<p>The only "realistic" thing anyone can say about an application to Yale is that the student probably won't get it. And my guess is that a huge percentage of students at Trinity are Yale rejects, as Trinity is such a logical safety due to its location. Reported stats show that many Trinity students also applied to Brown, Georgetown, or Wesleyan as well as Yale.</p>
<p>I agree with the patience, patience, patience approach. Think of it like this... if she applies to BFs school and gets accepted, she doesn't have to let the school know of her decision until next May - which in teen romances is a lifetime away. Who knows what will happen by then. As a parent, I would tell D to apply to bfs school if she wants, as long as she applies to many other schools too. And just remember, just like you don't have to stay with your first love forever, you don't have to stay at your first school all four years either.<br>
And, some other advice from one who has just been there - try, try, try not to get too attached to bf. When my D broke up w/ her bf , I think I was just as upset as he was!</p>
<p>Thanks for all the input everyone.</p>
<p>I did not mean to make my d's bf's school name a mystery. It's not a big deal to name it. It's Quinnipiac University in Hamden CT. </p>
<p>From the research I have done it seems like a fine school and very pretty with Sleeping Giant park adjacent to the campus and 10 mins from New Haven( Yale territory).</p>
<p>The school is fine, it's not that I think it is inferior to any other colleges, it's just not the greatest fit for her interests..........English, Humanities etc. ( strong writing and tradtional liberal arts. She likes Classics etc.)and also studio art, photography etc.( I know Yale is one of the best English Depts around and Connecticut College is good too. Have told her about Kenyon, but Ohio may be pushing it! As well as Middlebury and other LAC's mentioned on CC....we have thier viewbooks and apps( just in case...hehe)but most of the LAC's that sound like good choices are NOT in cities which she says she wants. Interestingly though, Quinnipiac is not in a city either.....but what do mothers know?</p>
<p>Quinnipiac is known for Communications, and has a growing law school.......it does not seem too different academically than Fordham University, which is another school she is considering. Also has a wonderful program in Ireland among other study abroad programs.</p>
<p>We plan on attending the open house in the fall and will assume that she will apply there. But will insist on applying to schools that seem to fit her interests and abilities more apprporiately in addition. We scheduled the open house for the latest date they were offered( NOV12) figuring it would give a little more than 2 mos. to see how things between them go...........perhaps by that time she will no longer be interested in that school by that point. While there, we were going to check out maybe Fairfield, Connecticut College and maybe Wesleyan and Yale only if she really scores high on her retake in Oct. That is why I said earlier that wesleyan is a reach and Yale a superreach! We are realistic, EA at Yale and probally and for that matter Wesleyan as well are real real reaches but I know what my D is capable of if she really wanted to focus on this retake. </p>
<p>She has an excellent art portfolio, her own web design business, and strong transcript , I believe her teachers and counselor will give interesting and supportive recs, she is a great writer so I believe her essay will be fine. </p>
<p>I only say all this to stress what she is capable of and that I feel she is not allowing her best to show because she is preoccupied with her relationship w/ bf. Listen, love is great.............I am happy for her. It's just the timing of all this.......and the her age being so young that concerns me. </p>
<p>I know she can do better on her SAT than her first test. It is only a decent score, and she got 200+ pts higher on the PSAT last year. What happened? I believe she held back on purpose the first time because, well number one,because of pride. She tried to take the SAT from her own knowledge with no preparation. She admits that now....even though we bought her study books and assumed she was using them. She did not. But also, I think the second reason is that she held back and did not prepare because she did not want to outshine her boyfriends SAT score!</p>
<p>I ask you, what to do with an intelligent, talented young woman who is senslessly in love? </p>
<p>And now through the summer she says she is studying and I do see that she is, but not to the extent that I would think is necessary. She works full-time and sees bf alot in between and is also learning to drive ( Give me strength!) and taking her road test next week. She reads like a maniac and is busy w/ her design business, and her photography. So I guess I have to respect that she is doing the best that she can with the SAT prep. We do put a time period on when she can do recreational things only after a certain amt of study time, outside of work and other necessaties. But when the discussion of college search comes up it all becomes vague. Like I said previously.</p>
<p>If she only slightly improves her score in Oct. then chances are she will not be applying to the more selective schools. Which I suspect is her plan right now. I know that SAT scores are not the end all and many schools do not even request them.......but because schools are so selective and generally do look at SAT scores as a means in part for admission.......her chances for a more selective school of course will improve with a higher score. And I know with some discipline and focus she is capable of scoring higher. Thus having more options and a wider range of schools to apply to.</p>
<p>we have already told her that if she really wants to apply to Quinnipiac that is fine and if she is happy with her score as is, then we are with her. BUT she tells us this is not the case, and that she IS studying and WILL improve her score and consider other schools. Yet her actions speak quite differently.........the stalling and vagueness about college research.........not even glancing through the everincreasing stack of college viewbooks and info......the contradiction in the interest shown in Quinnipiac and the desire for an urban school. At one time she was very interested in NYU after we visited last year and now it's ..."sigh....a maybe".</p>
<p>I guess we just have to ride this out. And keep the info available and options open. Encourage her to be true to herself and her abilities and allow her potential to have room to take off. </p>
<p>Just hate to think about her heart getting broken when or if the relationship drifts . And this happening all around the time she should be putting her best forward in order to apply to college this year.</p>
<p>Love does many things to a person.........at any age. Just wish it was'nt doing it to my D untill AFTER college!</p>
<p>Based on her not having any "enthusiasm for excellence" to summarize your post above, I would have a conversation about that point blank. If she is to be true to herself/abilities, just glazing over and sleepwalking to Quinnipiac does not accomplish this!</p>
