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<p>INTJ. I would not wait around for hours not unpacking when the rooms are mirror images. If there were minor differences, I’d try to split the differences (nicer dresser but smaller closet). If there were major differences … well, then, I’d expect my kid to offer to trade off midway through. But sitting around a dorm room for hours not unpacking? What an inefficient use of time.</p>
<p>^^^^^ Yup, yup, yup. Agreed all the way around.</p>
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<p>Well, yeah. If someone got there before I did, well, then they get first dibs. That’s how it goes. </p>
<p>When you go to the supermarket, do you stand back and wait until other people get in the line and you all go in together, or is it first come first served? </p>
<p>I think this is a debate between Myers-Briggs T’s and J’s, who want closure and efficient use of time, and Myers-Briggs F’s and P’s, who are always thinking about how something affects the other person and are more open-ended on the use of time.</p>
<p>ENTJ here, if I recall correctly. Am a problem-solver (tho my J-P distinction was very close, I think.)</p>
<p>You get your dorm move in keys when YOU move in. When DD moved in, we asked for a move in a day before others simply because of our travel across the country. The school was fine with that and she got all of her access keys and cards when SHE checked in…a full day before the official move in day.</p>
<p>^^^^ guess by the other posts here that makes you special, thumper ;)</p>
<p>When we moved D in, she had one of the rooms that everything was identical, so it didn’t even occur to us to wait for her roommate. We actually thought we were being considerate by getting everything done and put away as quick as possible, so the roommate could have more floor room for all her stuff once she brought it in. It would have been utter chaos with 2 girls and 3 parents in that space all bumping into each other. The girls did decide right away while the parents were still there to do some minor rearranging, and the only possible drawback was that D’s clothes in the dresser made it heavier to move. When D goes to school this year, she will be there a minimum of 4 days earlier than her roommate and possibly more, so of course she will be putting everything away. She certainly can’t be expected to live out of boxes for up to a week. Like others have said, they can work it out between themselves. No big deal as far as I am concerned.</p>
<p>For both my boys (2 difft schools) move in started at 9 am Sat morning. Period. The end. No exceptions. “Early” meant getting the car in line before 9 am.</p>
<p>When you move in from across the country…you ARE special!!</p>
<p>LOL! But then what about the internationals, or others from far away (younger s’s school has a preponderance of students from more than 500 mi away), or those with special needs, etc. At younger s’s school, he lived on the 11th floor last yr and we were advised tough luck- the luggage takes the elevator, the people take the stairs. Too bad. I agree with GA2012mom and pizzagirl. Much ado about nothing. No need to take the best of everything, if all is not equal, but also offering to change stuff around if need be-- all a no brainer.</p>
<p>As to mirror image rooms and picking a bed, rt. or left, that would not strike me as a no no. Waiting for hours to decide by consensus would not be my first choice. That said, if there is a big difference in accouterments then some sort of fairness would be preferable to just grabbing first. I went to summer camp where everyone just ran for the bunk and whoever got there first got her choice. I have to say (admittedly dumbly) that when I went to college, just a couple of years after that, that it would not have occurred to me to think otherwise. After I graduated I worked at a different camp, and there the counselors set up the beds in advance (and unpacked the clothes), and the unit head just put the kids where ever and that was it. When I got to grad school I had a two bedroom apt. and we did discuss who got which room as one was big and one was small. I had the smaller on for 3 years and I loved it.</p>
<p>A small but relevant digression. A few years ago I saw an Oprah show where someone mentioned switching the children’s rooms in the house every six months so that each could have the “good rooms” for some period of time. It was a lightbulb moment for me. What parents were so creative and concerned that they did this I wondered. It would have made my own childhood filled with less bickering if my folks had considered this. So on the topic of rooming with strangers, what a wonderful idea to switch after a semester so that no one has the “better” stuff all year.</p>
<p>As you might be able to tell, my own freshman roommate was not heaven sent. We had the mirror image type room. One day I came in to see that she had rearranged her furniture so that it was like a single room with the head of the bed in the middle of a long wall. My bed remained against the other long wall with about 3 inches between the side of my bed and the foot of hers. I would have to use this aisle to get to my desk. I could have created a missile race and rearranged some things when she went out, but I just went to the housing department to get a new place to live. She then told everyone in the dorm that I had quite a nerve moving out on her.</p>
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<p>Yikes, maybe if you have 2 kids in 2 rooms…maybe. Growing up we had 5 children all with their own bedrooms. You’d have to be crazy to change 5 rooms every 6 months!!! Just for giggles I think I’ll call my mom today and see what she would have thought of that idea, lol. I can hear her howling with laughter now!</p>
