Is this what I have to look forward to?

<p>7dad: I have heard about the mob scenes at elite east coast colleges too, and am NOT looking forward to it for Kid2. After three years at prep school in the East, Kid1 chose to only look at colleges in the West and Midwest and all visits were very civil and lightly populated. Kid1 will attend an elite LAC in the Midwest (next week!!!) and we are thrilled. Kid2, a rising junior, is still set on college in the East, in spite of our desire to have both kids in the Midwest. I may just use your post to fuel our arguments :)</p>

<p>Oh dear. This sounds so distressing. Are tours really necessary? Can kids do them alone?</p>

<p>(Only sorta joking)</p>

<p>ChoatieMom, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t plan on going to these things with my daughter. Lord knows that she’s had enough practice touring prep schools. She’ll be primarily looking at schools in major cities. One of those cities she will fly out of to get home from boarding school and I’ve got a friend who can put her up for the night. I plan on just having her fly back early from a break and using public transport to get to the schools. Another city I can fly her there instead of home at the end of a break and when she’s done visiting fly home after crashing with another friend of mine. The last city, she can get to on megabus from home (and has already done so many times with friends for day trips). She knows how to use a subway and hail a cab. I don’t see why I would need to be there at all.</p>

<p>She has a current list of eight schools going into her junior year. I’m sure her guidance counselor will add/subtract from this list and that’s fine. I just don’t think it’s as necessary to visit colleges as it is prep schools for most students. </p>

<p>I’ll buy the plane, bus, train tickets, give her some pocket money and tell her to have fun. If she can’t handle that, then maybe she shouldn’t go to school in a major city.</p>

<p>@neato: I think I visited exactly one school when I was applying: Penn. I had already gone to a Harvard Summer program, so knew what that was like. And the rest were recommended by my guidance counselor and accepted the common app.</p>

<p>I seem to remember visiting a bunch of New England LACs as a family when my older brother was looking at schools. My immigrant parents didn’t really have a feel for what was out there other than Harvard, Yale, and Columbia I think.</p>

<p>Thanks, neato. I know that he’ll be able to check out a few schools on a Choate-sponsored trip, one he can do one on a trip to grandma’s next summer, and he’s already been to his number one choice and mentally moved in (cringe). I’m just thinking that if your kid doesn’t care one whit about the look, feel, culture, or fit of a school as long as it has his program, then maybe we can avoid some madness. Maybe this will be a task for ChoatieDad…</p>

<p>I only attended one info session and that was for my first kid (daughter) at Penn (also my alma mater); that experience was enough for me. Thacher son did all college info sessions and tours on his own (or with a classmate), which worked out much better.</p>

<p>The other appalling thing about visiting campuses today, at least Penn’s, is how unbelievably plush they’ve become. Where’s the grit? Where are the creaky radiators and worn floorboards? The old gyms have been replaced by spa-like sports clubs with climbing walls and 21st century cardio gear. Anachronistic buildings where half the battle was staying warm on cold days have been replaced by multimillion dollar edifices for maximum pamperage. No wonder we pay through the nose for tuition.</p>

<p>From older Ds experience, we developed a system. We first went to a convenient no-name small school. Does small school feel interesting? Try convenient no-name big school, arts school, etc. and if they have a definite preference for size or specialization that allows a huge number of schools to drop out of consideration.</p>

<p>For example, my upcoming junior D actually HATED Pomona, and says a small school’s classes would probably replicate her prep school experience, and she definitely wants to go BIG for a change. (I loved Pomona - sniff), but it does allow us to cross off all small/LACs with a single stroke. Goodbye Amherst, Williams, and many more beautiful schools… </p>

<p>She also has an idea of the major she wants - although that will probably change but gives us a toe-hold to compare schools with, and the most productive work so far has been poking through the on-line curriculum and major requirements, because there are BIG differences between schools there. The common core at Columbia and Chicago fills most of the first 2 years for example, and is a whole lot different from the open curriculum at say Brown. Many schools also have “niche” programs with specialized dual majors or interdisciplinary features (like Vagelos at Penn). We have gone so far as to construct sample 4 year academic plans for the major of interest at each college of interest. Maybe down the road that will help with the “why this school” essay question. </p>

<p>While it is easy to name drop the reaches, it is much harder to find safeties that have good programs in her planned major, and that she would be happy to attend. That’s really where the counselors will hopefully be able to help her. D will be expected to start submitting her “counselor’s questionnaire” and a very preliminary college list late this fall and early winter.</p>

<p>@2prepMom: We are trying to replicate that “big school/small school” feeler concept, albeit with two “name” schools simply because my wife and I at least know our way around each campus. The LAC visit is coming up next week, in addition to a few BS visits for younger daughter. Because that’s what the “Family Vacation to New England” is for, right? ;-P</p>

