<p>It's down to the day before May 1st and I still have to make a decision on where to attend colleges. My parents are very hesitant to send me where I want to go to school (not close to home) because I have lost their trust by not doing my best in school (missing assignments, skipping school) and lying to parents about my whereabouts at times. Is there any way that I can prove to them over the next few hours that I can be an accountable person in college, not waste my time and be a serious student?</p>
<p>Sounds like my brother’s situation last year.</p>
<p>Work out a deal with them. My parents gave him this: If his GPA fell below 3.0 (although there was some leeway), he would come back home and do the community college. Fortunately, he wanted to join the ROTC which DOES require 3.0 or above in order for the student to get a scholarship in the next academic year. He also had to sign a waiver to allow my parents see the grades. </p>
<p>I know it’s annoying and unfair to have to tie grades to money, but there’s no other way for parents to know what’s going on with the kid in college. You could get stopped by campus safety a bunch of times and you parents would still not know what went on. Just as long the university doesn’t call them to report you being suspended or anything like that, and you maintain a certain GPA, your parents will have make do with what they know.</p>
<p>I hate to say it, but the best guide to how you will do in college is how you did in high school. Ask yourself why you think things will be different.</p>
<p>Agreed with above post. Certainly highschool is tame compared to some colleges, and to believe that you will part ways with your old habits so fast is quite foolish. Also, think about it, if the reason you want to got to this school is that it is far away and you will have less contact with parents, then you are already falling back in your old rut again.
What are your ideas about college? Why do you want to go to this one so badly? It can be that you really don’t know why you want to go to a college, and then when you get there you hate it. i made that mistake on my initial college choice UNC Greensboro; I hated orientation so much that I just left. Consider your options.</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s any way you can prove to your parents in the next few hours that you’ll be responsible in college. How you were in high school is a pretty good indicator of what you’ll do in college, at least at the beginning. Of course, people change and grow up, and sometimes there will be an “aha! moment” that hastens that change. I think the best you can do in the next few hours is to negotiate a deal with your parents that delineates concrete things that you must achieve (GPA, a campus job if that’s important) and ways for them to check your progress in exchange for a chance to prove to them that you have in fact changed.</p>
<p>Many say that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. You have dug yourself a hole here. Not very easy to get out of it. The only way you might convince them is, as others have said, to negotiate set conditions in writing, including giving them access to your grades. When their $$$ is involved, they are correctly concerned about what you’re going to do (or not do) when you’re far from home.</p>
<p>Ok, I will give you the parent perspective; you can not prove anything to them in a few hours because you lost their trust over a series of incidents not one or two. </p>
<p>You are no doubt a good kid, who either got in over your head, or made misjudgments that your parents did not think you would make based on the way they hoped to have raised you, or the way you had behaved prior to the problems with assignments and attendance. You are where you are and you have to work your way back. It is called a consequence.</p>
<p>It seems to me that the best you can do is prove by doing, not saying, and by acting and not promising to act. The idea of the ‘contract’ is just a statement about what you will do in the future - it is your promise that things will be different. But, I suspect there have been promises in the past - that promises have been broken - and that - if your parents accepted a contract for some future act - they would just be allowing you the freedom to continue to make the same mistakes that lost the trust in the first place - while taking on the burden of potentially having to impose a really harsh consequence (a withdrawal) in the event that the words continue not to mean much…</p>
<p>I am sure your parents want you to succeed and want you to be happy with your chosen school. Get great grades - and then talk to them. We parents have a tough time saying ‘no’ to the student with a successful record - I bet your parents, even after a semester - will let you go where you want to if you accept a limitation at the beginning.</p>
<p>Does your college use Blackboard or something like that, something students can use to call up the syllabus on line, check mid term grades, etc.? You could offer to give your parents your password so they can check on how you are doing. (Well, you could. It would be like Big Brother watching you, but if that is what it takes…)</p>
<p>I also like the idea that you come to an agreement that if your first year GPA is less than an agreed upon level of acceptable or if you complete less than an agreed upon number of credits, you will stay home and go to the local CC for your second year.</p>
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<p>I’m sorry–as a parent, this made me laugh.</p>
<p>In the next few hours? No.</p>
<p>My suggestion – assuming that they can make the deposit and afford the school, ask them you will prove yourself over the summer. You will find a job (and I know they are tough), volunteer work, of CC class, and commit to 40 hours per weeek of such. YOu will not miss one day. You will not come in late. And if you screw up, you agree to go to CC for a year. And you will grades of X in college. And if not, CC. Type of the contract and sign it.</p>
<p>Is this a continuance of apple doesnt fall far from the tree thread? I think your parents know you better.</p>
<p>Would you be willing to ask your school to defer your admission for a year while you spend a year working or volunteering while you built up trust?</p>