<p>My daughter is going to go pretty far away to college. We live in NY she will be going Texas. I am finding myself really affected by this. Not to her. But just looking at her and feeling like I am going to burst into tears. I know I have to let her go and grow up, but this is hard. Anyone else feeling this? Any words of advice? I know it is only a plane ride away, but the seats are not cheap.</p>
<p>With cell phones and ichat and skype and instant messaging, there are many, many ways to stay in touch. And there are many vacations, and the school year is only 30 weeks long (unlike the 36-37 week K-12 academic calendar.) You will miss your daughter, but you will find that you can maintain the ties even if you are not physically in the same place. :)</p>
<p>Yep</p>
<p>Wife and I cried after son left to USC last fall. You probably will too when you put them on the plane to go to school. We just put him on the plane to go home from Spring break. It gets easier once you know it is going well for them.</p>
<p>Schedule a visit if you can during the first or second semester. USC runs a parent weekend and it helped to see them in their new environment</p>
<p>We live near Chicago and our son will be in California. I am trying not to think about how this will feel come September. We, too, must think carefully about finances, and trips to the west coast are expensive and include car rental. My husband and I are extremely close to our son, and it will be a loss, no doubt. I am sure he will make friends and be happy and busy, since it is his first choice school. He runs everyday and is eager to get away from the cold/ice/snow of the midwest. My daughter is on her own, and we will have that empty nest thing going. I am happy that he is going to be exactly where he wants to be, and I will deal with my feelings when he is gone. </p>
<p>The good thing is that there are so many ways to stay connected, ie cell phone (must get that National calling package!) and email. I do text, but don't like it very much. Back when I went to college, I spoke to my parents once a week and didn't tell them anything important at all. Many kids stay in closer touch with their parents these days. I will accept whatever level of connection he feels comfortable with, and I will branch out in ways that have been difficult since my kids were born. </p>
<p>I may even get those binoculars out and start watching birds again from some place other than the backyard. The sandhill cranes were in magnificent migration this week (seen from the backyard). We love to hike around the natural areas in the Chicago area (yes, there are many, believe it or not) and we will do much more of that. Our kids got taken on many a hike, but many Saturdays were spent doing sports, music, drama, homework. My husband and I intend to go listen to more live music (folk-type stuff). I might even dust off my violin and start playing my old-timey fiddle music again. Did any of the rest of you take up violin when your kids did Suzuki, and keep on playing when they quit?</p>
<p>Where in Texas is she going? You won't have to worry, as Texans, on the whole, are some of the friendliest people anywhere! We've lived all over the US and we have not encountered such genuinely friendly people anywhere. Now I am expecting a load of contradictions!!</p>
<p>Yes, (but I had played previously as a child also), and as an empty-nester I enjoy playing fiddle with my little band. My DS detested and abhored violin, but suffered it for 8 years. Hasn't touched it since he quit as a 12-year-old...
And now, back to the original topic! ;)</p>
<p>She is going to SMU. She can dance, her greatest passion, and double major for a Plan B when she gets out. It is truly a beautiful campus. A little worried about the "Rich kid" reputation but we didn't feel that on our 3 visits there. What are your views on SMU, mizzou-mom?</p>
<p>DD is in TX and we are in VA. We took her there to move in last year. Went again for parent's weekend. She was home for wedding and breaks. They really are pretty frequent. She texts all the time, calls on cell phone 1-3 x's per week depending on what's going on. I miss her but she is so happy I would not change a thing. </p>
<p>BTW - I have gotten really good at finding cheap airfares. Are you near an airport with the discount lines? We started using Southwest and driving to the cheaper airport. They have a pretty good reward program for earning free flights.</p>
<p>My DD attends NU, so I can relate to those parents who are now coming face to face with reality. I found out about skype through CC. Skype is free, and with a video camera put on top of your desktop, you can see the other person as you talk. It really helpt me to see her. We email and text, too.
DD loves the seasons, and is home now enjoying what we take for granted here in California-sunny days.</p>
<p>"I know it is only a plane ride away, but the seats are not cheap."</p>
<p>Frequent flyer miles! Get a credit card with unrestricted FFM (NFCU for us). We charge everything to earn the points, even food $$ put on the campus cash card rather than into her checking account.
