<p>Don't you hate those people that judge you? </p>
<p>I know this one person who has definitely judged me. She pretends to be nice to me only when she needs help on something - e.g. a homework problem. Past that, she pretty much ignores me. She'll just completely ignore me and talk to other people right in front of me instead of me. I can't point to many explicit things that she does that irks me, but I definitely get a negative vibe around her. I know that I'm not "normal" by high school social standards, but really, treating me like some kind of outcast only to be used for homework help?</p>
<p>I almost want to tell her "screw you, I'm not helping because you treat me like an object rather than a person," but I'm almost positive she'll look at me and pretend to be nice and be like "what, I never treated you like that! Let me give you a hug!" :x. </p>
<p>Adding to my case that she judges other people, one time she asked if another person - a definite social outcast by HS social standards - was "normal." Wow. Going around asking people if someone was "normal." She definitely judges other people. I feel as if she's treating me the same way, questioning my "normalcy" in her mind or in her conversations with other people. </p>
<p>Can anyone here empathize with me? Don't you hate those people who use you as an means to their ends?</p>
<p>The person that you described makes up 95% of people in my school. There are so many judgmental people in my school that they separate into groups and just criticize each other’s groups. There’s definitely a lot of drama everyday. It’s entertaining, but I’m also very judgmental. I try not to be, but it’s harder than it looks.</p>
<p>Thank you for relating. Now I don’t feel alone. I almost want to reach out to her as well and sort of prove my “normalcy” by showing that I can engage in conversations with her, be funny, etc. </p>
<p>She disgusts me. What’s even more disgusting is how successful she is - student government president, sports team head, etc. How can such a person treat others like objects rather than sentient beings? Our relationship - in the most basic sense of the word “relationship” - epitomizes the “I-it” relationship that Martin Buber described.</p>
<p>The girl you described immediately reminded me of someone in my school. Try talking to her, unless she’s conceited with one of those “I’m better than you” attitudes. Years ago, I was not friends with this major judgmental girl in my grade. Once high school started though, she realized how amazing and how funny I am (humor is a building block to any relationship!) and now she’s one of my close friends! Talk to her, joke with her, show her you’re capable of being “normal.” If you don’t want to, then don’t! Don’t help her with homework anymore and she’ll move onto someone else to use and judge. Remember, after high school, you will probably never see her again in your life!</p>
<p>Nice! It’s heartening to hear your success story. I’ll definitely be trying to reach out to her. But if she doesn’t want to accept the fact that I’m a human being - and not a means to an end - then that’s her loss. I am plenty “normal” and if I’m not “normal” enough for her, then that’s too bad. </p>
<p>It is, however, saddening to realize how there are figures like the girl I describe at your school too. Thank you for the support :).</p>
<p>I totally know what you mean. I mean, they are all sweet when they don’t get number 14 but they can’t even be bothered to say hi to you in the hall?</p>
<p>It’s worse when a lot of those judgmental people used to be your best friends. A lot of my former friends became friends with the “popular” people, and when I didn’t follow because I didn’t want to be friends with people who judged me on how much I spent on my shoes, I got sorted into the “brains” (let’s face it, its way nicer to be friends with sometimes socially awk people than people who stab you in the back). Now they won’t even say hi to me, and when I have to sit next to them in classes, they pretend we didn’t used to have sleepovers all the time, go bike riding every weekend and share secrets. (unless, of course, they have a question related to school/the homework)</p>
<p>Whatevery. (: Just rise up above it, and be so nice to them that they can’t possibly have anything bad to say about you. But don’t go out of your way to help them. It is their loss. And love the friends who actually care about you more than anything.</p>
<p>It’s not the same thing, but today this random girl (whom I hadn’t even seen before) walked past me and said, “I hate goths.”</p>
<p>I’m not even goth; I just happened to be wearing all black today. I started laughing because it was such a ridiculous statement… as if she knows all goths.</p>
<p>Anyway, people are silly, and it may benefit you to talk to this girl… I’ve done that a few times in the past (talked to people who were blatantly using me), and it didn’t go nearly as badly as I’d thought it would.</p>
<p>HAHAHA! my mom. My mom, my mom, my mom. She always says something completely rude and would get hit if someone heard her, but then she acts like what she said was okay and everyone says it. Omg. It. Is. So. Annoying.</p>
<p>There’s this one genius kid in my bio class. This is the first time I’ve given a damn about biology, and every time I try to discuss something with the teacher, the kid just shakes his head disapprovingly, as if I’m some overachiever and he hasn’t been groveling for a 4.0 since birth. Everyone thinks this psycho is an angel sent from God himself, but he is the epitome of the overachiever that CC doesn’t want you to become–grades grades grades and nothing else. And yet he has the gall to judge me for wanting good grades. </p>
<p>This very kid is missing out on a core musical performance and has the audacity to try to make changes to how we’re playing the piece. No, man. You lost that privilege the day you put your SATs before this class. It’s no one’s fault but yours. Own up, and stop blaming your damn parents.</p>
<p>^you just judged a kid you don’t really know. I think being judgmental comes naturally to everyone. For instance, when a girl dresses indecently, most people are like"she’s a total slut." People just have to learn to control the way they express their opinions. @iceqube i’m sure she only acts like that because she does’nt really know you. If you really want to change her judgemental behaviour towards you, start socializing with her, like really get to know her.</p>
<p>I don’t think judgmental is the right term to use in this context.
I really dislike it when people abuse of you. On the other hand, if you have things to offer, people are going to want to take them. Don’t feed the squirrels, you know?
People often ask me to send them assignments so they can ‘get the format’ down. I’ll do it once or twice, but I feel uncomfortable when people ask me repetitively. Eventually, I just refuse (with a pretext or with a shrug) and send them on their dejected way.</p>