<p>Hi,</p>
<p>Basically, is this essay good enough for a 12, or at least >= 10? It's not the usual kind of essay I write (usually, I use 3 examples, and the paragraphs are a lot shorter). Length-wise, it took up nearly all the space in the answer sheet, but I have huge handwriting... so please tell me what you think. :)</p>
<p>Prompt:</p>
<p>"There is, of course, no legitimate branch of science that enables us to predict the future accurately. Yet the degree of change in the world is so overwhelming and so promising that the future, I believe, is far brighter than anyone has contemplated since the end of the Second World War."</p>
<p>Assignment:</p>
<p>"Is the world changing for the better?"</p>
<p>Essay:</p>
<p>"The world is getting better and, it seems, at an exponential rate. The rate of human invention is steadily increasing; new technologies that were undreamt-of even just a century ago are becoming commonplace; and, partly due to better, faster travel and communications, things like poverty and wars are decreasing.</p>
<p>For example, take poverty. Nowadays, the global situation with regard to this is far from perfect - nearly 1 billion people across the planet live on under a dollar a day. But thanks to such things as charities, which a few centuries ago were only things that the wealthy elite could afford to donate to, poverty can more easily be tackled by the average person in the developed world. For just £2, a charity can buy a child something like a mosquito net, which greatly lessens its risk of potentially fatal diseases like malaria or dengue fever. It has also never been easier to raise money for charity - things like fun runs and bake sales for a cause are becoming more and more commonplace. The website FreeRice combines Internet advertising, helping the needy, and vocabulary, by allowing users to play a word-based game; every time they get the word right, 10 grains of rice are donated to charity. The money is generated by the site's banner ads, and the site has been able to send billions of grains of rice to people such as refugees. Even 50 years ago, the Internet was not around, and such a thing would have been impossible. And, 10 years ago, news sites like BBC.co.uk, which helped promote FreeRice.com and contribute to its success, did not exist. Thanks to technology, innovation, and a progressing world, it has never been easier to help the needy.</p>
<p>Before we can do so, of course, sometimes we must help ourselves first. In the developed world, social mobility is no longer the problem it once was. Even just 200 years ago, in Britain, child poverty was common, as was child labour. It was usual for poor families to send children as young as 4 or 5 sweeping chimneys or working in factories. But, nowadays, Britain's benefits system as well as child labour rules ensure that, not only are children no longer doing anything more stressful than a newspaper round, they are also getting a good education and sufficient healthcare. The UK even provides single mothers-to-be with free food and drink vouchers, so their children won't be born malnourished. Scholarships, grants and loans ensure that university, once only available to a priveleged elite, is now an option for those children. And, thanks to feminism and equal pay laws, their mothers can now go out and earn a reasonable wage to support them.</p>
<p>In short, the world is indeed changing for the better. Money may not be the be-all and end-all, but it is the route to better nutrition, healthcare and education, and both people in the developing and developed world now have increasingly good access to this. As a country's leader put it after WWII, 'Most of our people have never had it better.'"</p>
Also try to use some more sophisticated vocab if you can and you’ll set for a better score</p>
I’m going to go with 8-10, too.</p>