The points are charged based on the cost of the ticket, so book as early as possible.</p>
<p>With our older two, we utilized IM but this one is a texter. We've grown to prefer it as we don't have to wait till she's at her computer to communicate and the message gets saved if she has her phone off.</p>
<p>We also have a kiddo on the opposite coast. As others have noted, we are able to communicate very regularly. However, there are times when it's just not the same as having her here. She hasn't been home for Thanksgiving or spring break either of her college years. The Thanksgiving holiday comes ends one week before exam week. It just doesn't make economic sense to fly her home and the do it again two weeks later. Too bad as her school has a full week off at Thanksgiving. </p>
<p>We have frequent flyer miles and the like, but I have to say...they get gobbled up pretty quickly just flying her back and forth for the "long" breaks. Even though DH travels on business a lot, we don't have enough miles for US to go to see her (we do, however, have plenty of free hotel nights!). </p>
<p>However, it all balances out. She is very happy at her school, and is very much involved in a lot of things there. She has a nice circle of friends. AND we do have close relatives near her at school (so she isn't left on campus during holidays and breaks). </p>
<p>We were of the opinion that college is a terrific time to live in a very different part of the country. So we had no problem with this child's decision to go to a school far away. She is also very responsible and self sufficient...and traveled extensively without us prior to her college years.</p>
<p>We sent a freshman from upstate NY to Southern California, so I've become a hawk on watching for flight bargains. I don't stick with the same airline or airports. I have no loyalty whatsoever. I find the best flight bargain for the day and time that fits with his academic needs, and that's that. While I might lose points, I think the amounts I've saved more than make up for it. Driving to a different airport sometimes yields better fares, too.</p>
<p>If she went 4 car-hours away, you might find yourself spending a lot on gasoline, roundtrip, fetching her from places where there are no airports nearby. If it costs you $100. to drive roundtrip to a campus, and $300. to fly her roundtrip, you aren't paying $300, you're paying an incremental difference of $200. </p>
<p>In return, if she's going to the school where you both feel her educational needs will be met, that's the most important variable on the table, IMHO. </p>
<p>Before you assume you can only visit her in Texas by rental cars, find out if there are shuttles from airport to campus, or even a taxi. You might enjoy not having a car when you visit, but just stay at a near-campus motel. With the money saved renting a car, you can taxi a few times during your campus visit.</p>
<p>I think you'll develop new ways of looking at travel costs and distance, just as others correctly say you'll find many new ways for communicating.</p>
<p>I found it took a year to get the hang of it with my eldest (4 hours' drive away) and then some more new things to get used to having the youngest commuting by planes.</p>
<p>I miss the sensory contact, though; the sound of the voice, smell of the hair and all that. After a while, though, when you hear their accomplishments and realize they can't find that under your wing anymore, it more than makes up for the absences. You're happier for them than sadder for yourself. But I'm describing a long process that you're just anticipating, so it might not be that comforting to hear. You will adjust but give yourself a LOT longer than next October!</p>
<p>SMU is right in the middle of friendly Dallas. She should be fine there, people are very helpful and nurturing here. Our view of SMU is warped as we live so closeby. I hear it is VERY good for Fine Arts! Not many kids at our school want to go there as it is right in our backyard, so I really don't know much about it. Like someone from Syracuse not wanting to go to Syracuse Univ. I am sure she will do great! Lots of hype with the Bush(#43) Library coming in. My d is 10 hours away in Missouri and I actually see less and less of her. Sadly, I visited a couple of times when she was a freshman, but now she is just so busy with studies and friends. We find it is cheaper to fly her home than for her to drive for breaks. She will do great!!! YOU will be the one with separation anxiety, believe me!</p>
<p>'Anyone else feeling this? " Always. Just don't let her know though. Be ready for it to come back unexpected, too. DD called this week really sick, the ugly virus going around. All I really wanted to do was scoop her up .. But we talked instead. Sent her her Easter box with homemade candy and missed making it with her. </p>
<p>But, change is growth and it is just a different kind of growing up for us, too. To the next stage of our lives.</p>
<p>Yes. It is very hard. You are wise to not "inflict " this on her, but do consider just telling her, with a light touch, about your feelings one of these days: you love her, so of course you will miss her; but you are also very proud and excited for her. She'll probably pick up on your angst at some point, and putting a name to it is generally good.</p>
<p>Try, if you can, to focus on the joys and fulfilment of the journey so far. I find that I cannot be sorry for myself and grateful at the same time. This is what got me through that transition 1-1/2 years ago.</p>
<p>Same here. Considering N.California/ N. Carolina. And she's speeding it all up by being a camp counselor all summer! She's gone from home slot already and texting has really seemed helpful.</p>
<p>shrinkrap:
My d was also considering being a sleep-away camp counselor all summer...until we all realized that she will have only 5 days after graduation and O days after camp was over before orientation starts at all of her top schools.....It is a short summer before freshman year; she has decided to do the camp counselor thing possibly AFTER freshman year again.....</p>
<p>We text soooo much now, that it really won't be very different when she is away, unless, of course, we end up changing time zones like others here.....</p>
<p>Rodney! Same issue here. She is trying to negotiate leaving camp before the last session. She initially was going to wait until next year, but I felt there was no way a college student was going to do that, and she has been doing this camp thing culminating with this, for 12 yrs. Maybe I was wrong.</p>
<p>P.S. Noticed you on the "Essence of Emory" thread.</p>
<p>yup, waiting patiently (well, not really) for that one next week before d makes any decisions...(and then there's always USC hanging out there...haven't heard yet....)....</p>
<p>Yep, I'm feeling that. The other night in church I surprised myself when tears started rolling down my face as my son was singing and the thought hit me that we wouldn't be hearing him sing solo next year, at least not weekly the way we do now. I don't know where he will be--could be as close as 90 minutes away or as far as a 2-leg plane flight--or, if he does a gap year, across the ocean. I remind myself of this when he's late getting up/late getting home/not helping out/being obnoxious. And when he's singing, we forget the annoying things. Oh well. I know I'm going to be a basket case.</p>