I was accepted early decision to my first choice college and now I’m kind of worried about how college is going to be for me. I’m at all interested in hooking up and all that college seems to be. Don’t judge me, but I’m a really romantic guy. I’ve been with my current girlfriend since 9th grade, and I like doing super romantic and sappy stuff with her. I took her on picnics and star gazing, and I also liked taking her on walks on the beach by the lake and kissing her near sunset. We love each other a lot and want to stay together, but we’re going really far away from each other for college and everybody says high school relationships don’t survive in college, so we’re going to voluntarily break up over the summer. So I’m wondering if there are girls in college who want to have a serious relationship instead of hooking up. Also, how does one meet girls like that?
I have personally attended 1 wedding of a couple who met in high school and were together through college and 10 weddings of people who met in college - just off the top of my head I can think of at least another 5 weddings I saw photos from of people who met in college. I’m only 28 years old.
It is. A lot of my friends are relationship people and most of them are in successful relationships.
I’ve kept my serious relationship, which started in high school, for one and a half years of college now. Breaking up because everyone says you’ll never last is your first mistake there.
I think voluntarily breaking up because everyone says high school relationships won’t make it is kind of silly, but it’s your life.
For what it’s worth, I’ve been to three weddings of people who started dating in high school and continued dating throughout college, and one of them was long distance in college. I have another friend who was in a long distance relationship in college with their high school boyfriend, and they stayed together all through college and are still together now. I know several people who were in serious, long-term relationships throughout college, and most of them only dated that one person in college and are still dating them after they’ve both graduated (I know one person who just got married to the man she started dating her freshman year of college). I’m only 24. People who want one night stands in college tend to find other people who want one night stands, but people who want serious relationships tend to find other people who want serious relationships.
Yup. I know a lot of people who have met in college and have stayed together, raised families, etc. I met my first husband in college, and though we are no longer together, we had a great relationship back then and our split was caused by others issues unrelated to anything we went through together in college.
I’ve stood in two weddings of friends who met their spouses while in college. If you want the relationship, it’s out there.
Yes. I was with my high school sweetheart until sophomore year of college (began dating in 9th grade). We just kind of realized that we had grown into different people at that point and split amicably.
I started dating my now-spouse very shortly after. Got engaged after we graduated and married after I finished with my masters program.
It’s pretty common to be in a serious relationship in college.
It’s really common. I met my boyfriend move-in day freshman year, and we’re still together after graduation. We have about a dozen friend-couples who are engaged or already married and many more who have been together at least two or three years.
I think it’s kind of silly to break up because others say it won’t last, but I also feel like if you were THE ONE for each other, you wouldn’t be breaking up so easily. Anyway you’ll definitely find like-minded girls wherever you go.
There was definitely a hookup culture at my school, but there were just as many people who were open to (or looking for) something more serious. And the two groups were not mutually exclusive. Several of my closest friends are now out in the working world, having moved hundreds of miles away after graduation with their partners who they met and started dating in college. I wouldn’t sweat it.
As for high school relationships not lasting long distance in college. That’s certainly a trend, but it depends on the couple. In my group of close friends my freshman year, five came in with long-distance girlfriends/boyfriends who went to other schools. Three were over by the end of the first semester (two mutually, one by cheating), one lasted longer because they had an open relationship but they broke up often and didn’t make it long-term, and one made it all four years and are now living together planning to get married. For that last couple, it was definitely a struggle, and I saw my friend be tempted once by an attractive girl who really liked him, but they obviously thought it was worth it. Personally, my advice is that long-distance relationships are miserable, but it does come down to who you are yourselves.
I met my husband in high school, and dated him seriously all through college (with the exception of a 6-month break we took) and most of graduate school (part of which was long-distance). We got married three and a half years ago.
I would say most high school relationships don’t last through college, but that’s because most high school relationships aren’t really serious (and there’s no need for them to be. You’re young, and you’ve got a lot of people to meet). But if you genuinely want to try to make it work with your girlfriend long-distance, there’s no harm in that. However, there’s also no harm in breaking up over the summer if you decide that you don’t want to do the work of an LDR - there’s no shame in it. Some people don’t do well in LDRs and some people want the intimacy of a relationship with closer physical proximity. (I agree that long-distance relationships are miserable, and I’ve done them multiple times with my husband - we were separated for 4 years when he was in the military and I was in graduate school, and then we did it again starting August of 2014 - we won’t be living together again until May of 2016, due to my job and HIM being in college now).
And yes, you’ll meet plenty of young women in college who want serious relationships.
You speak of your “current girl friend” as though she’s out of the picture. You “love each other a lot and want to stay together” but you’re going to break up anyway?
No. This website probably isn’t the best place to talk about dating. The reason this site is called “college confidential” is because the people who go on here went, or are either planning to go, to college. People who go to college, particularly those who graduate college, are academically ambitious, and people who are academically ambitious tend to be too nerdy to know much about social things like dating. In general, the more academically-oriented someone is, the more introverted they tend to be. I’m not saying this is the case with everybody, but it is a common trend. People who are serious enough to pursue education beyond high school are probably going to be too serious for things like dating. Also, people who are in college are probably going to be too busy for dating anyway. It isn’t like high school, where you can not work hard and graduate anyway.