<p>FWIW, in college, I lived in my sorority house and we switched rooms three times a year (we were on the quarter system) because the rooms in this 1920’s house were so “uneven” in terms of quality, size, etc.</p>
<p>“Yikes, maybe if you have 2 kids in 2 rooms…maybe. Growing up we had 5 children all with their own bedrooms. You’d have to be crazy to change 5 rooms every 6 months!!! Just for giggles I think I’ll call my mom today and see what she would have thought of that idea, lol. I can hear her howling with laughter now!”</p>
<p>I’d have taken the smaller room over that and it was only two of us. I’d much rather have a space that is MINE, where I can feel comfortable and at home, than have the “better” room. A bedroom is more than just where you sleep once you get past maybe elementary school, it’s your space. I would hate having to get up and move all the time, that would be so hectic and bothersome, and I would definitely take the smaller room over having to deal with that. What good is the better room if you only get it part of the time anyway?</p>
<p>In my family it was about seniority, and we never had a single argument about it. My older sister got the smaller room, which when there were three of us was better because youngest and I had to share the larger room and it was nowhere near big enough for two. When older sister moved, I got the larger room because I am older, and youngest gets the smaller room all to herself. She doesn’t want to pick up and move so I get to keep my room for a while longer even though I’m leaving for school now, which is nice since I’ll be home fairly often. I didn’t mind older sister having the private room for the first 15 years of my life, and younger sister doesn’t seem to mind having the smaller room now that we finally have our own rooms. So I propose a different solution-- kids bickering about the “better” room? Pack them all in that room for a few weeks or months. They won’t care about the better room anymore when they realize how lucky they are to not all be stuck in one room together.</p>
<p>My D’s frosh year, we were given the hours of 12-4 to move in. Those closer were given 8-12. So we had to be second–roomie was from college town. The roommate picked the lower bunk and the more comfortable and convenient desk. She also brought extra furniture (sofa, computer desk). The computer desk took up almost all the space where one went to the end of the S-shaped room to get to the beds. She’d told D she was bringing the sofa, but not the desk. This desk was separate from the desk issued by the school. All year long, she complained D’s desk look “cluttered” while hers was not (she had two!)</p>
<p>She also sexiled D and risked them getting into trouble with alcohol in room. School was unresponsive to problems. D transfered.</p>
<p>Garland, I am so sorry. I dont understand – arent RAs given training as to some of these issues?</p>
<p>Children are windows to the parents. They don’t get to be that selfish without parents enabling them. </p>
<p>We didn’t have to worry about it with D1 the first year because she had a single. Second year she roomed with her best friend at the sorority. They picked rooms based on lottery. I think this year they did it by point system. You earn points for doing work at the sorority and you get order of picking your room by number of points you have. </p>
<p>D1’s roommate was a neat freak (borderline obsessive). She couldn’t stand anything out of place within her eye sight. It required D1 to make her bed, put away her clothes, get everything off her desktop before she she went to class. If her brush or makeup were out of place on her dresser, the roommate would re-arrange them. D1 finally told her roommate it wasn’t ok. Other than that they got along beautifully. D1 called me one day to tell me that her roommate didn’t make her bed. D1 was actually very proud of it - all her good influence. They are still best friends.</p>
<p>^^ I’m sorry for your D too. It doesn’t take RA training to take care of that sort of pettiness. Apparently the RA on your D’s floor lacked both common sense and a backbone. (How hard is it to say “The extra desk in this room is creating a fire hazard. Building Maintenance will be by Friday to move it to storage.”)</p>
<p>In the “no good deed goes unpunished” column, when we moved S#1 in freshman year we were the first to arrive and since the beds and dressers did differ we put all his stuff in the middle of the room and went to handle administrative stuff until roomie arrived. We returned to find that roomie had come in and set up shop in all the more desirable options. S just turned to me, rolled his eyes and unpacked. Fortunately, he’s easygoing and was able to look at the big picture, he was moving into a dorm at a school he loved and was excited to attend. While he and roomie never became friends, they were able to coexist nicely.</p>
<p>My other two attended schools that assigned move in times based on the first letter of last names in order to spread the traffic out (they rotated the order each year). There was no way to wait for the other roomie’s arrival unless your names were alphabetically close. The kids always unpacked when they got there and then together rearranged things over the course of the first weeks, if desired. </p>
<p>Flexibility is the key to successful move ins and roommate relationships. Keep it in perspective. No student’s college career was ever derailed because they got bed on the left.;)</p>
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<p>I think this is the best guide on deciding what is or is not appropriate to do. In mirror rooms, no one cares–pick a side and unpack. If someone needed special accommodations that would require them to get the “better” living arrangements, I’d like to know about it in advance.</p>