Is anyone willing to grade my essay?

<p>Starting to make a final run of prep before taking my last SATs - first essay since Jan. SATs...</p>

<p>It's the diagnostic essay in Barron's SAT:</p>

<p>ASSIGNMENT: What are your thoughts on the idea that television has turned out to isolate people instead of bringing them together?</p>

<p>Essay: The television has been one of the biggest inventions in the past century. Every minute, throughout the globe, millions of people turn on their television to tune in to the local news, a sporting event, or shows for entertainment. Television, initially, had a uniting force that brought communities together as the availability of the television was fairly low. Although it isn't unconventional to find a home with several televisions today, the electronic device is now a unifying force far greater than ever before.</p>

<pre><code> Every four years millions of people across the glove tune in to watch the biggest sporting event in the world, the Olympics. Although only a couple thousand are fortunate enough to actually view the Olympics, the television is a unifying force that allows the whole globe to be on the same page. Never before in history have people simultaneously across the world done the same thing until the television allowed us to. Initially, the television was a communal unifying force. But today, it is an international unifying force.

  In America, a country where there is no paucity for leisure, football and baseball have been popularized to pass time. Every major game today is viewed by millions at home, but also by many more in sport bars, where people gather to view the event together with friends and family. Although the large availability of the television makes isolation of people more feasible, the unity that television first brought out among people has not reached a cessation; instead, it continues to unify people on a larger scale.

 The television has become so popularized that it is anomalous in society to not own one. Although the initial small availability has once brought together neighborhoods of people, today, the larger availability brings together the whole globe.

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<p>Pls guis ;(</p>

<p>I would give it a 8 or so, your second example is kind of similar with the first one… don’t you think?</p>

<p>I agree, 8 sounds about right, but it may very a point either way depending on the grader. Little weak on the sentence structure and word variance, but I understood your message.</p>