<p>^^I agree with all your observations about college visits.
Want to add two things. 1. Colleges that say they meet 100% of need, mean they meet 100% of demonstrated need as interpreted by college. 2. In case your daughter does love Penn, remember that she has a grater chance of getting shot by a terrorist than getting in, if she does not apply ED, as a child of an alum (I just dated myself with that phrase). Thats b/c they figure that she has bigger fish to catch and wont go if accepted, since she didnt apply ED.</p>

<p>My kid has also done most of his college tours on his own, at the beginning/end of school vacations, much as neato describes. He visited Penn during an Amtrak layover, thus completely avoiding parking problems. And 2prepmom-- mine had the same exact reaction to small schools, but after visiting Amherst. I was a little disappointed but mostly just relieved that I was getting out of that drive to Maine…</p>

<p>You all are making me very anxious, just learning now that these info sessions are going on and DS is sitting this summer on the other side of the great waters. :(</p>

<p>How does one find out when/where these college info sessions are being held? I am having traumatic flash backs of the haphazard manner of DS’s boarding school application process where we were a day late and a dollar short…</p>

<p>Idk. We visited many colleges together as a family. It was a lot of fun. Reminded us of boarding school visits a few years ago, and we got to talk a lot more stuck in the car or a hotel room. I found myself doing “balancing work” quite a bit. When DS too quickly fell in love with a school or too quickly dismissed one, I’d present counter arguments so he could see things from different angles. We could of course quickly concluded on what types of schools he’s more interested in - big or small, urban, suburba or rural etc., but I tried to get him see beyond some of those things. After all, “dream schools” were dreams at least at the application stage. You got to compromise one way or another for schools that are not so “dreamy” so you have a balanced list.</p>

<p>@GMTplus7-</p>

<p>I wouldn’t worry. We are only doing a the two visits this summer to establish some “book ends” (small school/big school, urban/suburban, etc.) for her future search…and only visiting schools we either know or that are at least are convenient.</p>

<p>At SAS the college planning process officially starts with a meeting for the Junior parents the day before Thanksgiving break starts.</p>

<p>SevenDad, I think you may feel Harvey Mudd (a west coast school. Your “Thacher dream” may come true…) and Olin College (great merit-based aid for all admitted students) more of your “cup of tea”.</p>

<p>Benley…I think you wrongly assume that we throw the “Big Names” out with the bathwater chez Seven. I can assure you we do not.</p>

<p>When it came to BS, we looked at a few of the “Big Names”, and liked one of them very very much…until we didn’t. My tendency to stick up for the Hidden Gems here is in direct correlation to the number of newbs who come to this site with “HADES or nothing” on their minds. And as we see year after year, plenty wind up on on the “nothing” end of that deal.</p>

<p>I can actually foresee a scenario in which SevenDaughter1 and 2 end up at the same “brand name” college…but for very different reasons.</p>

<p>^^That’s fair, SevenDad. Sorry for the ‘assumptions’. You gave me the vibe that you were a little fragile for the rough edges of the big names. You got me worried you might get hurt! (kidding kidding ;)) And since you have had such a blast with a small hidden gem BS, I thought you’d appreciate something similar in your college search. Anyways, I’m just suggesting some schools for you to check out. Of course you can choose a big name for whatever reason. That’s many of us do after all.</p>

<p>We do like the “hidden gems” experience so far…but as others have noted, sometimes kids want a contrast to what they’ve had in high school. I graduated HS in a class of 68 (people, not year!), so looked at mostly larger schools for college.</p>

<p>Does 7D know what she wants to study in college?</p>

<p>Sevendad, but both 2prepmom’s son and classicalmama’s son are at Exeter, the “big school”. To them, a step up in size would probably be a mid-size undergraduate college in a university, but for a big fan of small schools like you, note that the majority of the LACs are larger than even the largest BS. It would be a step up to a small private school graduate. I am not trying to “manipulate” you but I think you will eventually choose a smaller LAC (otherwise it wouldn’t make sense to me :)).</p>

<p>All of this talk about college visits, I wanted to share this story. My son will be attending Andover this fall as a Freshman and he spent 5 weeks on the campus this summer since he has never been away from home for an extended period of time. He shared a story that adds humor to all of this hyper vigilance about attending the Right Brand Name School. He witnessed a large luxury coach bus pull up in front of Cochran Chapel and exiting the bus was a large contingent of Asian students. He said looked like they were in the 3rd grade all wearing hats that said “Ivy League Tour 2013”. Please don’t jump on me for pointing out that they were Asian because they were all Asian children of Tiger Parents. That is the only explanation as to why third graders would want to go on an Ivy League Tour. I guess they stopped at Andover because in their eyes that is the logical ticket to the Ivy League.</p>