<p>I would point out NEUTRALLY that she has not done much SAT prep nor read the guidebooks... I would simply say, there are certainly plenty of schools that will accept you "as is" but I am concerned that you are so disinterested. Let's talk about it...</p>
<p>Could be
-pressure about the transition, growing up & leaving home (definitley was a factor with my D)
-worry that if she opened the books she might find a school that excites her that is far from BF
-stress about not doing better on SAT and letting herself/you down
- worry about doing well and then Q would be "beneath" her and you'd force her to go elsewhere.</p>
<p>In any event she is not acting like an adult if she drifts towards BF school with no consideration of other options. So then, how is she "adult" enough to be sure of BF?</p>
<p>
[quote]
I ask you, what to do with an intelligent, talented young woman who is senslessly in love?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Scream "SNAP OUT OF IT!!" ;) Worked in Moonstruck!</p>
<p>I would be really afraid that your daughter is throwing a lot away for a relationship that she is unlikely to sustain. When the love glow wears off she'll feel pretty foolish if she has thrown away opportunities for this boy. This is the rest of her life we're talking about!!!</p>
<p>When my older sister was in a similar situation, my parents took two different approaches. My dad was all about tough love, refusing to pay for any college he felt was beneath her potential. My mom simply sat her down and calmy explained that real love would easily survive different colleges. My sister, who starts college this fall, will tell you she was very thankful for the wake up call. Love can really be blinding.</p>
<p>This is such a common situation that IMO parents are best to stay out of, you really can't win. But, a positive spin can be taken in that long distance romances don't need to be so tough. As colleges have changed their schedules over the years, you're typically in school about 7 months and off for 5, plus With miscellaneous other breaks, cell phones, IM etc. there is plently of time to be together and being at separate schools gives you a little breathing room. try to focus on the positive of how things can be worked out.</p>
<p>it's not liek the school is in the middle of nowhere - there are PLENTY of schools within 2 hours of (CT?). don't let her limit herself to schools within 15 mins.</p>
<p>Good that your going to visit Quinnipiac! Although, I would suggest that you give the admissions office a call to visit in the summer if you could. Although visiting an open house is good, Nov is kinda late for QU. I've heard that they get over 11, 12K applications each year and start waitlisting early in the year. When we visited, they were suggesting applying in late August, early September due to the volume of apps they get. I think it might be more devestating if she gets waitlisted at QU...something you might not want to deal with. So, visit the school as soon as possible, it will put your mind at ease. Maybe she wont like it anymore, or maybe you'll fall in love with it. Only one way to find out. Good Luck!</p>
<p>This is my first time posting, but boy do I sympathize. My oldest daughter met her boyfriend after she had applied to colleges senior year but when it came time to leave in the fall, she wanted to transfer to bf's school. She wanted to leave an Ivy League school to go to UMass. Luckily, she found out that he was cheating on her before she got around to completing the application. She stayed at her school and graduated 3 years ago.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Nov is kinda late for QU. I've heard that they get over 11, 12K applications each year and start waitlisting early in the year.
[/quote]
Would it be so bad (or good ;) ) if she didn't get into Quinnipiac?</p>
<p>Well this is definantly something that you would need to converse with your daughter about. After all, I wouldnt want to keep this information from my daughter and then have to deal with her not getting into the school of her choice (if Quinnipiac indeed becomes the number 1 choice). </p>
<p>And remember, through my years of college visiting, a college has a name to simply offer it a label so you can refer to it without confusing everyone. The fact is, I've heard time and time again, that when its a Sunday night, your out of clothes and your laundry is pilling up, you havnt eaten dinner, you running on no sleep, have a test on Monday, a paper due on Tuesday, a presentation on Thursday, your friends want you to hang out right that second, and your parents are mad that you havnt called, your not going to remember the differences between colleges XYZ and ZYX. So in the end, dont write colleges off by name, write colleges off back lack of commitment to the student. In other words, investigate them. Because guess what, a name doesnt support a college...professors do...the student body does...the administration does. The name of the college is not going to push you daughter to grow...the college itself is. Think about it, it helped me back in my day! ;-)</p>
<p>I didn't experience this same conundrum when I applied a few months ago, but I can say that your daughter probably knows and understands all of your concerns, but she may resent being told what to do. For example, I know that right now, instead of meandering around on the internet, I should be setting aside things on my list of what to bring to college. I have made a detailed list and gotten some off this website, so I know what I need, but yesterday, my mom said, "Why don't you stop hanging around and start setting some things in boxes for college; here, I've made a list for you." That really irritated me for some reason, I guess I just resented being led by the hand into doing things that I know how to do and that I can do. I would be willing to bet that your daughter knows your concerns and has many of them herself. I think if you just hang back and be supportive, she will come through with a well-balanced college list. If you are getting anxious, ask her just out of curiosity where she's applying and how her applications are going--don't mention the boyfriend's college, just ask in general.
If in April, you feel she's turning down better options and better fits for her boyfriend's college, then tell her your concerns, but under no circumstances, talk badly about her first choice school (even if it is her boyfriend's school) because you'll only alienate yourself from her decision-making process. If you must, talk only in positives about her other schools. I have stopped consulting my mom about anything relating to college, because everytime I do, she has nothing positive to say. When we visited campus for the first time after making my decision, she grimaced the whole time and made comments like "I can't believe you want to live here (I'm going to Columbia, so she was talking about it's proximity to Harlem)" or "the orientation at your brother's school was so much better organized." I was so annoyed that I just stopped talking about it in front of her because she just couldn't stop even after I told her how much it bothered me. Don't let that be you. Be involved and supportive, but always be positive.</p>