Is anyone's S or D not freaking out, obsessing, etc.?

<p>At the gym this a.m., a dad who has a next year 11th grader asked me about "THE PROCESS." I gave him the CC website.</p>

<p>Also, for what its worth, in fall 1967 I applied to one school (Emory) for admission in 1968. I received an acceptance I believe before the end of 1967. I don't recall essays (I may be wrong). </p>

<p>My S is 4 for 4 acceptances and has (I believe) already narrowed the field to a front runner. He's just kept the grades up, done a play and continued his cross country participation and his tutoring job. I cannot complain, but it does seem that I (and apparently a lot of parents--including other dads) am doing all the heavy lifting on the worrying.</p>

<p>Count me in with the obsessed. At first I was nervous over the acceptances for D. Once they started rolling in, it became the financial aid packages (still is, actually). Now, it's "where are you actually going to go?" and "how can we realistically go to more than one accepted student's program?" Still waiting on the answers to those.</p>

<p>DS is currently a Junior, so I get to do it all over again next year! Maybe a bit more prepared this time. He's actually shown some interest in a couple of colleges.</p>

<p>Well, I am a father, and I don't quite have a "relaxed, whatever-happens-it-will-be-OK mindset". Neither does my son. I admit to feeling more tension than he does, but I think he's feeling a good bit of tension, and trying to ignore it as best he can. </p>

<p>Unfortunately, he's at a week-long program out of town with two of his friends, both girls, with whom he is extremely competitive. The three of them are all pretty similar in many respects, and he has four overlapping schools with one of them and six with the other. (And "the other" is not even remotely laid back -- you could use her tension to power your house.) There's also the remnants of some past romantic tension in the mix with both of them. I am sure that his worst fear is to be humiliated in front of them. So I suspect that by Thursday afternoon he is going to be pretty wound up. In a way, it's good that he's not here (although watching his little telenovela play out with his friends would at least give me some comic relief).</p>

<p>In the final analysis, both of us know that whatever happens, it will be OK. I am confident that's where he'll be a week from now. Me, too.</p>

<p>JHS </p>

<p>I know that S has mentioned that there is a real awareness at his school (prep, all boys 87 member senior class) about who is accepted, waitlisted, rejected. </p>

<p>A really interesting dynamic is where the college requires that another student write a REC for the applicant. My S wrote a REC for a friend for Dartmouth and the friend got in ED. My S applied RD at Dartmouth and that friend wrote my S's REC. I'll be interested to see how that plays out.</p>

<p>Both my S and his GF applied to Columbia. She got acepted ED. He applied RD. There may be some ego adjustment if he doesn't get accepted at Columbia since he tutors GF in math.</p>

<p>BurnThis, but you don't have as many posts as me, so you can't be a true addict. ;)</p>

<p>I hate the waiting as much now as I did 34 (!) years ago. My son seems pretty relaxed too. Although he's admitted that maybe he actually needs to do a little more homework now that he's not into his first choice.</p>

<p>lizbarr - "this one looks good" - lol - I drove my mom crazy with the exact same sentence when we shopped for wedding dresses many moons ago. She was obsessed and wanted to look everywhere, I wanted the whole thing over as quickly as possible.</p>

<p>D is playing it very cool, but I think under the surface she's a seething mass of emotions. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but I do think she's starting to get nervous. </p>

<p>I gave her the mailbox key yesterday and instructed her to check the box when she gets home from school every day. I said, "I would rather you get the results first." She had a stricken look on her face, but she did take the key. We are lucky in that she has made it into four schools already and has even gotten a full scholarship to one of them. But her three reaches are ahead, and it is kind of exciting (at least now) to see what the mail will bring each day. Excitement now...depression later! D knows it's a tough year, and she's prepared for rejections.</p>

<p>Just_Browsing</p>

<p>Did he start in the summer session? That's when I started.</p>

<p>My son still has 5 schools to hear from, but since he is now in at 3 he would love, my tension on that is much lower. But how to plan re-visits when we don't know where all he's accepted and some are on the opposite coast...that is a puzzler.</p>

<p>I have heard from all 8 schools. Accepted at 7; one wait-list. Of the sven accepts 4 gave merit. Still waiting on full financial aid data from the seven accepts. Dad asks me if I have any preference at the top 4 schools. As three of the seven accepts are safeties. I have no answer, so it drives him crazy. Although two of the four front runners offered significant merit, so Dad knows those two are the most likely.</p>

<p>Your mood/elation/rejection rise and fall with correspondence. Now anxiously awaiting full financial aid data. As lack of aid is tantamount to being wait-listed. We like you (wait-list) but not as much as others. They can use financial aid awards to acconplish the same thing. As lack of an adequate aid package is the same as being wait-listed. It tells you they lilke you a little, but not enough to make a major commitment.</p>

