of males cause when it comes down to it, looks can only so far…</p>