Late Night Loneliness in my Dorm Room?

<p>My roommate and I have totally different schedules - she tends to stay out late at the library or study lounge while I tend to go to bed earlier. I have early morning classes and need more sleep while she has later classes and can survive on 5 hours of sleep.</p>

<p>We spend most of the day with our respective friends and hardly ever go by the room. We get along well when we're together, but I tend to get lonely late at night when all of my friends have gone to sleep and she's out studying. It's a little depressing coming back to an empty room and it's also hard to fall asleep knowing that her coming in at 2 a.m will wake me up.</p>

<p>I sometimes feel like I might be the cause of this. She goes out to study mainly because I go out to to study at coffee shops, but I can't study in the room. I think she might get lonely too, but I don't know how to bring this up with her? And whenever I'm in the room she either has class or activities.</p>

<p>It got so bad that I found myself staying up and waiting for her to come in (and, amazingly, she sometimes stays up and waits for me)...but that ended up ruining my sleeping schedule. It's fine for her to stay up late because she can deal with it (because of her later classes), but I definitely need the sleep. </p>

<p>I also sometimes get worried when I do wake up at 3 and she's still out. I know I shouldn't worry about her, but I can't help it. I'm hoping to find a way to treat this anxiety - I have been seeing someone at the counseling center because the anxiety when I wake up at 3 a.m with my roommate still out is pretty bad. I tend to get very homesick at these times. </p>

<p>I sometimes take some Tylenol PM to help this problem (because I tend to take it and pass out on the bed) - but I don't want to become dependent on a medicine to help me sleep. It also makes me very groggy in the mornings when I wake up after getting 8 hours of sleep.</p>

<p>Any suggestions to beat late night dorm room loneliness? It's just hard because everyone else has gone off to sleep - my friends, my parents, my friends in other schools - and I'm pretty much alone.</p>

<p>Why don’t you suggest eating dinner together one day a week? Embrace your alone time. Being comfortable being alone is vital if your future career involves travel or moving often. Your roomie is very considerate studying out of the room so you can get to sleep early. Wear earplugs and a sleep mask so you can sleep through her coming in late. Learn to not be irritated if your sleep gets disturbed. Horror stories about alcohol soaked, druggie, smelly, rude, klepto, psycho roommates would make your problems seem quaint.</p>

<p>Get off the Tylenol PM. It can make you feel blah, moody, cloudy, and depressed the next day. Stop taking it. </p>

<p>Take the initiative and talk with your roommate. As the above poster mentioned, plan to go out to dinner with her. Take a trip to the mall or go to a movie with her. Be a little more flexible with your sleep patterns. While it’s important to get enough sleep, it’s OK to stray once or twice a week and stay up a little later than usual. It sounds as if your roommate is trying to be kind and respectful to you by leaving the room so as not to disturb your sleep. Let her know that it’s OK if she wants to hang around the room late at night. </p>

<p>Talk with her about how your feel. Open up the lines of communication. Maybe she’s feeling a little weird about stuff too and would like to discuss things with you.</p>

<p>I get worried when my roommate decides to stay out for the night and doesn’t say anything. All I can think is that if she turned up missing I would be the first person to notice and therefore responsible for sounding the alarm, but I can’t actually do that because she’s just out with friends and there’s really very little chance of anything being wrong. I just ignore it. My impulse to be a mother hen can’t always be right. :P</p>

<p>I think your best bet is not to dwell on it. Watch a movie, go to bed earlier, read a book, take part in solitary activities that will keep you busy. Don’t stay up and wait for her, and try not to think about being lonely. You’ll get used to it, and I expect you’ll get used to her coming in late and get to sleep through it, too, if you give yourself the chance to do so unmedicated.</p>

<p>Lots of people feel lonely when they start college, it’s an adjustment to not have your family around all the time as SOMEONE to talk to. I only get to see my friends once or twice a week and I loathe my roommate, so I am alone pretty much all the time. During the day I go take a walk, sometimes I’ll stop at a common area on campus like a lounge or coffee shop or something and make conversation with someone. In the evenings I get online and talk to friends in earlier timezones. :P</p>