<p>Now that i'm going through the transfer app process i've realized how calm i was last year...i applied to all large powerhouse engineering schools with no safeties ...never once flinched, even checked decisions the day before my birthday(exactly a year ago yesterday, infact, i found out i got into my current school) . Now, i can't wait for the transfer decision day, and i'm so nervous. =( I guess i realized this time around that the decision will affect the rest of my life!</p>

<p>2 years ago were agony as first child received rejection from the ED deferral and 2 big reaches. All else was good news, but still...the dream school did not come in and that news was available on line. The mad dash home to check the site at the precise hour...YIKES. We have learned so very much since then, and would have done much differently.</p>

<p>Nothing to look for this time-second child has known since last fall, literally a slam dunk, punn intended. The siblings are like night and day in some regards, yet so similar in others. This one, one school, never a second thought. Needless to say, I'm keeping a low profile this week as I know what the other senior households are going through and I can't help but breath a sigh of relief that we got to dodge that drama this time around.</p>

<p>Not to worry, though, we've got one more waiting in the wings. The greatest challenge still awaits us in our house. Sigh.</p>

<p>My best to you all as you get through this. Come graduation, all will be good and you'll be on to other "issues".</p>

<p>I find that between acceptance/rejection and aid/no aid, the latter is more intensely stressful. </p>

<p>I want my S to be able to attend college where ever he wants, but he and I have had no problem seeing that acceptance/rejection is in part a subjective and yield driven process. So that has not been a sourse of my craziness.</p>

<p>On the other hand, the no financial aid gives me the "on the outside looking in" feeling. S seems to have no problem gracefully accepting that cost is a factor, while I still agonize over whether to go beyond my stated financial commitment to "make it happen."</p>

<p>My s was also the slam dunk, applied to one school where he was an auto admit and was happy as a clam after that. He also applied for the honors program in his major and I thought he didn't care about it, he acted that way. But, he started checking the mailbox and complaining that he hadn't gotten "rejected" yet. He was a long shot and he knew it.</p>

<p>When he finally got that expected rejection, I think he was relieved if only from not having to think about it anymore! He is psyched to go to that university and the honors program would only have been the cherry on an already delicious sundae :)</p>

<p>
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On the other hand, the no financial aid gives me the "on the outside looking in" feeling. S seems to have no problem gracefully accepting that cost is a factor, while I still agonize over whether to go beyond my stated financial commitment to "make it happen."

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<p>Many of us are in that position, O7DAD! We haven't gotten fin aid letters yet for some schools, but from what I've read here, many colleges are cheaping out. It's going to be a tough decision.</p>

<p>Oh, I am sooooo GLAD I decided to check out thet "parents" part of CC today, usually I don't come to this section, but I am glad I did.... I can see now that I am not alone!! I thought I was the only parent who had become obsessed with CC.... not only with the colleges, because of my, yes very laid-back (almost comatose) son, but also with my younger son who was applying to prep school!! So we had many applications going on at this house, and I have been on CC a lot! Luckily, prep school decisions came out on the 10th, and soon, college decisions will all be out, and then we can start freaking out about how to pay for it all...... tell me again.. why did I have kids???!!! ;)</p>

<p>This thread is a great tie-in to something I just posted on Parent's Cafe. It's called "Parents: Advice Needed Desperately." Please read it and provide your input. Thanks!</p>

<p>
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...while I still agonize over whether to go beyond my stated financial commitment to "make it happen.

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<p>07dad: If this is your first child to go to college, all I can say is, be careful...be very careful. The college bill seems to come constantly. It's a marathon of very careful planning. Don't underestimate it.</p>

<p>weenie-- thanks for the heartfelt warning.</p>

<p>Actually, I'm lucky. When S's PSAT scores came in it was clear he'd make finalist. I told him congradulations and gave him the list of NM full ride schools. I made it clear that if he wanted to go somewhere other than on the list he'd need to make every possible effort to get maximum merit money.</p>

<p>He has done just that and I think that he is going to choose the school that gave him the most $$. It has been very interesting. He seems extremely pleased that he is (probably) going to get what he wants (private college) and has been able to "pay" for some of it with his accomplishments (merit level scores, EC's etc). </p>

<p>I need to mention that he made his list of school to which he applied. I stressed that he should (1) make this list on his own and (2) have a reason(s) for applying to each school. He really rose to the challenge, so there isn't a school that he applied to that he wouldn't be OK with attending. Also, the active recruitment by the school that offered the most $$ has made him "up" on that school.</p>

<p>As I said when I started this thread, S is much less stressed than I am.</p>

<p>bethievt,</p>

<p>Yup. Skipped his high school graduation.</p>

<p>Well, I thought D wasn't freaking out; she's hidden it well. She called me crying in frustration. The two other kids from her school heard from Vassar yesterday (one got in and one didn't). She rushed home from school to the mailbox today - still nothing! She told me she doesn't even care now what the answer is, she just wants to know!</p>

<p>This process stinks - why not e-mail!!!</p>